Addams Family Values

Sorry I can't hang out this weekend, I'm too busy thinking about Joan Cusack as Debbie Jelinsky in the 1993 film Addams Family Values...

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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.108)
I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family, a podcast. It's just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade. And you're listening to The Swamp. It's our podcast and it's an acronym. Stands for some wack ass movie podcasting. And I did not deliver those lines like at John Conkleton. But I mean. It's okay. And how could you? I fucking tried my best, just like they tried with this sequel.

I could not believe. Did you hate it? No, it was amazing. Okay, okay, okay, thank you. The way you set that up made me think you hated it. No, no, like it outdid the first one. I was so pleasantly surprised. It's so rare. That's a great list to have, sequels that are better than the original. There's actually a handful, I would say. would say that Redboxed list could be a dozen plus strong.

There lot of good sequels. Yeah, and this one is fantastic. Not a bad sequel, too, but... And we're doing Camp this month, and I think this movie qualifies on two fronts. Absolutely. go to a summer camp, but this is also a camp film, as in... Easily. The notes on camp, it's giving camp, it's comedy, it's silly, it's gay, it's campy. Beyond just the amazing stacked cast that they had,

which is also full of very campy ladies. I mean, the writing is ahead of its time. absolutely. They do not make comedies like this anymore. No. Well, that's the thing is this is a family movie, and I don't mind family movies. I like a family movie from maybe the 80s or 90s, because they're not looking at you and you're an idiot and feeding you slop. This movie can be funny. It can be for parents, teens, kids.

all of the likes. I think this movie touches every base and does it seamlessly. I was actually thinking about sort of the PG-13 rating of it all. And I think that's like really the sweet spot that we don't hit anymore. Like you said, now it's just like, we wish we could say fuck, but we're just gonna say darn instead. And it just sounds kind of sounding stupid. it's the whole thing of they have the one fuck that they get to say. So when they do it, it's like two.

The SWAMP (02:20.654)
corny and punchy, you know what I And the source buildup. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, not too long. They're going to say the fuck word, oh my God. Oh, they did it. The only time I've ever kind of enjoyed anticipating that is truly watching Breaking Bad, knowing that they got one fuck a season and seeing where they put it was like a little Easter egg fun thing watching. No, I agree with you. It was totally different. But no, I was like having this shower thought where I was like, if I

was making The Addams Family and you're gonna propose it with a certain level of visual violence, right? It's comedic violence, but they are putting a baby under a guillotine. Of course. are dropping babies. And if we're edging into a territory where it's like the movie's gonna have to be PG-13, if we wanna do enough kind of ooky-cooky scary stuff, that's gonna be a little edgier as The Addams Family tends to be, it's like, okay, well, it's gonna be PG-13, so we're also just gonna say the word sex.

Right? We're gonna have, there's gonna be sex jokes. They're like, we're just gonna work within the bounds of PG-13. Like to the full extent. Yeah. Without thinking of it as being a limiter. Exactly. That's the thing is I feel like it's, we're so scared of like, I guess overdoing it. I don't know. I don't want, I don't watch kids movies these days, even though like there's plenty of really great kids movies that still.

get turned out every year in more creative kids movies and stuff. I don't know that I would rank Flow as a kids movie, but I don't know, would you? Well, I would find that something that is quote unquote a kids movie that ends up getting critical acclaim, we then just call animation. There we go, okay. All animation is not kids movies, just like all kids movies are not animated. I feel like that's a huge distinction. Just because something is animated doesn't mean

its intended audience is children. The intended audience can be everyone. Just like in the other movie. Yes. God, where was I going? You think they're being talked down to? Well, I think there's an issue. There's an issue of like, like death and the totality of death not being talked about in kids' media enough now because it's scary. Scary stuff. Like you have to watch Scar push Mufasa off that fucking cliff so you can learn as a kid about grieving and what death is because those are important lessons to know. Also like

The SWAMP (04:40.364)
Bad people do bad things in real life. Kids need to know that too, right? And we need to teach them it through media so that they don't, you know, have a warped perception of the world. And I worry that too much kids media these days is so censored. goes through 9,000 layers of like pre-approval and checks so that no one would ever possibly get offended that like kids are not learning these lessons anymore. It's not even, it's censorship in like,

so many different friends too, because it's the whole thing of like, because we're all on TikTok so much, we all say unalive. And now in new literature that's getting churned out, people are genuinely using those phrases. And like, dog, we're just getting dumber by the minute. I don't know. I would like Wednesday Addams to come to some public institutions and teach us all a bit of a lesson sometimes. Are you caught up at all? Do you watch the Netflix show at all?

I watched the first season, because it was very much like a COVID watch. I wasn't doing anything better. I put it on yesterday, knowing that I was going to watch this. And I was like, I'll get into it. I maybe watched the first minute, and then I turned it off. So is the new season that they're promoting right now season two or season three? Season two, because Netflix works at a snail's pace. It's been, I think, four years, at least.

Gemma Ortega is gonna be 40 in those pigtails. But I haven't seen the show, but I've seen all the press stuff and I think her outfits have been amazing. bleach brows, we love the bleach brows. The men hate them, the women love Exactly, it's amazing, it's amazing. The fact that you get to see, like, everyone talks about how the male gaze versus the female gaze and like, mean, like men's perception of the female gaze is so warped.

I guess, which like it's the whole thing of like, take the supermen, for example, the two supermen, Henry Cavill and David Cornsweat. Men are bamboozled by the fact that girls like David Cornsweat because he's pretty and looks nice and not like jacked ripped like gigantic Henry Cavill. But like it's the same thing. Wait, I'm confused. Do those two men not look exactly the same? look exactly the same, but Henry Cavill looks like.

The SWAMP (07:01.917)
disgusting, hulled-down, gigantic, shredded. Do you know what I mean? So I agree, but I honestly feel like that's more about, like, the movie stylization. They just, like, didn't make David Corn sweat, like, dehydrate himself. Like, I feel like those men have similar bodies. They just put him in a more silly Superman outfit, and they put Henry Cavill in one that, had drawn on abs. Like, I feel like all the Zack Snyder...

Shit, I'm like, you just drew abs on, like that looks so They make those men dehydrate themselves. He was gigantic too. He is probably beefier, yeah. Well, like, no, don't get me wrong, David Cornsworth obviously. about the dehydration, like your veins have to be pulsating. Exactly, It's like, like no. Like we need to see them on your bulge, thank you. But it feels like the same way with the Jenna Ortega thing because every woman on the face of the planet got it.

And they were like, yes, this is like one of the most beautiful looks I've seen in like decades. And every man was disgusted by it just for a bleached brow. It was just, it's insane. Well, Julia Fox said it best. She said, I love to bleach my brows because they're men, it's men repellent. That's true. don't talk to me when I get rid of my eyebrows. That's true. Julia Fox identifies as a lesbian now, right? I think. Yeah, that sounds right. my God. Speaking of Julia Fox.

Julia Fox, Safdie Brothers, Marty Supreme. I was Josh Safdie's muse when he wrote on Good Jobs. Timothy Chalabes, clearly Josh Safdie's muse when he was writing Marty Supreme. Because they have got that white boy so quarked up, he's getting a little motion. Dude, this is his bread and butter. think he's got this. I'm so excited for this This might be his Oscar. I don't know, guys. think the way that I'm feeling about this, I'm feeling very hopeful.

So after I watched the trailer, you haven't seen the Marty Supreme trailer, it's a new Timothy Shalime movie coming out this Christmas about ping pong. And I don't know if it's about a real guy, maybe I think, but just a competitive ping pong player and it's gonna get intense and whatever. Tyler the Creator is gonna be in it. Mr. Wonderful from fucking Shark Tank. was like, was like, Kevin O'Leary. What are you?

The SWAMP (09:21.09)
doing here? Well, he has line deliveries weren't bad, so I'm interested to see. And one of Paltrow's post ski accident, of course. cannot wait to see Gwendy up on that screen, freaking with that little twig boy. I was having a thought, about the timeline of events and the way I feel like as a keen observer of Timmy against my own will, but you know, just this information. You were there in the beginning.

This information just makes its way to me and I keep it. And so I feel like the way he prepares for roles, you can kind of see in his behavior. So if we're staggering, right? When he was preparing for Bob Dylan, he had a way about him, you know? And then when he was preparing for Dune, whatever. I You think he's been in Marty Supreme mode.

I think when he was getting all of his recent accolades for whatever, he was in Marty Supreme mode because when he made that speech and he was like, I am in the pursuit of greatness. Yes. That I'm like that speech he gave. I'm like he was like in a little method state from Marty Supreme.

prep or he had just finished filming it or something. was like that energy, he was in that mind space when he made that speech. He was Marty. This is going to be the thing that he's doing. He's going to be on the press tour for this for the next, I don't know how long, at least for a chunk of time. Probably through Oscar season, my guess, because it comes out Christmas. He's doing, is he doing due now? Are they doing due now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. he's bald. He's bald right now? Yeah, he's shaved bald. Have you seen? No.

He's gonna be outside new pictures. has a shaved head. He has a shaved head in Dune three, Dune Messiah. I'm dead naming the third Dune, Dune Messiah. He shaved his head, yeah. What was I gonna say? Yeah, no, think going from this sort of Marty's Supreme mode, which also I feel like he was with all that Knicks shit going on, know? He's feeling his white boy swag super hard lately. And going from that into Dune Messiah.

The SWAMP (11:33.838)
Dog, that's gonna be crazy. He's gonna unleash something there. I'm excited. I'm excited for this movie though. It looks really good. It does give me back to the Uncut Gems vibes. I'm excited for it and I'm really excited for Avatar. So December is looking like a really good month for me. I'm also pretty excited about that new- Let's talk about this movie though. Adam's Family Values suggested to us-

by month themes with Jester, Brooke Drew. Thank you, Brooke Drew. I had a great time with this movie. I had never seen Adam's Family. The fact that you had never seen this is crazy to me because Miss Joan in this goes crazy. I think it would have been too formative for you if you saw this at a young age, I must say. It would have rewired me. Like Wednesday in this, if you saw this at 12 years old, girl.

I think a lot of, so I had never seen Adam's Family before we did it for the podcast. We did it, I don't know, probably sometime within the past year or two. years ago. And I had never seen it, and then I watched it for that, and then I had never seen the sequel. I watched it just today for the first time. I think a lot of things from the second movie.

I knew about because of Tumblr gift sets of Wednesday Addams in the- With the second, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing the Native American speech and I had seen that and I think there were a lot of things from this movie that I actually thought were from the first movie that then probably while I was watching the first movie didn't occur to me that they didn't come up. But I was like, I think a lot of this is what I thought the first movie was. from like, I think this one has more things that got iconic on Tumblr.

The SWAMP (13:15.158)
I guess is where I'm coming from. more referential. Certainly more referential. Yeah, think it's just, mean, first of all, I love that both movies are like, Fester's a fuck up. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck is going on with Fester? hell is going on with Fester right now? This one got so funny though. I think they really honed in and like just some of the, obviously the humor, I think.

They toned it up. They saw what they could do with the first one and then turned it up a notch. I thought that was fantastic. I thought it was... Thoughtful's not the right word. No, it hit on all fronts. The script was tight, visual gags, good sets.

good cast, like they were not missing. And it was, was campy. The camera work was good. I felt like the direction, everything was the timing. That's what literally watching this just made me pissed off. I was like, why can't we have comedies like this? Exactly. Exactly. The fact that every time Morticia was on screen, her eyes were just lit like that.

Amazing. And it's just the thing that's like, no one would take the time anymore to do a stupid gag like that. Well, no one knows how to light anymore. We don't have gaffers. my God. Where are the gaffers? Do I have to go back to school to become a gaffer and just show up on set so y'all can light your fucking shit? Please. my God. Fantastic Four movie. a-

Have we podcast since I saw that? think I ranted about it last time. No, I haven't heard about this. Tell me, tell me. It was bad, obviously. It was just very bad. It was so bad. It was so bad that I started configuring conspiracy theories about like, Doja Cat.

The SWAMP (14:56.942)
had a birthday party. Like Doja Cat had an eyes wide shut birthday party like 10 years ago. Everyone was saying that she was like participating in like Hollywood humiliation ritual, you know, like weird culty, you know, and I think that was just cause she was doing.

you know, her own thing or whatever. Like, I'm not saying that that's necessarily true, but you're like, her wearing that shirt of that, like, Nazi blogger. Do you know what I'm talking about? She had a t-shirt that had a picture of a person, a famous Nazi, I guess. I don't know. I didn't know who that person was, but everyone was like, what the hell is this weird thing? And I almost feel like she does some of that weird shit as part of, like, humiliation rituals to move up the ladder. Because why was she singing?

Why was she singing James Bond at the Oscars? Like, was that a humiliation ritual? But then I'm like, she's dating Joseph Quinn and I'm like, made him ugly on purpose to humiliate him as part of their humiliation ritual. this is me really pulling out some red yarn. Why is he George Harrison? Why? Like, look at that man. Johnny Storm is supposed to be hot.

And they made that man look comically ugly. It was so, so bizarre. The CGI looked awful. I'm sure it was butt. It was really, and the lighting, this is what made it come out. Everything looked just so flat. And you could tell that some of the sets were good. And because they did this like pseudo 60s aesthetic thing, actually didn't piss me off as much as I thought it would. was like a modernized 60s.

But some, was like, literally, just wish this was lit better. I'm like, this would look nice if it was actually lit. Everything is just like so fucking front lit. It just looks bad. It just looked bad. People need to just go and sit down and like watch, and I'm gonna sound like a dick, but just sit down and watch Citizen Kane. Do you know what I mean? Just anything, any old movie that was like...

The SWAMP (17:04.078)
pre maybe 90s. Do you know what movie that genuinely I think the shadows and lighting in that movie moved me to tears is Paris, Texas. Have you ever seen that movie? I watched like half of it for class and then didn't finish it. no. So I'm going to say no. Damn. I know. know. remember being very visually beautiful, but yeah, I didn't get through that one. I know I need to. I mean, you don't need to.

you know, it left you dangling last It's one of those, I was also like 20 years old and Too many movies, not enough time. Yeah, well, it's like when you get it as an assignment, you don't really want to watch it. Right, real. Sometimes, but yeah. I don't know, took classes about TV shows actually. never took

I movie classes. Which I'm sure in shows. A Mad Men's class is amazing to me. Back to the movie. You mentioned stacked cast. I wanted to go through and shout out some of my favorite jump scare highlights. So we obviously have the main stacked cast that is the Adams family. I'm not touching that. Joan Cusack as Debbie Jolinski is fucking enlightened. Changed the game for villainry.

I was obsessed with this bitch. Every line, every line she said was iconic. Every outfit she wore was iconic. She did not fucking miss. This is maybe, at least in my opinion, because I had seen this movie before, I would say her most iconic role. Her best my personal opinion. like, yeah, like you said, she didn't miss the whole time. To me, she's always the principal from School of Rock. That's just like who she is. Exactly. That's your true. To me. Of course, of and for me.

But I also really wanted to shout out David Krumholz, aka Bernard the elf from the Santa Claus movies. He also, he was also recently in Offenheimer. You may recognize as a more recent role of his working actor, David Krumholz, who I always clock because I'm a The Santa Claus fanatic in a weird way. knew he was familiar, but I didn't. couldn't. I couldn't figure out. One day is a camp boyfriend. The asthmatic sitting there. was like, why is that?

The SWAMP (19:18.094)
Alfred Molina to me. my god, could it be baby Alfred Molina? Yeah, because him and David Krumholz do kind of look alike. Well, especially looking at him in Oppenheimer, I'm like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's morphing. That's like Pokemon situation. He's like the middle one. David Krumholz is the middle one, Alfred Molina is last one. Who's the baby one? Who like starts? don't know. God, what's the kid's name from, what's it called? The Sopranos?

my god, AJ Soprano. Wait, that's so funny. Not at all. Not at all. I haven't even watched the Sopranos like that, but I'm like... Okay, but wait. The funny... literally, I had to pause my TV because I was laughing until I was in a coughing fit was David Krummwoltz's character at the camp. have this little like...

that they sent this like timeout hut and they keep putting one Stan Pigsley there and they're like you have to go to the hut and watch Lassie or whatever and David Krupp Holtz gets sent to the hut.

And you know, he's like, I just wanted to read my book. Then the counselor snatches his book and then he closes the door and it just tight zooms in on a poster of Michael Jackson. And then it comes back to David Krumholz just like a blood curdling scream for his life. And then we drop it, hard cut. Next scene. We are not circling back to that. Michael Jackson does not make an appearance again. It was not, there was no lead up to it. There was no follow up. It was so.

fucking funny. It just because it's like post surgery Michael Jackson. was like white Michael Jackson. It was bad. It was bad era Michael Jackson. It was 1993. So it's frightening Michael Jackson, which just like absolutely sent me. could not believe that made the cut. I loved it. This is the thing that like this movie is so ahead of its time because that has me.

The SWAMP (21:19.054)
crying, screaming on the floor to this day and it's what, 35 years later? Well that joke aged in the right direction. You should be afraid of Michael Jackson. But I mean like just about the entire movie too. Like it really, I don't know. I don't know if it's just very like a cornerstone of like millennial, like early Gen Z. Like we watched this as a kid, but again, you didn't watch this as a kid. So yeah, no, I get your version opinion.

And the parts of it that I found to be as far as like dated comedy, right? I thought a lot of this hit so hard because it was just like things that were kind of silly goofy funny. But then we do address, so like the camp part of this movie is that Debbie Jolinski, she's the new nanny, she's trying to get Uncle Fester, she sends the kids away so that she can lock in on getting that D. And my God, though Uncle Fester is so horny in this movie. Wait, put it in that.

circle back. I love it. But the kids go to summer camp and they go to Camp Chippewa and much like last week, we discussed like white people using Native American culture. camp. Yeah, like the foundation of summer camp. And it's really shitty and fucked up, obviously. But like at the beginning, when they introduced this concept that it's like going to be a, you know, traditional American summer camp type thing. It's like, oh, Camp Chippewa, so quaint.

that's in the native language. What does that mean? And then it says like orphan. Ha ha ha. And it was like kind of played up, you know, in a way that I was like, I don't know if I love that. But then we get into the whole thing where Wednesday's like, I'm going to use my time here to fuck up these racist white people and turn their wire.

we doing a Thanksgiving production in the middle of... It's like it's a Halloween movie that's doing a summer theme that then is taking a Thanksgiving twist. I love it. Anytime of the year. You can watch movie anytime Well that's the thing, is you can watch this August to the end of November. Yeah. a wide berth. This movie has... Exactly. Exactly. I think that's something that's perfect about her. But it's so... Yeah, this movie is so self-aware.

The SWAMP (23:32.974)
Obviously. Well, not the movie self aware, but it's just, I don't know. Yes and no. It's making fun of a certain type of person. Like it's comedy. Yeah. it's a beat punching directly more than I thought that it was because I thought it was just going to kind of be like kind of cheap. Oh, Native American. We're going to go in a teepee kind of jokes. like, no, I actually she was like, isn't this fucked up? Let's address. Even Wednesday in 1993 is acknowledging her privilege.

Let's get a little more that energy back, girls. Yeah, on, come on. Angelica Houston, Joan Cusack, and Christina Ricci were all having a mother off. The 12 year old girl was a contender to shit on the mother toilet this time around. I think I honestly, honestly, I hate to say it. I think that Angelica came in last, and I think it's just because she didn't have to do as much heavy lifting in this one. She did plenty in the first one.

but yeah, she had to contend with Joan and Christina. That's a hard ball field. Because I do think, I think Joan takes it, but I think Christina is a close second. I was trying to find some like cultural tea on Christina Rickey because I remember there being all of this like wild cast drama about the show Yellow Jackets that she's a part of. And it's like the lesbian soccer team TV show.

Yeah, unfortunately, it's not good. But she, she, put her in a fuck ass wig for that show. it. can't wait. is diabolical. Misty, right? Misty Quigley. Yeah, absolutely diabolical. But there was all this cast drama that I didn't know if it was involving. It was like Juliette Lewis and like, there was Juliette Lewis hated the, hated the way that her character arc went.

But there was also like a big falling out with within the cast members and something about like late in life lesbianism like somebody like found like was discovering something about themselves. And I wish I had better keywords because I couldn't find anything on Google or Reddit. was like, I was like, I was like, was it Christina Rickey like talking about how she's like a late in life lesbian? But I don't think it's her. think it's one of the other cast members. So not relevant to this. I was. It's not Melanie Linsky and her beautiful husband.

The SWAMP (25:51.854)
It's I feel like it might be Julia Lewis. I don't know. don't know. Anyways, not important, but Christina Rickey. Not speculate on other people's. She bought me this because I feel like they're always making her they're always making her play kind of like freaky, corked up like that. She can't ever just play someone normal. They're like, and you have mental illness. you got to do the weird girl. Sorry. Sorry, girlfriend. We're making you the weird girl. Come on. Look at your forehead. It's iconic.

And she deserves it. respect for you and your forehead, Miss Ricky. Walk into the room forehead first. I'll tell you who impressed me this one, this watch was the granny. She was really doing it for me. I love her. She's from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I was going to ask. She's like, yeah, she's also just like a working actress. She's really funny. She does a lot of comedy stuff. She's got like a really iconic voice. Carol Kane.

She was in the Princess Bride as well. I think also similarly as like a Bog Witch or something. Valerie. Yeah, I think she's the one that's like with Miracle Max. I think she's probably, yeah. That is correct. But going down, also mothering but not in this role, Christine Bransky as the camp counselor. course. Did you, that tight pan, there was a shot that a fade to black.

where we then fade out from Christine Bransky's shaking ass. They're doing a little camp dance number and they like tight, they like tight pan out from her butt. It's perfect. She was like the shitty camp counselor trying to make all the kids do like the Kubaia activities. I'll tell you And her little shorts, it was really working for me. was like. I love a night.

Don't get me started on 90s Baransky, okay? In her prime. Well, she's still in her prime. Actually, what am I talking about? Have you seen, and I wish I knew more of what I was about to say, but I don't know a hell of a lot about it, but have you seen her and King Princess's companionship that has spawned? No, but that string of words has just sent me into another dimension. So, hold on.

The SWAMP (28:12.664)
Where is she? Wait, good for you, King Princess. King Princess, believe, is in this show. Does King Princess still make music or did we all just clock that nepotism and she just quietly exited? She's coming out with a new album. Music is decent. I didn't really listen to the last one. And before that, it was Cheap Queen. But she's been doing a lot of soundtracks. So she's getting her bag up, that's for sure. Doing a lot of that.

but she is in this show called Nine Perfect Strangers with one Miss Christine Baranski, Nicole Kidman, Michael Shannon, Melissa McCarthy. It's a staff cast. I've seen Nicole Kidman's wig. I'm familiar with the wig. Yes, yes, yes, but King Princess is also in this. She's in it, she's acting. She's in it, she plays this girl Tina. I don't know anything about the show. But I've seen King Princess and Christine Baranski on the red carpet together.

Bitch. It is, I'd watch, I'd watch. I hope something is going on so that I could watch. But they do, they've done like interviews, like where they like just interview each other kind of thing. I don't know. Even if there's not something going on there, I love whatever Diva Off is going on. I'm obsessed. I'll have to check it out. That show looks like ass though. It's based off of a very popular book, I believe. I'm sure.

The SWAMP (29:41.582)
That was supposed to be a snap, but for audio reasons I did do a clap. Gem is here with my mother. She's gonna host our interim podcast segment, Chocolate or Vanilla, where she says two things. We all say which one we like better. Gem, A, how are you today? And B, what is the theme, if any, this week? I am pretty good today, and there is a theme.

It's our family values, so it's all things that our family likes. no. no. I wanna right now put the label, when you say our family, some things on this list are not gonna be applicable to every member, because I'm not letting you put me under the umbrella of whatever's on this Is it gonna be like the town? Yeah. Like, it's perfect. I do stand behind bitch perfect. You will see. Sour cream or something.

Each one is devoted to a different family member. Okay, fuck yeah. Alright, let's go. This is great. you listeners at home really get to know... Maybe I was just about to say our last name, but I don't think I should do that. That's what I was gonna say, then I just said, no. Family values. Okay. Okay. Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry, because they're all threes. Chocolate. They're all threes. So the segment this week is chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry. That is correct.

Damn, switching it up. I'll go vanilla still. Okay, I will go, I'll go strawberry so it can do one of each. Okay, first one. James Bond movies, classic cars, or a round of golf? Okay, James Bond movies, classic cars, or a round of golf? I feel like the thing that I ultimately have the most respect for here is James Bond.

Hands down, I guess that just is more leaning towards my tendencies. I give a fuck about cars. And I couldn't give a fuck about alcohol. Yeah, I love James Bond movies. I'm the one that said, yeah, let's cover Casino Royale for the third episode of this podcast. Wait, did you see that Jeff Bezos wants his fucking botched wife to be in the Bond movies because Amazon owns sure.

The SWAMP (31:54.318)
Amazon owns the IP. Oh, I'm sure. So Mr. Bezos is getting up in there and his obvious. Do you know what his wife looks like? She got to go to space. looks crazy. Yeah, cool. Yeah, for sure. It's going to be so awkward because they're going to have to do it. He's literally their boss. That is so disgusting, dude. looks like if he's going to be in a movie, you know what movie it should be?

a reboot of The Mask, formerly starring, not what that bitch looked like. She to me looks like if they had to do white chicks over again, but they just had someone play the body double, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's them in makeup. No, reverse white chicks, she's gonna do blackface. That wouldn't shock me. But yeah, I'm gonna go James Bond, because I love James Bond. I will go with A Round of Golf.

Next one, jigsaw puzzles, anything lemon flavored for the game show network. I do love lemon flavor. So I'm gonna I think I'll go for lemon flavor because some of the shows on the game show network, you're like, some really famous people host some of those shows and you're like, you owe money to like what gambling, humiliation rituals before you that you now have to like RuPaul.

hosted a show for a while that was just wordle. People just got up there and did the wordle, basically, and then either won money or didn't. Like, I was this is fracking empire. How? Fracking empire working out. How? I'll go anything lemon flavored, though. I'm a big citrus girl. Lemon grass is probably my favorite scent, so I'll go lemon. Yeah, I'll go lemon flavored also. Next one. Clive Costler books, a cold Sam Adams or brownies.

well Clive Cussler books are not good, but I have not ever read any of them, but I know by the type of people who take them out at the library that there ain't no way. I'm obviously gonna be picking brownies. I don't really care for beer either. Yeah, Sam Adams does not speak to me and I don't read whatever that is. Clive Cussler, they're books about war. Absolutely not, absolutely not.

The SWAMP (34:23.21)
go brownie. As we progress through these, I'm also realizing now you made each triplet about a specific person. So we're not gonna try to explain to you on my family tree, but just know that each of these things is an embodiment of a particular family member that Jen is trying to evoke. of these three things are something that one person likes. So you're getting a pretty clear image of the Sam Adams brownies Clive Custler guy. It's giving grandpa. Are you the Clive Custler guy, Jen?

No, it's my grandpa. You'll know mine when it comes out. Oh, I didn't know how broad in the family we were going. I didn't know it was this immediate or... Yeah, no, I got quite a few. I am going to go brownies, obviously. Next one is this quote, leave the gun, take the cannoli. Leave the cannoli, take the gun? Leave the gun, take the cannoli. the godfather. The next one is the quote,

You're gonna need a bigger boat. Or the third one is just breaking into song for no reason. You're gonna need a bigger boat is from Jaws, right? Yeah. That's a pretty iconic line. I do leave the gun, take the cannoli. I do not care for people who be singing. I gotta be real with you guys. If you just start singing for no reason, I am in my mind trying to like strike you down with a laser beam. How publicly are we talking? If you're alone and you're chilling, whatever, if you're like in a social group of people and you're like,

coming and singing to yourself. Like, do you want attention? What do you want right now? I hate that shit. Oh, you're so in your own world. Can I get more context on the singing breaking out into song? this a part... I wouldn't say for no reason. If you said a word... That evoked a song, it's like the song has to be sung. I'll go with the singing then. I'll go with the singing then. I don't think... I feel like you're gonna need a bigger vote. We'll revere the 50th anniversary of Jaws today. I'll... Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know that neither of those speaks to me, but I do every now and then some someone says something and you just got to hit it. OK, I'm going to go with you're going to need a bigger boat. I used to love to just randomly quote.

The SWAMP (36:37.294)
Moana, who's it? my god. Maui rap, the Dwayne the Rock Johnson. So I'm gonna need, I'm gonna need that Yeah, literally, I witnessed this moment that will forever be seared into my brain. It was like middle of COVID, like lockdown period. Like we were at peak, like crazy, and Henry was living with us. were in the basement, and he was like doing dishes, and you come up behind him and you just go, "'Cause I'm gonna need that boat." And Henry's like.

I was like, what? And I was just like, just like the amount of things you have to steps you have to take to understand like, just to get there. Like you're not in our line from that song. Like you're not even like, you're welcome. You're just like, I'm learning double. Thank you. Give me that shit. The second verse third line. Okay, the next one is Frenchies, EDM or extra sharp cheddar cheese.

This is about my brother. He has a Frenchie. He has a Frenchie. He goes to like EDM shows with his friends. And what's the last one? Extra extra sharp cheddar cheese. Easy, I'm going the cheese. I'm going the cheese, no doubt. I can't roll. The EDM people, I feel like you have to be physically so fit to go to the contest. the way people are dancing for hours non-stop. It's awesome. How are you not dehydrated?

I'd be throwing up and like panting in the corner. Everyone's got lights on. I'm like in the library. I'm so ready. Unfortunately. I don't know. What did you say is unfortunate? I feel like I just get bored after a certain point because it's just the same thing over and over unless you're on drugs. Well, yes. Next one is you two. Amaretto on ice or pitch perfect.

We got it on our Pitch Perfect. I do like Amaretto, but I like to mix it with stuff. It's a little abrasive straight up, but it is one of my favorite Christmas time liquors. I love to add a little Amaretto to the coffee. That gets me joyous and spirited about the holidays. Yeah, early in the morning too, so you're really feeling it. What was I going to say? So it was Pitch Perfect, Amaretto on Ice, or what was the last one?

The SWAMP (38:54.158)
YouTube, the band. Ah, see, I wish I YouTube more. No, no, fuck YouTube for putting that album on all our phones that we didn't ask for. I guess I'll go... I'll go the Amaretto, because I feel like if it was a nice Amaretto, that sounds really nice. But I don't know that I've ever had nice Amaretto. Di Sorano? I feel like that's just the regular brand, and it's pretty good. Yeah. The bottle's beautiful, too. Also true.

I am gonna go with you too. Next one. Reality TV, music bingo, or reading a book right before the movie comes out. This one's about Jen. I'm gonna pick reality TV. I love reality TV. And that's one of my favorite things to do with you is watch reality TV. I don't watch a lot of reality TV.

won't read the book before the movie as much as I want to and try and should, but I never end up doing it. What was the other one? Music bingo. Music bingo. I'll go reality TV because I personally think I would have a blast watching reality TV with you specifically, Jen. We actually, Emily and I just watched.

we got caught up on the new Project Runway. There's a new season of Project Runway, it's like an all-star sort of situation, also like, there's someone from Drag Race on it, so it's very up to date. I'm watching. It's fine so far. Alyssa told me though, Alyssa told me that there was some shady shit going on behind the scenes with Tim Gunn and how they offered Tim Gunn back. Apparently he got offered it.

and then didn't hear anything else from the network. And then Heidi was like, hey, have you looked over your contract already and the terms of it? And he was like, what? No, I haven't gotten my contract yet. They gave it to Christian instead. Tim wanted to do it. So they asked him, he said yes, and then they undercut him and hired someone else. so, I think so. Which, mind you, Christian's been doing it since Heidi and Tim left originally, I believe.

The SWAMP (41:05.934)
But still, like, sorry, babe. do you tell a package deal? Exactly, that's what I'm saying. Like, sorry, don't get me wrong, I love Christian. don't know that. No, he's not adding anything to the show. I'm sorry that- No, Tim, Icon, already being said by other people. Icon, legend, Tim Gunn. You just can't replace him, so. Designers. Yeah.

Christian Siriano does not garner the same respect. If Tim Gunn was like, hey, you need to get your ass moving, I would do it. Christian Siriano, I'm like, you're a mosquito that I could flick away from. And it's the same thing with La Roche in the way that I respected Michael Kors' cattiness and rudeness to the contestants. La Roche is not constructive enough to be as mean as he is. Yeah, I...

I didn't always love Michael Kors, because sometimes I was like, shut the fuck up, what do you know, you design ugly bags. That's true. I think he had a certain class about him. Law Roach has not been hitting with me. I do not like his judging. think he like, yeah, he says shit that is not applicable to critiquing the dress. He just says some out of pocket shit. Very stirring the pot.

I think for some reality TV, yes, that makes sense and that's part of it. And that's very like, like drag race. I know he goes and he judges drag race a lot. That makes sense for there. For something like this, especially in your like medium, basically it just get, it screams like, I don't know, unprofessional. Like you're here to like do, to work and stuff like that. I don't think like, I don't know, like complaining and being like, I can't believe I came over to see all these fugly dresses today.

Like girl, this isn't the show. It's not the same. Anyways, that's me on my high horse. Agree. Reality TV corner. Yeah. I'll go Reality TV for the sweep. And back to Drag Race. I just realized, found out what snatch your wig means. It means you're in a queen fight and you ripped someone's wig off. You snatched the wig. I've been watching Snatch Game for years. I didn't know what it meant. Well, your snatch can also mean like your vagina is a snag.

The SWAMP (43:13.066)
It's a snap. But you can also snatch your waist. snatched. You snatch it. So you can pull something tight to snatch it. You can pluck it off to snatch it. Or it can just mean vagina. Now I know. Like most words, it can also just mean vagina. Next one is junuments, word search puzzles, or dragonflies.

Dragonflies kind of scare me because sometimes they're a little too big and you're like, love a dragonfly. They land on you and there's a weight and a heft that I don't like. They're pretty harmless though. I'm gonna go for word searches because even though fuck the New York crimes, I do pay for their gaming packs so that I can play all the word roles and I can do all of the crosswords. Did you say word searches though? Yes. no, fuck a word search. I love a crossword.

Love a crossword, hate a word. So you don't play that other one, the strands? I do play the strands. It's not my favorite. I like to do the Monday crossword, because that's the easy one. That's the only one I can actually do. All the other crossword, like the full crossword. Yeah, I do the minis. Junior mint, mint and chocolate. Specifically, the mint in junior mint is toothpaste. It's toothpaste. It's gross. So I'm going to say dragonflies, even though they're a little scary to me.

I'll go dragonfly. I think that's a tattoo I'd like to get across my shin. I think they're very cool looking and I like the colors. yeah, and out of all the bugs, that's a pretty good bug. Nice. I'm gonna go with you guys. I think a dragonfly is cute. Next one is Agent Peggy Carter from Captain America, Supernatural or Queen? What gets the most respect from me? The band Queen. What do I have to pick out of my like...

obligation to honoring myself as a person, supernatural. The place that that show held in my life for so long. Unbeatable. You were there. I was there. I was in the trenches. I was in those super hula trenches, because you bitch. And I soloed I just won't forget it, and I can't. Burned into my memory. I'll go queen, because I'll tell you what. I wasn't there. I was watching from the sidelines, but I was not there.

The SWAMP (45:38.158)
I'm gonna stay away from you freaks. Exactly, I stuck to my one direction, thank you. A different kind of freaky teen girl. Exactly, exactly. I'll go with Peggy Carter. Next one is a big bowl of popcorn, the Red Sox, or Game of Thrones? Game of Thrones. Wait, I do love a big bowl of popcorn. was gonna say. Bowl implies that I'm at my house, and my favorite place to consume popcorn is the movie theater. So it was like big bag of popcorn.

Maybe except if you do get the biggest size at low key is a bowl. Exactly. Yeah. Kind of a do you know what something as a cinema enjoyer as a movie lover I have never and probably I will never get one of those fuck ass popcorn buckets. The Dune Worm one was iconic and funny for a second. All of the ones after that. It's like thirty seven dollars for a tiny piece of plastic. They make them for every blockbuster now. They're never clever. The Freaky Friday one was kind of funny. They had like

soda cans that looked like popcorn and the popcorn looked like a soda because it was like reversed. It was clever, but it's just like a step of marketing that I'm like, it's 40 fucking dollars and it's whole lot of shit. It's landfall, watch this. I can't go there. I've yet to be wooed by them, but I am constantly wooed by popcorn. So I'll go popcorn on this. Okay. And then I'll go, I'll go Game of Thrones. Next one is Pikachu. How to train your dragon.

or making pancakes? Ooh. Pikachu versus pancakes is really tough, because I don't really like to eat pancakes, or I don't like to make pancakes. I just like to eat them, because I feel like I always do a bad job. I always kind of fuck it up. I kind of burn it. I'm a big Pikachu. Ain't nothing wrong with Pikachu. It's making pancakes specifically, you said? Yes.

Yeah, I'll go making pancakes. I feel good on a stove in the morning. Yeah, I'm gonna go with making pancakes too. What's your favorite additive? I like M &Ms in my pancakes, because I'm fucked, but I love blueberries as well. Yeah, I like the blueberries. I like a blueberry syrup situation. Blueberries and syrup situation, I would say is my ideal. I like a cinnamon swirl. Kind of, so yeah.

The SWAMP (47:55.182)
As soon as we're all kind of a hybrid kind of feeling like a cinnamon button pancake. Next one, Jyn and Tonic, Dungeons and Dragons or Greta Van Fleet? You're gonna make me pick on myself. I'm gonna pick Dungeons and Dragons maybe just out of recency bias, but if I had to give, I'm thinking if I had to give the other two up, I think I could live without Greta and without Jyn, but I think I could live without.

Dungeons and Dragons. Unfortunately, I do love a gin and tonic. But I feel like that's situational. I enjoy Greta Van Fleet a good enough amount that I think I'll go with them. Definitely waiting on a new album. So me too. Greta Van Fleet for me. Next one. Making risotto for big groups of people. Comfy robe and slippers or a paloma.

Ooh, this is about Henry. I'm gonna say, cause I like to eat the risotto, but I'm not gonna make the risotto. So I'll say comfy robe and slippers. Cause Henry will like put on a blanket, he'll have on like a hoodie and then a blanket. And then he'll put a robe on to like secure the blanket around him and then tie the robe. So he looks 400 pounds. I would say he looks like Baron Harkonnen cause he kind of like looks like he's floating a little bit. Like massive and just like floating down the hallway.

He gets mad comfy. Anywhere he's at, he travels with the comfort. Oh, he's comfy maxing, that's for sure. Oh, I really respect his game like that. I'm gonna go risotto for big groups though, because I like to host and I like to cook. Nice. I'll go with the comfy Roman slippers too. I want to drink Palomas with Henry because I'm a tequila girl, but I can't do the grapefruit juice. not grapefruit, it's not it.

No, you don't want that, Jen. No, I don't want tequila either though, so I can't really speak on that. Okay, you're not missing anything. Last one, fish and chips, crocheting or Josh Groban? my God. I'll pick fish and chips because I'm shit at crocheting and although I do have respect for Josh Groban as he does raise me up, I love a beer batter.

The SWAMP (50:19.758)
situation. Who's Josh Groban? Kill yourself. I would vote for that alone, but I'll probably go crocheting because that's something I would like to learn how to do and it's also the perfect gift. Like my mom knows maybe three different sort of styles of crocheting and all she does for anyone that ever needs a gift is a big blanket. That's it. She like sits and watches her shows and just crochets.

Don't even have to look at it. It's perfect. everybody loves it when you give it away. They're like, ooh, I like it. It's It's best blanket. We have so many great blankets. Not gonna lie. Yeah. It's a good problem to have. I'll go since you did crocheting you deficient chips. I'll go with Josh Groban. And that is it for family values. Family values. Our family values. like.

Food and booze and TV. I love that. And I love you. See you next week. Love you guys. Have an awesome night. Bye. Bye, Jai and love. But then my last shout out jumpscare cast member that I just it. This is just weirdly specific to me, but Tony Shalhoub is TV's monk is a is a vocal stem phrase of Henry's. He'll say,

Tony Shalhoub, TV's monk. Anytime the monk gets brought up, he's like, Tony Shalhoub, TV's monk. Tony Shalhoub, who is TV's monk, was in this film and had exactly three lines. He was singing the Macho Man song in the bar when Debbie flees. Debbie flees and goes to the bar and is surrounded by men. And I was like, is that Tony Shalhoub, TV's monk? And it was. Yes, ma'am, it was. That was my true jumpscare of this film.

Tony Shalhoub, TV's Monk, because I D &D a lot. Monk comes up and Henry always says Tony Shalhoub, TV's Monk. Wait. I had no idea. Dang. Okay. While I'm on my D &D shit, please, Let me tell you what I think about this movie. So basically what happens is Uncle Fester is single, looking for love, virginal even. Virginal, yeah. And Miss Debbie Jalinski, Joan Cusack,

The SWAMP (52:37.332)
She is a murderer. She's a serial killer. black widow. gets her husband, she takes that bag, and she moves on. And she's a master of disguise. So she shows up to be the nanny, but really she's trying to get that Uncle Fester D and that bag. And then we actually do get the conclusion. We get the romance, the follow up, the execution of the plan to the marriage.

to the seduction and then she tries to kill him and she can't kill him and she keeps trying to kill him and she can't kill him and he is just like quivering because of how horny he is. He still does everything she says but she just like can't fucking kill him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just got him in a cock cage like entirely. But it was funny, I thought she was gonna go a little harder with the murder attempts. We only get like maybe two or three.

I figured we would get a, what's it called? You know, fast cuts of a ton of different ones. A montage. I thought we'd get a montage, but I'm really glad that we didn't because I think that could have gotten older really fast. Maybe, but I was really into this dynamic of like woman, gold digging woman who wants to murder husband versus corked up husband who cannot die.

I just find this character dynamic to be compelling and I'm glad that we got to this point, right? In the story, like the idea is that she's gonna rob him and it's like, and then we get to see the fruition of the whole plan executed. It's not just like the whole time she was like leading up to trying to get engaged. It's like the engagement ring wasn't the end point. That happened like 20 minutes into the all fast. It's perfect. Oh, and the baby, when she's like, I'm having a baby right now, obsessed.

We're and we're moving and we're moving. It's so drag. know what I mean? Camp. It's camp. It's we're doing comedy and you got to get with it. And so we're speeding the pace up. I'm over here thinking about like undying warlocks and the pack of the immortal and like Uncle Fester is this unkillable being.

The SWAMP (54:44.622)
but with like no brain. And I feel like when you're a warlock in D &D, the whole thing about a warlock is that you've made some sort of like pact or a deal with like a dark entity to get your magic. So your magic comes from this pact you have with something like usually kind of evil. So I feel like, you know, here's the concept because this is what came to me originally when watching the movie Jackass. I had never seen Jackass and I was like, I was like, John's not still.

Yes. was like, what did you think recently for the first time in my life? I watched a jackass, but it was really, really reminiscent of like that era of YouTube, of like prank prank and stunt YouTube, which I definitely was watching those. it wasn't like too jarring, I think it is a, it is a cultural touchstone that should be studied to identify the early two thousands. and like just, yeah, I don't know that.

period of time, I think that that captures so fucking perfectly. think me watching it for the first time in 2025, I think of it as more of a period piece and an experimental film. I'm sure I would have thought that this shit is stupid if I saw it when I was a teenager or whatever. course, course. I had a strange amount of reverence. I had a strange amount of reverence for the Jackass series. Yeah, it's performance art if you ask me. But to me, Johnny Knoxville...

like made a deal with the devil. Absolutely. So that he cannot die and he cannot feel pain and he cannot die. And then he like went and hung out with a bunch of guys who want to fucking kill him for real. And then they just fuck around. So I feel like what it is, is when you make the deal with the dark entity to gain your power, your immortality and your power, the dark entity is then also punishing you for seeking out immortality and they set upon you.

people who want to get you down. So it's like to me, Uncle Fester is the warlock who made the pact. But the funniest thing to do to an idiot man who wants to live forever is put on a woman, like a wife who wants you dead. Right? Like so the dark forces that be sent Joe Pusack as karmically linked punishment to Uncle Fester. to find an equilibrium for Fester. I like this.

The SWAMP (57:05.602)
And I want to, I feel like that character dynamic is so good because it's like Steve-O, Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O is like this fucking masochistic freak and Johnny Knoxville just like can't die. Exactly. It's beautiful. There's something beautiful about that. Absolutely. She used some sort of strange sexual spell. I respect that. When Morticia was like, you-

disrespected our family and took Fester away. And all of those things I can forgive. But what I can't forgive? Pastels? Icon. But she's like, you did some weird sexual spell on him, which is devious, but I can kind of, she's like, shut you out for that girl. Well, there's so many nasty reads in this. I loved, what was it? The one that's like, is that your swimsuit?

Is that your overbite? Oh my god, yeah. She is quick with it. Destroyed. I loved her. I loved that they were like unapologetically just beat on young blonde women. were like, they're the bitchy it, we don't have anything else to do.

They're like, bitchy girl is gonna be an obnoxious blonde bitch and she's gonna have eight blonde bitch friends and Wednesday's gonna stomp them into the dirt. And it was perfect. And it was Wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah. I also think I like Pugsley a lot more in this one. don't think he left a big impression on me in movie one, but I think I enjoyed him much more in movie two. I liked him coming out as the Charky. I did, I must admit.

Hilarious and him and Wednesday sort of teaming up against the baby. I feel like we got more sibling dynamics there. His hair did eat down too. Oh my god, he's like IRL Bobby Hill. Not when he talks, because as soon as he talks you're like, that's not Bobby Hill. Yeah, but for sure. like visually, visually to me it's giving Bobby Hill. Bobby Hill, absolutely. Oh my god, he's gonna star in the Bobby Hill biopic. Did you hear? They're making a Bobby Hill biopic. Excuse me?

The SWAMP (59:12.142)
Who could they make a biopic about next? That is the question, isn't it? Bobby Hill. I dare you. I've actually never really watched King of the Hill. I've only really ever watched the episode where Peggy wins at Boggle. That's if you're familiar. literally nothing to me, so I can't say that I have either. I was feeling like kind an old head the other day and I was like, damn, I should watch The Simpsons.

I'm like, never watched The Simpsons. And I feel like culturally, I feel like I would watch it and I'd be like, that's where that comes from. Like literally, like The Simpsons is the origin of like all. A lot. Like all that shit, but I've never seen that. And then every time I think about watching it, I'm like, ugh. I'm not a Simpsons girl either. The closest thing I'll get is I was playing a pinball machine. That was Simpsons theme today. And that was, that was gas. Wait, I love some pinball.

I know, we were at this, me and Lauren, who we might have on as a special guest later this month for a certain movie. we were at this, what was it? were at, which shout out Hannah Lesbos, shout out Lesbos News. If you're in Boston and you're gay, or gay women specifically, Lesbos News is a lesbian newsletter that goes around, it's fucking awesome.

But they hosted a Justin Bieber lookalike contest last night at Jock's. That's hilarious. Which was phenomenal. lesbians who look like Justin Bieber? That's so funny. Yes. What did the winner get? A Dunkin' Donuts gift card? Winner got a bit of a swag bag. That's awesome. was pretty dope. But I must admit, it was one of my favorite parts.

playing Galaga and Ms. Pac-Man at the crowded lesbian bar. Yes. Absolutely it was. Wait, can we go, I eat at Ms. Pac-Man. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'll have to put you up to the test against Lauren, because they were really crushing it. So that's their game. I'm a Galaga girl. I will be up in the arcade, just because nobody ever wanted to play that one, because there were always more other fun games. So I'm like, away from me. I'm going to crank Ms.

The SWAMP (01:01:31.15)
When a pizza place has a Ms. Pac-Man, ooh, you hoes are But Fuck, Marry, Kill, this is so hard. I feel like we should do, should we just do Morticia, Gomez, Joan Cusack? I think so, yeah. That's like the sexy corner. Yeah, exactly. Those are the three freaks too.

Cause if we like throw in faster, like I'm sorry buddy, but you're dying. Like if we add in, Christine Bransky is also getting chopped. Like everyone else is getting chopped. So I feel like this is the only way where there's a debate. This is the correct lineup. God. I feel like, okay. think I'm going to have to, man. Damn it. I think I'm going to have to kill more Tisha because I think she's a little too coy and a little too quiet for me. I need the Gomez.

I need his high energy, I need him to be all over me, telling him how much he loves me. Morticia's a little more reserved and I think that would make me really anxious. So I need Gomez to be my personal hype man every single day. I Spinning you out onto the dance floor. I want some of that. Yes, please. I would love to wake up to that sort of enthusiasm every morning. the Gomez and Morticia are giving tea for tea. That's like... It looks like...

Please, where is that tea for tea couple? Please, I need to see someone do Iconic Halloween costume. my god, so good. Yeah, but I'm gonna do that and then unfortunately I'm gonna give Morticia what she wants and I'm going to kill her and I'm gonna pick off Joan Cusack, dude. shit. way she sucked on Feng's finger. At the very beginning? At the very beginning, I was like, yeah, that's it, that's all it

I would be smitten just like Buster. That is where I put the mental note or I'm like, we're really working within the bounds of PG-13 here. Like that is just about as much as you can do. we're making it work. we're pushing it. We're pushing it. And it's fantastic. It's beautiful and gorgeous and hysterical. But yeah, I'm getting crazy with her. And then I'm going to go back to my mans. What about you?

The SWAMP (01:03:49.602)
hard because I want to say Mary Joan Cusack and I'll be the one to end the line. I'll adore her and get her the Barbie. I'll get her the ballerina Barbie. There will be no ballerina Barbie. I I don't know you'll be able to keep her satiated, Dara. And I know and I don't have any money. Like she's not going to like me. So it'd have to be like a partnership where we scan men together. I think I could work the back end. I can sort of be the pimp.

Yeah, I'll drive the getaway car handling the finances. Yeah. So I think I will marry her. I'll fuck Gertitia because I want that under eye lighting. Fair enough. It's fair enough. When she was spinning on that dance floor and then she would something. They would cut. would just like cut to just like her like on her ass on the ground, like doing a fucking head spin. Like 600 flips in a row. Just absolutely sent me. But no, just every line delivery she has in this movie.

just fucking sent me. And then I'll kill Gomez. Sorry, buddy. That's too much attention for me. Fair enough. You want your space. I respect that. Yeah. I feel like I could get him to fuck off if I needed to. Too much PDA from Gomez, but I do love the energy. like that. Yeah. Yeah. And then the whole movie, I think I would stick with my choices, but I would, I think I would ask Thing to join us. think I would ask Thing to join me and,

Wait, I'm actually just gonna fuck the thing. That's all I want, just the hand. of course. That's also an excellent choice. optimal. That seems most I just need an extra one sometimes, guys, you know? And then I'm gonna kill that man at the camp. Well, of course, yeah. Because between him and Christine Bransky, it seems like he was pulling some more devious strings as far as the racism. Although, Christine Bransky, are not off the hook here.

but I'll say he was the worst, so I'll kill that man and then who am gonna marry out of everyone in the film? I guess I'll just marry Fester and then I can just be part of the fam. There you go, there you go. I'm kinda like dementia at the end. They're like this bald bitch named Dementia's here for you. I'm like, I kinda resonate with that. Fair enough, I see that, but.

The SWAMP (01:06:12.59)
What are you gonna serve? You're watching this with all of your camp friends and what's on the menu? I feel like you should just have like a Hungry Man dinner of like Thanksgiving like turkey with gravy Hungry Man frozen dinner. Okay. To really celebrate what Thanksgiving is all about. Sure. Which is American capitalism. Obviously.

I actually put more thought into my cocktail. At one point Gomez shakes up a little bottle for the baby and he puts in an egg and like some drops of blood. the baby's been hung over for three weeks. It's awesome. It's like he puts in like blood and egg and vodka. Yeah, vodka. And he shakes it up and he gives it to the baby. And I was like, that's I'm like, boom cocktail right there. So I'm like, what is an egg white?

vodka cocktail, which egg whites sometimes freak me out, but I feel like I've been trying to be more adventurous at restaurants when ordering cocktails to not rule out the egg white ones. They're usually whiskey based, which I kind of stay away from anyways, but usually the egg white, would freak me out, but now I'm like kind of coming around to it and I kind of like when it has the foam on the top. When done right, I can get down with an egg white. It's one of those things too, if you have an issue with it, like doing it in your house and like actually making the cocktail yourself, there's a good way that you can.

If you want to dehydrate it, I'm sure you can do it in your oven. You can dehydrate egg whites and then just sprinkle them in. powder, right? So it's powderized and it basically does the same thing, which is really cool. But just so you don't have to deal with the ickiness of, you know, eggs and separating eggs. But anyways, fog the drink with an egg. Which would be an orange Campari volume sour. I also want orange. Yeah. So you do. Yeah. Orange juice, Campari.

vodka, egg white, and maple syrup, and then you shake that up, and that's a nice little cocktail, I guess. sounds really good. That sounds really, really good. That's what Gomez has shaken up for baby pubert. Absolutely. That's so funny. You know too, that's just something that someone came up with in their car on the way to work one day. It's just like, who can come up with the ugliest baby name? And it was like a race. Yeah, that's really genius.

The SWAMP (01:08:27.022)
I love the punch of the joke too. It's like we were thinking Lucifer and Beelzebub, but then we thought we should give him a respectable name that, you know, a person can grow into and it's pure. It's amazing. I almost feel like that's like too close to Pugsley though. Like you already have a son with a weird P name, right? Like Wednesday Pugsley, like what could the third kid be named? I do just keep it Lucifer. That would have been funny. Lucifer would have been good, but yeah.

don't know. Puber is pretty funny. It's hysterical. Like, just sorry, the baby with the mustache. my god. was like, did they use, did they use products on this baby's face? were they? I know it was twins. They were using twins for sure. was like, they're putting powdered makeup on this baby. Like, this baby better not be inhaling any fumes. It was probably baby powder anyways. Whatever. The little mustache on the baby was so funny. They turned good.

Literally, I'm sorry, it's just so like class act in like comedy writing for a PJ 13 movie. Swap out the baby. It's hysterical. But yeah, I also I was feeling an orange wine for this. definitely went a camp vibe because I wanted to also pay homage to, you know, the humble turkey for Thanksgiving. But instead, I think a turkey club sounds very...

It still sounds very summer campy. Yeah, you get an orange wine outside. nice. Yeah. But what are you going to follow this up with? You're watching, you finished this. You guys want more. What's going on? I feel like I've just been on one. I think you should watch Jackass. I think you should. I like that. I think you should experience. After this movie, that's really perfect. More like a guys who cannot die.

You know, watch at your own risk. It is visually quite jarring. Stunning. Stunning is a good word. Men drink their own urine and like smear shit on each other in this film. So that's just that's it's flag for Jackass. But yeah, it's truly something. Well, have to respect their craft. What you? You went the.

The SWAMP (01:10:41.646)
the buck wild route that this movie takes. I went for the family side of it because I think we just, we keep it rolling on the Christina Rickey train and we watch Mermaids after this. Mermaids? What's Do you know what this is? Mermaids. It's her and her mother Cher and her sister Winona Ryder. Oh my God. And they live in like a coastal New England town.

And I don't know much of the premise besides that. It's one of those ones that is always on and you only ever catch 20 minutes of it or something like that. what the hell? I've never heard of this. This is crazy. Yeah, Danny DeVito, main character Danny DeVito. Yeah, but I think it's very much an 80s family movie, and I can still get down with it. So I think you watch Mermaids. I'm gonna have to look into this. This looks wild. I can't.

I truly can't endorse it in my entirety, but I mean, can't say it's bad. I think it looks good. I know Cher has a song. I know there's a fully a song that Cher did with Christina Rickey and Winona Ryder as like her little backup singers. Wait, that's so cute. Yeah, they're in little polka dot dresses. They're in the studio sweating. It's awesome. Maybe I'll just watch that.

I think that's a great call. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and it's jackass or mermaids. Jackass or mermaids. What are the two genders? Jackass or mermaids? Wait, and the way that they are tea fruity because they said the baby is a boy or a girl and they said it's an Adam's. They're like non-binary tea for this baby. It's just creepy. It's off. It's got off.

His name is Puber, I don't know guys. I don't know his name is Puber, but he can be anything he wants. Exactly. And thank you all for listening. We'll continue summer camp the rest of this month, but then who's to say where we will go? You never know here at the swamp. we have anything to plug? Not really. Not these days. No, send us an email if you want to talk, if you have any suggestions, whatever you want.

The SWAMP (01:12:54.284)
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