Raiders of the Lost Ark

Sibling of the pod Ryan joins us this week to discuss Spielberg's 1981 Indiana Jones classic. 

Ryan's Cosplay Instagram Account

Video on Sudan Archeological Dig

Dara's Letterboxd

Emily's Letterboxd

SWAMP stuff:
Patreon

Socials:
TikTok: @theswamppodcast
Instagram: @theswamppod
Bluesky: @theswamppodcast.bsky.social
YouTube

Dara's Letterboxd

Emily's Letterboxd

Our website: https://www.the-swamp-podcast.com/
Email: theswamppod@gmail.com

Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.3)
Don't look into the light. Keep your eyes shut. But keep your ears open, because this is The Swamp. That was lovely. That was my best whip crack to sound off. Thank you for that introduction, Ryan, who's our guest this week. and you're listening to The Swamp. It's our podcast. It's an acronym. Stance for some White House movie podcasting.

And Ryan is the younger sibling of Emily, and it's been a long time coming having you on the pod, so thank you for being here. Yeah, we're excited to have you! Thank you, thank you. I'm excited to be here. I was gonna say, I remember a long time ago, you told me that there was two movies that I had to consider you for if we ever did them, and the first one was Jurassic Park, and I totally forgot about it until like, an hour before we recorded last week. Sibling of the year. I know, honestly.

And then I sat there and I was like, okay, I Indiana Jones is in the works. So I dialed you right up and of course, here you are. Here I am. And we both, when we said Steven Spielberg month, we both got contacted by people being like, yo, Indiana Jones, it's gotta happen. It's gotta happen. Which rightfully so. I'm shocked it took us this long to get here, honestly. And honestly, I'm surprised it took me this long.

long to watch it. Yeah, another one that you have never seen before. You're slacking on like some major Spielberg. I know. And do you want to hear something embarrassing? The other night, needed to pick up out a movie and I was like, I'm kind of in a Spielberg zone. Yeah. Just fill in some gaps. So I watched War of the Worlds. my God.

Tom Cruise from 2005, I think. I don't think I even know about this one. Oh, really? Of course it's an adaptation, I'm assuming, of The Horse and the Yes. Yeah. The book, which was a movie in the 50s. Yeah, then Spielberg did it again. Oh no, it was not good. I definitely should have... was deciding... He does have some major flops. I was deciding to take not the AI movie he has called AI. AI Artificial Intelligence. Yeah. I don't know anything about that. What year was that?

The SWAMP (02:01.262)
I don't know, another early 2000s. He, like he, don't get me wrong. He's got some stinkers. I remember watching Ready Player One last year for the first time. I mean, it certainly was doing something. It did what I needed to at the time. Lena Waithe? Oh my god. Jumpscare Lena Waithe actually made that movie kind of work for me. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I take it all back. That's like the kind of movie that my parents really like.

It Jen written all over it, my god. Jen loves her some ready player one. Does she like Tron and stuff like that? Have you seen the trailer for the new Tron? No, I haven't. Yeah. How's it look? It looks like Tron. Okay. Like good. It looks like Tron. It looks very Tron. It's also like all music by Nine Inch Nails, which is kind of interesting. After they had Daft Punk do the last one, that's...

a real, ooh, that really stinks. I don't know, I never saw just seems right for it. Yes, yeah, it's Daft Punk. R.F.E. Daft Punk. R.F.E. Daft Definitely not forgotten. I always wanted to buy one of those Daft Punk helmets and then I looked up how much they were and I don't have that desire anymore.

I always thought it would be such a good like couples, or like, you know, just two person Halloween costumes to like run Daft Punk. But if you want to go legit with those helmets, they are not cheap. If you know the lights and the...

the optics and everything. Now, I've respect, the only French people I respect, Daft Punk, unlike the French Nazi in this movie. my, what a sellout. They were like, what's the worst kind of person we can think of? Not only are they a Nazi, but they're also French. Exactly, he really layered it on thick. I especially liked the other bad guy too though who...

The SWAMP (03:58.092)
What did you say his name was? I don't know what his title is. like TOTE though. It's T-O-H-T. We hate him. He's awful. He's like slimy. They never say his name in the movie, but he's just like has this Pete Buttigieg rat face. And he's in the classic Nazi trench coat. He's just scurrying around. He does give rats. He's got this big ol' hat.

He doesn't say more than like maybe... He's like sniveling. He's just sniveling. Yeah, sniveling. He doesn't say more than like 60 words in the entire movie though. He's just there like grimacing. You know who was there for like a really long time though actually? Was the first jumpscare in this film for me was thick daddy Doc Ock, Alfred Molina showing up. How old... He was so baby faced here. He's 1981 this movie was? 1981. He was probably like... Let's do the math.

in his 20s or something. He... I'm gonna guess 23. I was so happy to see him here and he was on screen for like a good while as well. Oh yeah. He, I mean, he's the entire opening scene essentially. feel like Indiana Jones always has like a plus one but he can never have... 28? Oh my god! Really? Oh my god, he had 14. 14!

I guess I just only ever imagined him as like adult man. He came out. Yeah. He came out like that. But I feel like Indiana Jones always has his like plus one, but like he never has more than one like companion. So you gotta always be cycling them out. So I love that we swapped out Doc Ock for Gimli at one point. Like that was a fair trade to me. I was sad to see Alfred May willing to go, but I was happy to see Reese Davies arrive.

I love his voice as Saul does a lot for me. I like, I don't know. I love that they were just having him sing too. They were just like, really just do some things that someone with a baritone will, you know, it'll be effective on film. Steven Spielberg's like, do a little song too. Yeah. up a little. Don't hold back. But yeah, so, So, Ryan, you've seen this movie about, I asked you earlier. Entirely too many times. Entirely too many times. Actually, no.

The SWAMP (06:11.598)
Not enough times, actually. But I remember growing up with this, and this was like your... My thing. This was my Your thing, yeah, yeah. What's the right word? Like all time fave? Like if somebody were to ask you, like, what's your favorite movie? Would you have said this, or would you have said like Star Wars or something else? It's like every other day, it's between this or Last Crusade, I'm not gonna lie. I kind of lump them together. like, oh, what's your favorite movie? What's on your letterbox top four?

I'm like, it's both of these. They count as the same thing. Or you just say Indiana Jones and hope they don't ask any further specification. In my mind, they are the same entity. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah. So how do you feel about the continuation of the series? Bad. Yeah. I think Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a thing. Derek, did you ever see that one? No. my God. Cate Blanchett looks insane. With the bowl cut. The tight...

I don't even know if I could call it a bob. It's a whole cut. I know there's a new one with C.B. Waller-Bridge in it. Yes. Yes. How was that? Bad. Very bad. Oh. It just seems sad. It's just he's aging. It is. It's very sad. It's like, don't wanna watch this sad. Oh. And the the McGuffin of the movie is the Dial of Destiny, which is a time machine.

Spoiler alert, I don't know. You're not missing much if you haven't seen this and I'm spoiling it for you. It's not, it's not good. Yeah. I mean, hey, they lean into the hokey stuff in these though. I forgot, or not forgot, but like thinking about it now, like the, he leans into all of the magical elements so hard here. Oh yeah. And I mean, that's throughout every movie. Oh yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. Indiana Jones himself saying like, I don't believe in all this.

It's a very Han Solo lines. Han Solo says a similar line in A New Hope. He's like, hokey religions and magic lightsabers are nothing but good blaster. He says a similar line in this. It's like, I don't believe in like, hoo-ha. And you're thinking about the boogeyman. It's like, and then Indiana Jones also goes, and it's like, I just saw God himself. And then he's like, I'm going to rob this indigenous community of their artifacts.

The SWAMP (08:33.986)
for some fucking college in Connecticut? Yeah. What? Of course a college. my God. Can we do, I want like a reverse Indiana Jones. I was actually, I was just Googling. I thought I saw something on Twitter or I'm sorry, X the everything app about that Disney was like rumoring a reboot. I saw that. Like TV show or something. everyone was like, Pedro Pascal, Pedro Pascal.

Has to be Pedro Pascal. So I saw all this, like, will Pedro Pascal be Indiana Jones? And I also saw some comments about the guy... Chris Evans? The guy they got to play young Han Solo in the Solo movie. That would be so funny if they got him again. Actually not bad. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I think that would be pretty funny. How did he do in that movie? I never saw that one. I never saw it either. It was a bad movie. I heard he was fine. He was sort of fine. The story was, like, weird. I know...

I think Donald Glover's in it. Donald Glover is in it. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is also in it. She voices one of the droids in it, I believe. Are you I don't see why not. yeah. Lupita? Was she in that one? She was in one of them. I don't think it was that one. I don't know. She voiced. I'm really losing track of the Star Wars universe. Everyone's telling me to watch Andor. I've heard it's fantastic. I haven't watched I lost all hope with the Star Wars TV series. I think it was... Yeah, which one?

the not the Mandalorian, was the one about Boba Fett, Boba was the Boba Fett series that Henry and I were so jazzed because we were like, hell yeah, Boba Fett's cool as fuck. There's so much cool shit they're gonna do with this. And it just was such a disappointment that since then I've sworn off. I didn't even have it watch the new Mandalorians, haven't watched any of it. And everyone's saying Andor's really good. I don't know. That's the wild thing to me. Cause wasn't that like the first real spinoff after like the success of the Mandalorian?

and it fucking tanked or something like that. Boba Fett was not like nobody cared. I did, I wanted it to be good and it wasn't. I think Boba Fett is so cool. Yeah. I think the reasoning is I just felt like Mandalorian season two and a half. I think that's why people didn't like it. I liked the Obi-Wan one.

The SWAMP (10:43.074)
That one was good. That's a bold take. Yeah, a lot of people say that's ass. I heard it was, I watched it. It was fine. It was fine. It was fine. I wouldn't like watch it again. liked the duel, you know, but other than that. I just don't pay for a Disney anymore. It was really once I saw Lizzo and Jack Black in the. Right. It like an okay. Yeah, this is, and I'm shutting the computer. I know they're doing a Mandalorian movie, which is set to release in like 2027. It's like, do we really need this?

Pedro Pascal is hardly even doing the acting anymore. He just does the voice stuff. He's not in the suit. Yeah, no, he's not in the suit. The only time he's in the suit is when he takes his helmet off and he doesn't take the helmet off. Exactly. It's wild. It's like the guy who had to stand next to Armie Hammer in the Social Network movie, and then they didn't tell him until afterwards.

that then they just had Armie Hammer and do all the scenes again and they CG'd him in to be the Winklevoss twins? I didn't know that. I didn't know It's like that's the same like that poor guy in the Mandalorian suit. He's getting Winklevoss number two. Absolutely. What a bummer. We should we should celebrate him too. Let him take the mask off. Where is he at the? I mean, maybe he keeps the mask on because he's an Ugo. Who's to say? Maybe he likes the privacy too.

I would maybe like that, you know? You don't have to do makeup. Get a big check and have no one know who you are. That's actually probably a move. Yeah. I'm an Ugo as well. I keep the mask on. wait. You know who's not an Ugo though? Harrison Ford. This movie is so sweaty. It's a sexy movie. He's running around. He's got that fedora on. He's got that shit.

on. tried to put him in those little glasses for one second and I said I am not buying this. I loved it. No, no, no. I said that man can't read. You're telling me he's a professor at a college? No fucking way. Absolutely not. Those are blue like glasses. Absolutely. I know a poser when I see one. Okay. I think in this movie he's supposed to be born in 1899.

The SWAMP (12:52.686)
So I think in this movie, he's 30, what, five? Sure. Wait, so 34 is this movie taking place in? 34, maybe 30. In the 30s. He's in his 30s. Yeah. Which is crazy that you're just already a professor at, like... I don't know. He seems to be, like, really world-renowned, and he's connected with all the other, like, archaeologists. know, he seems to many mentors. A lot of connections that, if you look into the expanded lore of Indiana Jones, you're like, how do you know all this? Mm-hmm.

bunch of white men who want to steal shit. Exactly. The ethics of this is not... Here's my reboot pitch. We do, you do like Michael B. Jordan's character in Black Panther, right? And you have them like steal from the museums and give back to the culture. Like a Robin Hood thing. Give Indiana Jonesby a person of color who's like robbing the British museums. Oh god, please. like smuggling the artifacts back.

to where they're supposed to be. Oh my God. What's that one famous one that the British Museum has and it's like one of the Greek goddesses and all of her sisters are in Greece. it. It's depressing. refuse to give it back. It's so sad. Yeah. I know. Yeah, that would be, that'd be gas. I like the sound of that. Who would you gas? Who is your, who is your... Michael B. Jordan. Fair enough. Let's just, let's just keep these good vibes going. Absolutely. I He's having his moment right now. He can also play a tweet of himself again. Wait, did you see? He's, he is right...

directing and starring in a movie where he plays, actually this is so on topic, he plays a rich, oh my God, he's like a rich boy who likes to steal for fun and Lily Ladstone is his, oh my God, she's like, hold on, I have to find this. accomplice? No. She's- The FBI agent trying to track him down. yes. Oh hell yeah. Okay, here.

The film follows a rich playboy who enjoys stealing art for a hobby, but meets his match and an insurance investigator who quickly fall for each other. this is, my God. Wait, this is literally happening. This, he's playing. Damn, I will doing what you're doing. I don't mean to shout out Michael B. Jordan too hard though, because he is a Jonathan Majors apologist and that fucking sucks. Yeah, that ain't it. But also Kiki Palmer, what the hell? What the hell? People keep letting me down. Stop.

The SWAMP (15:14.798)
Letting abusers onto your platform. Shut the... Stop. I think he hit Palmer. No. I'd like to know. Yeah. You'd like to know. I'd like to. I don't know. That's a complete non sequitur or complete departure of what we're talking about. I'd like to know. Wait, to continue a non sequitur, I have to address this somewhat at the top of the episode. Oh, yes. Ezra, I'm so sorry. Ezra wrote in to the swamp with a suggestion for Spielberg Month.

Warhorse, I just have to tell you not fucking happening, okay? Because when I was in third grade, I was in a little book club. Tell them. And the book club is like everyone cycled through who got to pick the books. And there were all these fucking bitches who did not like the same shit as me. And my mom was like, it's a social way to read. And you were not doing sports. And I was like, whatever, I'm not reading this horse book. I hated it. And then when I expressed that, all the horse girls were upset.

with me. I have personal beef with War Horse. Why did Steven Spielberg make a horse movie? I don't know. I don't need to know. I'm closing the case. You did suggest though, Ryan, you suggested we do a horse month and that I think would just get me riled up. I just don't know how I feel about horses. Well, I do know how I feel. It's negative about horses. Yeah. I'm pretty neutral, but yeah, I can't say I have any very strong feelings on them either way. Did you grow up with the movie spirit?

Did we? I can't say we did. You don't wanna fuck that horse? I don't think I did. I think we were more like a Brother Bear household. Oh yeah, we were definitely a Brother Bear household. Yeah, same for sure. Yeah, no, I don't think I ever seen a spirit. in Brother Bear? Was that? I don't know. We did the music in Brother Bear, was that? It's a cult. I should have known.

way up, of notes. Phil Collins in the soundtrack for an Indiana Jones movie. No, I was obsessed though. We watched this, we just watched this and I put the subtitles on as I often do and every time the music would play, would credit, it would say Williams.

The SWAMP (17:21.504)
Indiana Jones theme or something or like Raiders theme. The Raiders march is what I said. Williams Raiders march but we get the full John Williams credit in the subtitle. As you should. And it's the theme, know, it's like we're identifying the musical themes in the subtitles. I kind of was appreciative of that. This is a quick shout out to anyone that lives in Massachusetts and wants to do some really cool shit. You've definitely talked before about how you went to Tanglewood.

And so, maybe that was at Tanglewood? It was at the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Okay, so the pop They do it they do it, yeah, probably all over. You can probably look into this because they probably do it in a lot of other venues. where they play the movie and the score. I know Tanglewood, if you're in Massachusetts or Western Massachusetts or anywhere around that area, they'll do these big movie nights and everything like that. Like, I think this... August 1st, Return of the Jedi.

Yes, yes. Thank you, Ryan. Are you going? That would be awesome. I went and saw an ET one once and Henry was really pissed because my mom was like going to buy the tickets and she's like, we can either go to ET or Jaws. And I picked ET and Henry was like, why the fuck would you not pick Jaws? I was like, unfortunately, I think he was right. I just like ET better. Sorry. Sorry. What can I say? I just want my weird little guy.

I kind of agree with you though, picking ET, because ET, the flying theme is so like, big. I mean, all Jaws, he went God mode on that. But Jaws is more of like a subtle thing. I mean, yeah, that would have been really good. It would have been really good if you were like in the If it was 4D, you actually have to be, you have to tread water for the entire duration of the...

Good fun. What if we combine, okay, here's my business pitch also. We're gonna combine films with escape rooms. So it's gonna be like Saw, or like, know, Saw, but you're like chained up in a basement. Oh, that's a good idea. watch the movie. You know, like fully immersive. Like a shark moving, you have to tread water or something. Yeah, we were just talking about what restaurant you would make, like based on a movie or TV show or something like that. I like this better. Yeah, like 5D.

The SWAMP (19:39.054)
5D film experience. I'd obviously do Clue. That would be so fun. yeah. With a big escape room or something like that. I actually hate escape rooms. I get bossy and mean. It's one of those things you know you can't stop at. I get really rude to my friends and family when I'm in an escape room situation. I refuse to do escape rooms.

for that exact reason, because I know for a fact the second I step in, I'm like, I swear to God, if we fail. You guys are doing it wrong. You guys are doing it wrong.

You're idiots, you're all fucking idiots. Oh my God. All I can think about is imagine seeing your ex after slamming 15 shots. Okay, the way- You don't want to get into the Marion of it all. Marion, feel for this woman so severely because she was a business owner. business woman. Minding a small business woman. What?

Two things can be true. But she, you know, was minding her business. She seemed like she got over whatever trauma happens between them. Uh-huh. You know, in Nepal, slamming shots with her homies, and then he comes, just acts like an asshole, does not consider her feelings at all. Doesn't apologize once. He deserves to get punched in the face there. He did. Absolutely. He really did. And then he burns her small business to the ground. He, yeah, I was gonna say, this is one of those movies where I was like...

I've obviously seen this movie like dozens of times, having grown up with Ryan, but you always remember Andi and Jones being like a cool and suave guy. This man sucks. He's good. This kicked in this movie, and that's why I like it. Yeah, and he deserves it. He gets shot, he just gets a tar smacked out of him. He gets shot and then they punch the spot where he got shot over and over.

The SWAMP (21:37.861)
I was like, I felt that, that, ugh. But yeah, no, he left, he literally left this poor woman tied up with a bunch of Nazis. And she's like, please don't do that. And he's like, sorry, babe. And then just leaves her. Sorry, gotta go. Yeah, literally gotta go find the Ark of the Government. The Ark of the Government. Wow. The Ark of the Government, the Ark of the Government. It's where it ended up. You're not Yeah, true, to the government and the government warehouse. Uh huh.

thought it was gonna be a boat. Can I come clean? Arc? I thought this was gonna be a boat. They were talking about it. I'm like, okay, they're searching for the You the CCD, right? Yes. Yeah, they talk about enough arcs in there. well yeah.

That brings boat to me. And it was like a vessel sort of. It was giving arc in a way, but I really thought they were trying to find a ship like in National Treasure. You know how they're looking for the ship underground? I they were looking for ship. Archaeological digs can involve finding old boats. I thought that's where we were headed with this. I also, this came at a really good time because I'm kind of in my National Geographic moment on YouTube. I've been watching about the digs they've been doing in the...

pyramids in Sudan and they don't have to go scuba diving because they're all flooded so they have to go dig it up underwater. Very cool stuff. Like this is happening now? Yeah, they posted it like a week ago or so. Yeah, yeah, And they're like doing these archaeological digs? What are they looking for? Just old shit?

Just old shit, but like this is one of those tombs that it's essentially it would be because it got flooded so long ago It wasn't able to be plundered back in like ancient times So it's a complete tomb like in the way that like King Tut's was a complete tomb like the King Tut was famous is because his tomb was Untouched this would be the exact same thing. That's so cool. Yeah, never happens. So

The SWAMP (23:28.494)
We'll have to keep up on this Sudanese archaeological expedition. Yeah. So yeah, this was really, really ringing my bell.

This watch. I took an archaeology class at a college that was just all about monkeys because it was a science requirement. But it was like an archaeology, it was called like, you know, archaeological biology. Sure. And then I transferred colleges and the other college did not accept it as a science credit. They're like, you learned about monkey bones. And I was like, yeah, that sounds like science to me, bitch. There was some really good monkey propaganda in this movie. They killed that monkey and it really upset me.

They didn't poison the monkey. That monkey also... See Kyle! my god. Yeah, Steven Spielberg having the monkey salute Hitler was crazy. Who was the monkey working for though? The guy on the motorcycle, guy on the motorcycle, yes. Yeah. is like, spy... Espionage situation. I'd have to read into the novelization. don't.

There needed to be bad guys of every race, know? There needed to be a bad guy in a turban and a bad guy who's a Nazi and a bad guy who's French but also a Nazi. Yes, of course. Yeah, we needed a variety. Covering it all, really. I still think, like, the craziest, one of the craziest things about this movie is that Paul Freeman, the guy that just plays Belloc, just eats a fly.

Was that like real? Did that really happen? that really happened. He just like didn't break the scene. he didn't break it. And Steve Bielberg was like, well, I guess. That's Oh, I know, he was I know he was so jazzed when he saw that.

The SWAMP (25:07.494)
The other fun fact I would like to share. Please, yeah, give us all your fun facts, because I know you're full of fun facts about Let's go fact mode. Facts corner. The big scene where it's like the guy in the black turban who's swinging the sword. Of course, yes. The obvious scene where Indiana Jones just shoots the guy. Looney Tunes ass response. Yeah, hilarious. ass response. Originally in the script, it was supposed to be some big fight scene. Yes. At the time...

of like shooting of this. Harrison Ford had dysentery. What? Yes. I didn't know it was dysentery. Yes. He drank poop water?

The SWAMP (25:47.146)
suffering from dysentery and he was like well... the filming conditions really that bad? I don't know. I wouldn't know. Well they were in Tunisia for... Shots at Tatooine. Yeah, yes of course. Yeah. The boys were really kiki-ing about this. I'm sure Spielberg and Lucas were like just jabs. He's like I know a spot. Don't worry. Hey brother I got you. I got it on retainer. Really? I've got a good working relationship with the Tunisian government. Of course.

But so, okay, Harrison Ford moved Ford had Dishon Tary at the time. And he was like, can I just shoot the guy? And they said yes. And it's become one the most iconic scenes in the entire franchise.

Which makes sense though, cause I thought you were gonna say that he just argued like, why would Indiana Jones go to all these lengths to do this big choreographed fight thing when he has a gun? Which is what I was thinking through most of this movie. Like I guess he does get his gun like lost maybe or something, but when he's in a lot of fist to fist combat and just getting punched, like, do you not have a firearm on you? Like just shoot him. I see it girl. I see it on your hip. What are you doing? I get that we-

crazy whip sometimes. get that. I get that sometimes you need to feel manly and get a few punches in. But yeah, I will say though about this movie is I love the punch sound effect. Is that weird to say? No, it feels right. It's crunchy. It's nice. Seymour really leans into sound effects in this one, I think. Well, everything is like dialed up right. Like the lighting and the shadows and the sound design and everything is just like more intense. I feel like we're really losing. I don't know that like

The shadows in this movie just like made me gasp. Why don't movies look like that anymore? Just like that golden light on his face. I just feel like we don't see that kind of filmmaking. I really loved the bar scene. That one really did it for me. A lot of like big contrasting because he obviously is the fire. Of course. It's great. When they reveal him through shadow in the opening scene. That in that which is just a fantastic like face reveal of the character.

The SWAMP (27:57.358)
Yeah, that was so hot. And then when he gets to Marion's bar, that like the shadow that is you can just see that one too. iconic, the hat. That is what part of like an iconic character is the silhouette. And that is like, that's what it is. Yeah, I guess I never would have thought of that. Yeah. A lot of really just smart and good filmmaking. It's like.

why Spielberg is the goat, you know? Of course. He just, he does nail it. You guessed it. He nails it.

The SWAMP (28:33.838)
Welcome to our sing-along portion of the show where we do acapella renditions of your favorite John Williams themes. The choral instructor will be my mother, Jen. Just kidding.

Quizmaster or question distributor, chocolate vanilla creator. Jen is here to ask us, she's just going to say two things. We're all going to say which one we like better. That's the game. Jen, how are you today? And is there a theme this week? I am fantastic and no theme off the dome for Emily. Let's go. Hell yeah. So to establish answer in order, Jen will ask the question.

Me, Dara, I will answer, then Emily, then Ryan, then Jen, then we'll circle back. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Vanilla. Taking vanilla this week. I'll go chocolate. A 50-50 split. We rarely get vanilla takers. I never get this back up. Thank you, Ryan. Ryan, do you listen to the pod and play along with chocolate? Do you play along with chocolate or vanilla? I've never considered playing along. I probably shouldn't. In your mind? Yeah, play along at home.

Or at least in your mind, you know, what do you like better? know I'd be I'd be yelling in my car. I'd be like, what are you bitches talking about? No, for real. I have bad opinions. I'll stand on that. Yeah. Right. And if you think that we have a take that you think is absurd, I want to hear you argue. All right. Chocolate, vanilla or strawberry chocolate. I'm going to stick vanilla, think, today. Strawberry.

Ooh, I'm go strawberry too. Okay, first one. You get a giant Lego kit. You're gonna do the Eiffel Tower or the Death Star? I have no respect for the nation of France, so I will be picking the Death Star. I've never, do they have a big Death Star Lego? They do. Is it like a thousand dollars? It is. I think the most recent one they put out was 400. Yeah. It is.

The SWAMP (30:42.158)
This is funny because Ryan, I remember, saved up his money from his birth communion as a child to afford to buy himself the LEGO Death Star. Yep, and I did just that. And it's still sitting in the house. Oh my god, that's amazing. I did the Millennium Falcon, which was a big one. It was like, you know, the whatever thousand piece set. But I know that the Death Star one is even bigger.

I really like the Death Star one, but I personally love the symmetry that comes with the big Lego structures, like the buildings that they have, or the architecture, I guess, one. So I'm going to go Eiffel Tower on this. I'm going Death Star. I've done it before. I'll go again. Jen? Death Star for me, for sure. Ryan, do you think it's a hack to get the ones that look like paintings where you just push the mosaics on instead of building it?

That is not a me question. That is an Alyssa question, because Alyssa's done those before. don't know. Like, do you think that counts? I guess it counts. just, I think it would be less fun. Part of LEGO is working in the 3D space, you know? If you're just doing it flat, then it's like one of those diamond paintings or something. Exactly. It's just, you know, different energy. Agreed. Pringles, ruffles, or lace? Ruffles. Ooh, I need my chip to have some texture. I want it to slice up the roof of my mouth. Yeah.

think I'm gonna go Lay's on this one because they have more variety, I suppose. You can get the wavy or you can get the flat ones. So I'll go Lay's. Ruffles has flavors though. They do. You can get sour cream and onion ruffles. You can get barbecue ruffles. Wait, are the ruffles? And they're a heartier chip. Wait, are those the ruffles over there that you literally have sitting No, those are uts. yeah, uts. See that's...

Yeah, those are local ruffles. That's an Wachoo's it. love, Wachoo's it. my sandwich? Fuck me up. I'm still gonna go Lay's though, I think. What about you? I think I'm also gonna go Lay's. Like a Lay's, I don't know if kettle cooked counts, but Lay's kettle cooked salt and vinegar drives me insane. Talk about slice up the roof of your mouth. Yeah, really.

The SWAMP (33:00.52)
and burn. Mm hmm. I am unfortunately a salt and vinegar girlie. I am not sorry. Someone's got to be. Exactly. I'm going to go Lays. And I'm with you. I like a salt and vinegar chip, but I don't love it all the time. I only like it sometimes. it's a special occasion chip. Yeah, yes. Unicorns or narwhals? Unicorns aren't real. Salt pig narwhals because they are real. I'm pretty sure they're endangered. thought narwhals weren't real either.

What are you talking about? We thought they were made up. No? No, narwhals aren't real. What do those actually look like? Google a narwhal and it'll be an actual National Geographic official photo. They're like whales, but they've got the horn. Oh, yeah, they are pretty impressive. they're cool as fuck. Yeah, I'll go narwhal on this one. They are really cool. When they kill something and it's all bloody too, very cool. The ocean, dope as fuck. Terrifying. It's just metal.

Metal as hell. I'm going to take narwhals as well. Dang. Well, now I'm going to take narwhal because I just realized it's a real animal. I thought it was just stuffed animal made up. Next one. Man bun, dad joke or mom jeans? Mom jeans. Mom jeans for sure. I love a mom jean. I love an adjustable waistband in my jeans. A man bun.

It's fine, but don't self-identify as that please. also do love a dad joke, but it does need to come from the right place. Sometimes you can tell that a dad joke is coming from a forced place of awkwardness where it should just roll off. You know, it should be easy. And if you don't inherently have that kind of dad energy, then don't even try. this is tough.

I'm feeling pretty partial to the man bun today because I'm growing my hair pretty long at the moment and it's in the middle of summer. So I'm reaching that like tiny little man bun territory. I was gonna say, can you get it off the back of your Barely, barely. That's all you need. Yeah, but I am also partial to mom jeans. So I'm gonna stick with her today. She's trying to true. I do appreciate a good dad joke.

The SWAMP (35:19.776)
I don't really understand the concept of mom jeans simply because I think I'm just a man. Yeah, that's fair. I am also in the process of growing my hair out. I would like to eventually maybe try a man bun at some point. Really? You would commit to the length? Maybe doing like a Geralt kind of vibe. little half pony. I don't know if that counts, but maybe.

You have to be carrying a sword, but I think you do that often enough. Yeah. Long hair does. I'll go man bun. Yeah. Nice. I want to go with dad joke as told by Jesse on spring baking championship. What's the joke? He's always telling dad jokes. I thought you had one for us though. He's like a former football player who now hosts this baking show that my mom and I watch around the holidays. The spring one is less good than the

I love the holiday one, because that's when I want to watch people be like making cookies and stuff. Wait, Jesse? Jesse Palmer. He was the bachelor at one point, that I remember more than his football career. I vaguely remember hearing him about him being the bachelor. He's my favorite dad joke teller. He got it. Next one, is Harrison Ford or Sean Connery? Harrison Ford.

Sean Connery was Bond, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't really have any relationship with James Bond or Sean Connery really at all, I don't think. plays Harrison. He plays Indiana Jones' dad. Yeah, in the next one. Yeah, you'll see him. I think really that much of an age difference between those two men. No, that's the funny thing. Yeah. I'll go Harrison Ford even though I recently watched Blade Runner and really fucking hated him. Ugh, that's just a bad-

I almost don't put that on Harrison Ford because he also seemed like he didn't want to be there and I was like I don't blame you this fucking sucks Yeah, I'll go Harrison. I'll go Harrison Ford because I don't know Sean Connery is Sean Connery. That's that's all I got. It's I don't I don't even I have no ill will against the man, but like Harrison Ford is my Indiana Jones. So oh wait, you know what I do fuck with Highlander Sean Connery is in Iran Sean Connery is also in

The SWAMP (37:40.698)
There's a weird movie I kind of enjoy. It's Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery. It's the rock. Yeah, the Alcatraz movie. It's wicked good. god, they break out of the prison? Yes, I love that movie. And they have like, well, have to, there's terrorists on Alcatraz and we have to go stop them from putting some poison in the air for killing San Francisco. I'm dead serious. That's, they have to break into Alcatraz. All right.

It's Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage. It's a ridiculous movie. And it's Michael Bay directing. It's so ridiculous. It's ridiculous movie. the gas in these little clean floors. Like gel capsules. Yeah. Oh, that's fucking ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. Okay. For that, I will pick Sean Connery also. Shouts out the Rock. I think you should do like jail theme maybe for a month.

Jail month? Maybe. I'd have to, we'd have to, we'd have done Shawshank, which is like the jail movie. Jail January. Jail January. no. When we get sent to jail for inevitably saying something too problematic on this. the government AI finally scrapes our transcripts and throws us away, then we'll do jail month from the jail. From the looney bin they throw us in.

my God, we were just taking a quick break and Emily laughed and Ryan called her the Pillsbury Doughboy and I wasn't quite sure what this meant. So for all those at home, here's the Pillsbury Doughboy laughing.

Did you get that?

The SWAMP (39:29.979)
Yeah, I know I'm not gonna be able to do it on you. You do make that noise a lot.

Yeah, unfortunately, my co-workers have told me that I make that sound. So, Brian really just brought it home with us. That is sending me. Anyways, but I got kicked out when we were talking about Queer Ultimatum. I just finished Queer Ultimatum. Have you finished it? No way. Jen, I haven't finished it yet, but they just got back together with their old partners. They just switched? Okay.

I swear to God, if Meghan stays with Dana instead of going with Haley, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. You think they should go with the new person? Yes, Dana is insane. One of the most scary and manipulative people I've ever seen on TV. Well, I can imagine that anyone who would sign up for that show is probably deranged. Absolutely, you're cracked if you do that, but Jen's face is scaring me.

I'm trying to do the no face thing because I need to talk to you after you finish it. Okay, yeah, I'm really, I'm really, I started watching it and I was really skeptical about most of them, but Megan has won me over and has had so much growth. And if she backtracks, I'm gonna flip out because I have loved her arc. Yeah, I'm definitely not gonna say anything, but I need to talk to you afterwards. Okay, okay.

Next one, Charmander, Pikachu or Jigglypuff? Charmander. If we're picking, like if we're doing battles, who do I want on my team? I want Charmander out of those three. Yeah, I think I'm also going to go Charmander on this. I'm also going to go Charmander on this. I'm going to go Jigglypuff. Yeah, I knew that one was coming. Shout out Jigglypuff. Next one, horror movie or rom-com? Horror movie. don't, I, I...

The SWAMP (41:33.262)
Generally, I'm skeptical about both genres, but I would pick a horror over a rom-com. Yeah, I'm more impressed by horror, think. Yeah, agree. Yeah, even if it's bad horror over a bad rom-com.

I just saw 28 years later and there was an elderly couple and they're sitting in same row as me and they left like 10 minutes in. I honestly throughout the rest of the movie, I was like, it's a good thing they left. I'm like, if they didn't like the beginning, I'm like, honestly, good call for All these zombie wings are going to be too much. Yeah. For Miriam over here.

I like, really like, nope, I think I'm gonna go horror. I don't like horror movies at all. But I feel like I could sit through a horror movie easier than I could sit through a rom-com. Yeah, for sure. Without like looking at my phone or something, for sure. I know, cause if it's like a rom-com where there's any sort of secondhand embarrassment, take me out with a sniper, please. Oh, yeah. I cannot stand secondhand embarrassment. That's why I don't watch The Office.

I'm gonna go with rom-com, you knew I was. Next one is original Doritos or Cool Ranch Doritos? Original is nacho cheese. You're saying red or blue? Red bag, blue bag. I would pick the blue. I would like to the alternate third choice purple. I like the sweet chili. But I think I would go, I like both. Both have their merits, but I would go blue. I'm gonna go red. I'm gonna keep it classic. Nacho cheese.

I think I'm gonna go Cool Ranch, simply because I don't, this barely even count, but they make a Flamin' Hot Cool Ranch that actually is That's on moon, It's really good. Flamin' Cool, that sounds good. It's good. I just like those little blue dots on the chips. It's tis peak, my lord, I fear. I love dippin' a Cool Ranch Dorito in sour cream. Yeah. That's what's up. And that is it.

The SWAMP (43:35.582)
Also,

no, I was going to say that's it for chocolate and vanilla. Jan, as always, thank you for being here. We love you and we'll see you next week. All right. Thanks guys. I love you so much. Bye.

We want to answer some questions. I feel good to the people. Yes. Yes. Thank you for writing in guys. I got a lovely, fuck married kill the giant rock, the gold figure in the whip. I love that. Okay. Okay. I think I want to marry the giant rock. Cause it's going to be like a Sisyphusian thing, but I'm going to be into it, you know? And it's kind of, am I being chased or am I pushing it up the hill or what are we doing? Yeah.

Sisyphus happy. Uh-huh. I'm gonna kill the gold figure, because that's gonna feel really powerful to me. Uh-huh. And I'm gonna fuck the whip, obviously.

Um, I think... I gotta agree with you. Yeah? You get behind that one? I get behind that one. I think I'm gonna go... I think... I think I'm gonna marry the whip because she's got my back no matter what. You know what mean? Yeah, she's gonna get me out of a sticky situation if I need to. Like, if I need her, she's gonna be there for me. And that's why I need a partner. And a little kinky too. And a little kinky too, of course.

The SWAMP (45:26.638)
Um, I'm gonna... You're gonna fuck that boulder? I'm gonna fuck that boulder right there. That is a nice boulder. I like something to grab on to. Wait, I kind of do want to get rolled over by Oh my god, please flat Stanley me. That would feel so good. Flat a bully. Oh my god, well speaking of... Wait, that... Okay, I just figured out my, um...

my archaeological name because that was another question that we had. Yes, this was really good. Like how his name is Indiana Jones, what would your archaeological alias be? This was a great question. We were kind of about this earlier. like Flat Emily, but I really wanted to do like, you need the like two initials or whatever. So I'm going to go F.E. Smith or something like that because that's just like a common last name. So Flat Emily.

sure, you're doing like, okay, I heard Effie Smith is in town. Exactly, yes, yeah, one of those. That's very like, I feel like could be a really classy. Exactly. Like you're not the archeologist, you're like funding the operation. Absolutely. You you frack. But I get to. You use the fracking money to like give back to the community by doing archeological things. That's what I'm getting from Effie Smith. Okay, okay, okay, what about...

Ryan, did you think of one? You were marinating on this I was marinating on this for quite a while. I'm gonna do like, this is gonna sound really generic, but like Edward Clark. Edward Clark. Eddie That sounds like an old school name. It's good to like have a name that people can also do a little nickname if they're friendly with you, cause he's Indiana Jones, but like you can tell that him and Reece Davies are tight cause he's like indie.

Indy my buddy. Okay, so I like if you were like, you know, Edward Clark It's like those who give you the firsty lasty respect But those were like Eddie buddy like then as an audience we would understand your relationship further Yeah, smack yeah, what about you I'm more I get more sidekick energy I think I'm more like who the plus one would be for a little bit until I got ran over by the big boulder

The SWAMP (47:39.15)
But I was thinking recently about like a good drag king persona. Oh, he's a tier. I've been like working on it and it's like quintessential Massachusetts like townie college boy. play that character and his name is Duncan. Oh, Duncan's a great character so like Duncan the Boston guy. Yeah, I think it's like so hilarious. But then also to go by the full name of Dunkachino.

As far as aliases go, think anything is good. I think anything is good that's like the blank, like, you know, the Protestant or like, you the, you know, the title, you know, but people call you, you know, the cobbler. Yeah. Yeah. I would want, yeah. Yeah. Like, like the shoemaker or something really ominous. That sounds very Wes Anderson here. circus master. I don't know. The candy man.

Something. Yeah, I was going to say you sound like you would be on a board game. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I just want to be on Candyland. actually don't want to be an archaeologist. I want to be a character in Candyland. Please don't make me be an archaeologist. Please don't make me go dig out in the sun. Oh my God. Don't make me steal from these communities. Honestly, he robs and he robs the temple of the statue. And all of these indigenous people are weaponed up pointing at him being like, fuck you. And I'm like, they should.

kill him. Absolutely. I agree with them. Yeah, they try. Get his ass. He's quick though. But okay, this is a good question considering that we're both touching on archaeology from both last week and this week. Which would you prefer digging up dinosaur bones or dig or going after like lost treasures from past civilizations? would be your

Or what would be your niche if you had one? I don't know. I think I would like to refurbish old clothes, like costumes. No, like for real, to go and like historically preserve really old garments and stuff. Oh, okay. From like, dicks and Like find, you know. Oh, okay, okay, yeah. I think that would be really cool. Absolutely. Oh my god, yeah. way that- Textiles, you know? I think I'd want to work in textiles. Okay. Rugs, furniture,

The SWAMP (49:52.28)
Detail oriented stuff. Is that like anthropology? that what that is? Anthropology is like the study of... Yeah. So I guess kind of. like anthropological, archaeological. That would be probably more anthropology than archaeology, but if we were digging for it, would be archaeology. What about you, Ryan? I was a dinosaur kid and I am still a dinosaur kid. I'm picking paleontology every single time. Absolutely.

I was really into rocks as a kid, so maybe not archeology, but I would definitely be on that geology wave. I like that shit. I don't want to be outside, actually. I want to be back in the lab doing the refurbishing, like in the lab with the gloves on. Yeah, absolutely. I love watching those videos of them restore old paintings and the really careful restoration process for really old oil paintings and stuff. So cool. I got shaky hands, though.

We also got the good question, what would you write on your eyelids to get your celeb crush's attention? I loved this scene when he was doing his little fake professor moment. He's like, I'm teaching a class. Then a bell rings and they all leave. Was college like that in the fucking thirties? Everyone was like putting an apple on the teacher's desk and waiting for the bell to ring. That's some third grade ass behavior. No truly. But she wrote, she wrote love you on her eyelids and was like giving him the slow blink. Maybe like a

like be afraid or like something kind of like vaguely threatening because then they're like on edge and that's what you want it's like a heightened sense of would i would just draw like one of those like emoti winky faces winky face of the island while i'm wanking at him so it's like double winks i feel what if you just put your number yeah right right or like call me yeah yeah the number is tattooed on the inside of your lip

Yeah, not bad. They say that those are the only tattoos that will truly go away. Is that true? I don't know. Heart's tight. I don't have any. Yeah. I'm afraid of infection. Yeah, and rightfully so. And then this is a non-related question, but somebody asked, what are your hobbies and current interests? Well, this is a really open-ended question to share. I would love Ryan to share, because you have like a really cool hobby. Yeah.

The SWAMP (52:13.954)
I think we've all linked. I'll link your Instagram in the description below if you'd like people to check out your stuff. is very impressive. my God. Ryan does cosplay and he's really fucking good at it. It's enough. So I cosplay. I do a lot of making like I do sewing and you 3D printing and you foam work. I just do you do all of it. I do all of it. Wigs, makeup, makeup.

Dude, you're like all gas on that. All gas, no breaks. Exactly. What are some of your best ones you've done? Best highlights? Yeah. I cosplayed Dracula from Castlevania Symphony of the Night. made that costume for, as like a joke, and then it's now my most popular one. Yeah. It looks great. It took me a month and a half, and I did it, I don't remember making any of it, but I did it, and it looks great.

Yeah, I feel like you are like very much the, not the procrastinator, because you do take on like gigantic works. But I feel like every time you're making something, you're like, this is for tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, I have a week to do this. is two weeks worth of work. In the cosplay community, this term is called con crunching. Okay. It's like, okay, I have two days before the deadline of when I want to wear this or when I leave to go to X, Y and Z.

Can I get this done? And the answer is usually somehow yes. Ryan's made... no, please. Sorry. I have a con coming up in... God. Yeah. Tell the people about your most recent one. Who are you being most... Coming up. two weeks? Coming up. Not less than two weeks. It's 10 days. The next convention I'm going to is Kineticon down in Hartford.

Hell yeah. I'm hosting a Broadway meetup on Friday. I will be the Phantom of the Opera. I love having to do my makeup for that. I love my prosthetic work. It's very fun. Was that sarcasm? No, no, no, no, no, no. I really love doing the prosthetic for Phantom. Spirit gum? Spirit gum. We love spirit gum. I'm trying pros-aid out specifically for the mouth area because spirit gum, when it gets wet,

The SWAMP (54:26.424)
falls off. So you kind tastes like glue. Yes. I remember correctly. It's not a pleasant thing to work with. Phantom on Friday, I might change into another Broadway costume later in the day if it gets too hot, which it probably will. And then on Saturday, I will be Gambit from X-Men and also Soldier from Team Fortress 2. And then probably something else because both of those costumes are very, very toasty. So-

How do you do an outfit change? You just like bring it with you? Yeah. I have a hotel. I have a hotel booked, so... Oh, okay. So you can go back and forth. Okay. That's gonna be a really tough one. Very quick turn around. Could you wear one under the other to like a reveal? That would be kind of a slay. I have... Well, my Phantom cosplay is kind of transforming where I can just take the mask off and you can see the whole...

deformity, which is loving so much. It's such a great. What's your last guy? Last guy is Winter Soldier from the MCU. original top one MCU outfit. It's not up for debate. I'm sorry. Bucky Barnes showed up in Captain America, the Winter Soldier. They told him Drip or Drown and he. And you've been 3D printing the arm, right? Which is so fucking cool. It's inflexible filament, which makes it a little weird to work with. But it.

It's flexible filament. It does what it needs to do. It's so cool. I 3D printing is impressive as fuck. But yeah, Ryan's done some really cool stuff. Ryan and I went as Obi-Wan and Darth Maul to, was it Rhode Island Con last year or something like that? And then we all did, you guys all went as Jojo. We did do Jojo. Yeah, we went to New York Comic Con two years ago. That was a time, wasn't it? Which was, yeah, I have so much respect for people who cosplay because my outfit was like literally

just like pants and like not even difficult to wear, but just I was so uncomfortable all Your hair was wild. I was like, I just like, I was like, hate being in this crowded environment and having all this fucking shit on me. And then I just look around and I'm like, everyone else also has shit on them. Like it's crazy, it's fast. I wasn't huge on New York Comic Con simply because there were just entirely too many people there. Yeah. Yeah. It's like.

The SWAMP (56:42.75)
The Javits Center is huge. They managed to fill every single inch of that with people. that was wild. People in costumes as well. Yes. What's your favorite con? I like Connecticut. I'm very excited for next week. Sick. Because it also kind of feels like home turf, you know? Yes, it is home turf. It's the closest one to us. But I went to Katsu Con down in Maryland.

Back in February a fantastic time because you just go and it's it's your weekend to just pull out all the stops This is where people bring their their big shit part just that that's where people bust out like the showstoppers the big guys the Things that will make you go Holy shit someone made that like costume wise. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. These people are crafty. It's truly

Impressive. Also, sewing is so hard. Yes. That shit is so impressive, not only to be able to like wear, make a wearable garment, but like to make one that is then emulating a character or costume as accurately as possible. Always a fan to see all the cool shit that you make and other people who do this kind of stuff. Yeah, also the foam too and the weapons, know, 3D printing the weapons and stuff.

those are so cool. I loved being Ripley and... need to- I need to...

Reprint your flame thrower so you can actually attach it to the yeah that was sick That was really good. I don't know someone was up with the printer I was using at the time to print the the flame for rates like I think my I put my in cello like two weeks So just all fell apart. Yeah, but yeah Should we that's the Ryan plug? Wait, you need to answer. What are what's your current hobbies and interests? my current hobbies and interests. Yes. Yes. I Loves a garden in the summer. That's my whole thing

The SWAMP (58:36.016)
I've got a little, I'm very lucky to have a little patio space and I've got like a whole big garden going up at like three different kinds of pep, four different kinds of peppers and zucchini and tomatoes and cucumbers. And I cook a lot and... And you make a lot of like jams and stuff? you use a lot of your garden stuff to like cook and make stuff too. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.

Yeah, I just think it's really fun to play with and also really cool to use what you have. I feel like it forces you to be a little creative with your dishes. But yeah, that's kind of me. I'm really trying to get back into drumming sometime in the near future just because it's something I used to love doing and I feel like it's just a good way to tune out and feel like sometimes you just need that. I play Dungeons and Dragons. Hell yeah!

Yeah, how's your campaign going? It's going pretty good. I'm a vampire. Yeah, speaking of vampires. I'm the bad vampire. It's a, you know, big bad and they're stuck in this vampire's like dominion and they're trying to get out and we're having a lot of fun with it. We're like nearing up what I would say would be the end of the first act if it were to be like a full story. I've also been playing Baldur's Gate, the game on the computer, which has really been itching my brain lately. I'm not usually a huge gamer, but

My D &D hyperfixation has sort of turned me into a gamer in this way. Fuck yeah, that's sick. And then last question was from your sister who said, there an alternate reality where Marion is still Katie from Animal House? Um... I don't know what that means, so this is on you guys. Yeah, Ryan, do you know what this means? I can answer this. You answer. I am watching it. Wow, that's a long...

Yeah, I think so. I think Marion went to school and then ended up back in Nepal. I think there is some sort of... It's the same universe. Yeah, I think it could be the same universe. There's space for it to explore that. But it would need to be specific with the timeline, I guess, considering this movie. But yeah, I think so. Just maybe. They seem like they've got the same aura. I need to open myself up, I think, to things that I have sworn off comedically. For a really long time, I was like...

The SWAMP (01:00:52.77)
Adam Sandler's a no from me. Agreed. then, mean, Uncut Gems comes around and I'm like, maybe I have some respect for this man. And then I'm like, maybe should I go back? And maybe was there something that as an adult, you know, I'll get more like some sort of layer of irony or something, you know?

going on that journey yet but of course I basically also have sworn off national national lampoons I don't think that's I don't like care for it well and Monty Python yeah I really couldn't just haven't I don't get it but but I don't know maybe maybe I can try again but then pretty recently I was really shitting on Will Smith

No, not Will Smith Will Ferrell Will Ferrell. Okay. Yeah, what'd you change your mind? I on Will Ferrell and not that it necessarily changed my mind But somebody recommended that I watched the movie The Other Guys Which is starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, you texted me about this. I was like, there's no way I'm gonna like this and they were like no no Just trust me. You're gonna like it. Okay, and I did like it. Shit.

I did like it. The fact that you liked it with Mark Wahlberg is the more shocking Will Ferrell is not funny. Mark Wahlberg is not funny, but it is a funny movie. Damn. Yeah. Okay. They really utilized those two guys and kind of made fun of them and let them make fun of themselves. What's the premise? They're like two idiot cops, two idiot buddy cops who are incompetent, who are trying to solve this crime. Yeah, I can't see that, actually. Yeah, it was very funny. It also made by Adam McKay, who made like Vice.

and the big shore, and so it was also very insightful and punchy as well as just also being kind of stupid and silly. Well, all right. Hey, maybe it is good for you. What's the over under on how many movies Mark Wahlberg plays a cop in? my god. I'm gonna say over seven at least. Over seven? Yeah. I was gonna say over five.

The SWAMP (01:02:48.178)
I would even take 10 plus. Really? He's in a lot of movies. I feel like there are also movies where his character isn't explicitly a cop, but is a cop. Like those Transformer movies that he's in, He's probably also a cop or something. Just the situation. The circumstances are not cop-forward, but they're like, and he's Mark Wahlberg, so he's a cop. I feel that in my soul. Absolutely. Fuck Mark Wahlberg. That's what I have to say. Yeah, Mark Wahlberg. He's shit.

A-Cab Include Mark Wahlberg. And then wait, last question, one just came in, not to be a nerdist, but is there a Swamp Letterboxd account? We don't have one for the Swamp, but we have our own. Please follow me. It's in the description below. I was actually looking at how many followers I have on Letterboxd the other day and it was kind of freaking me out. You're like, wow, people see this. Because I think I'm just yelling into the void and maybe I'm not.

So, but yeah, check out our letterbox. I try to be diligent about logging every movie I watch. Some people joke that they could tell what movies we're going to cover because we'll both review it on letterbox. It's like, wonder what the swan's doing this week. Yeah, no, I'm very on top of my letterbox. I review religiously.

Regularly scheduled so fuck Mary kill I feel like Indiana Jones Marion and then do we want the third one to be? What's Gimli's name? Sala? Sala? Absolutely. I feel like we can't include like a Nazi in there because obviously like that's not going anywhere Okay, I'm gonna marry Sala. Of course. I think that's the right answer. I'm gonna fuck Indiana Jones. I'm gonna kill Marion. Yeah, Marion was actually

actually rather useless in this. think she comes around in the future again, in terms of the franchise. Do they her have agency? Because they didn't a ton in this. No. They're like, oh, she gets a frying pan because she's a woman. and Deanna Jones just throws her away from the violence in every situation. Yeah, I wish this one had more of a Laura Dern in Jurassic Park. They made Marion really helpless. Didn't It's worse. It's really worse in template.

The SWAMP (01:04:54.188)
Temple of Doom is worse in this regard. I do remember that. But... There always needs to be a woman for Indiana Jones to save, obviously. I'm not gonna fuck Indiana Jones, because he did treat her actually incredibly poorly. I think I'm gonna kill him, because that was very... If my situationship, first of all, fucked me over once, that's bad enough. If my situationship left me with Nazis...

To be murdered? No forgiveness. Yeah, no, I'm good on that. Dead. I'll fuck Marion and I'll marry Sala. I'm going to have to agree with Emily. If my situation showed up 10 years later and said sorry. He didn't even say sorry. then burned my business to the ground. I would be pissed. But Harrison Ford, really sweaty in this. And once and sexy. I wanted to smell him. 40-day movie experience, you get to smell Harrison Ford. We get a really sweaty guy.

to stand behind the screen and then we put like fans, everyone gets to like get sprayed. Just sweaty and leathery. Yeah, unfortunately Marion is my type though, so. I will say. Her in that dress and they ripped the bottom off. Yeah. It was not. Sorry that really hurt for me. was giving her a hard Someone that goes to a lot of conventions. Maybe that 4D was sweat. He's like you might want to rethink that actually.

I don't know I can get behind that one. Maybe just a little fleck of water then. Yeah. the simulation. It can actually just pheromones. Is that legal? I don't think so. I know. I definitely have a scent from Boy Smells that says it has pheromones in it, whatever that means. Maybe, yeah, someone just sweat into a jug like Jackass or something. Oh my God.

You're hosting a Halloween party at Indiana Jones. It could be a Halloween party. yeah. I don't see why not. That's like a very good low effort boy costume. It's too low effort. Yeah, absolutely. I would say though, if you don't nail the hat, if the hat looks bad, and if it's not the right kind of hat, then you're gonna lose me. And if you're going without a whip, the rest of your outfit better be fucking bang on. That's what I'll have to say. True.

The SWAMP (01:07:16.462)
True, true, true. You can very much, very much half-ass Indiana Jones. And still pull it And you'll still be Indiana Jones, but you won't be like Indiana Jones. Well, no one looks like Harrison Ford. Oh, a hundred percent. No, no, no, no, no. Except for that one guy they cast in the solo movie, he does kind of look like Harrison Ford. It's the jawline. It's like you cut glass on that thing. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. He also has normal teeth, and no one has normal teeth anymore. Yeah.

Also true. It's crazy. I saw all of the David Corrin sweat is so hot Superman promotion material. is like king of no veneers, anti-veneer king, but he has like beautiful straight teeth. they're not veneers, they're gorgeous normal teeth. And I'm like, they aren't veneers. We can applaud that, but like.

Also people can have not perfect teeth and we can still have that. Yeah. can still be hot. Yeah, exactly. It's really okay. But I do appreciate the anti-veneer sentiment, but I just wasn't sure this was the example we should be using. I need to be that, but he is really hot. is so Oh, wait. I want to hear your take. Have you seen the Nicholas Holt with the blonde? I love it. Love it? I love it. And I typically don't like a blonde man. I know.

It's working for me. It's giving Ryan Gosling blonde. Yeah. I'm behind him. I'm glad he's having his moment. I love me some Ryan Gosling. I am a Ryan Gosling apologist. I am a Ryan Ren. I don't know. He just put out this... He's in this new one... I don't know. It's with Sandra Holler or whatever.

He's like, they have to him in his, it looks weird. you know I'm talking about? Yeah, Project Hero, Project Hero. Yes, yes, That's really, really popular book. I wanna read, it gives me like Mickey Seven vibes in the same way that I'm really gonna wanna read the book before I see the movie. I'm intrigued. are brave about the book. People whose opinion I really trust, Shay, it's a very good book, yeah. All right.

The SWAMP (01:09:18.542)
Okay, okay. All right, has Jen read it? No. But that'll be one if I ask her to, we'll book club it before we see the movie. the trailers for that one just came out, I don't think it'll be out for a little while. You'll have to let me know. But Project Tail Mary, what movie trailer did I just see? I saw like a weird, I don't know if it's real or not, but a weird like, like really preview, like of a preview for the Odyssey or something like that. I one image of.

I saw one Amy Giotto... yeah, that's all I saw. Having like a two sentence conversation and then it's like a shot of Matt Damon and like it's like coming 2026. I was gonna say that's crazy because aren't they like actively filming? it's yeah it's very like snippet but... That is what I'm excited for. Me too. I feel like I'm gonna get back into like my Greek mythology era. Yes.

Once that starts popping off, I'm gonna maybe hyper fixate a little bit. confirm who's doing the score? Is it Hans Zimmer doing the score? for an old So excited. Shouts out to Hans Zimmer. No, real. Hans Zimmer recently posted a pro-Palestine. He also did delete it, so I wonder what that was about. Really? Do you think someone behind the scenes like said something? Absolutely. Absolutely. Someone yelled at him. Absolutely. Went down a first, second. my god. Okay, maybe no shouts out for him taking it down, but certainly shouts out for him saying something in the first place because

Too many celebrities are not saying anything, which is a really not cute look. Speaking of movies and celebrities speaking out. I would have guessed it would have been Ludwig Gronson, the Center's guy. just did Oppenheimer. So I would have guessed that Nolan would use him again, but could also be Zimmer. For an honesty, I could see it being Zimmer. But speaking of movies and speaking of people speaking up and using their platform, I really want to watch the kneecap movie.

there's a movie? Yes! Well, that's how I first heard of them, is last year they released a movie. I think it's like pseudo documentaries. Not documentary, but it's essentially like kind of their story, I guess? I don't know. I haven't watched it, but it seems really sick. And just anyone that hasn't listened to Necap or Bob Villain or like...

The SWAMP (01:11:32.256)
idols or a in the sniffers. Like let's get specifically kneecap and Bob Villain. Let's get numbers up because they're getting dropped by their labels. They're getting denied entry into countries. It's fucking bullshit. I forget who said this, but somebody said it very poignantly that like the news line should not be about Glastonbury. The news is in Glastonbury. The story is Palestine. think that's what he said. It's a ruse. Yeah. All this is a fucking ruse and it's bullshit.

and celebrities shouldn't be getting punished. It's insane. For speaking their opinions. Yeah. Yeah. Which this movie, couldn't, I don't know if Spielberg was just being really historically accurate because Israel didn't exist before 1950, whatever. Yeah, real. But she was not present in this movie. No, we got a little Palestine flag marker on the map, was, yeah, again, historically accurate. Exactly. But yeah, who's to say? But anyways, you're posting.

your watch party for this movie. What are you serving? I think you do like a date and cheese board. Yeah. Dates. You gotta have the dates. They're dates. You eat them. I love that line too. Like you just like want to have a date or something. Yeah. His delivery of the, eat them is a very. It felt like out of character. It felt a little Han Solo-ish, a little bit baby.

Sure. But, but. You do like a a date and cheese board. You don't know, I don't drink wine, but like I feel like you could do like a very classy. Yeah. Like everyone shows up in their end of movie suits. That double breasted like so such a good look for both both Indian Marion in that final scene. Yes, yes. But I think you do someone like that.

There was this restaurant near us that used to have these goat cheese stuffed dates. So I feel like that would be so, you know, with like a hot honey drizzle. I don't even really, I don't like raisins. I don't really fuck with dates, but you know, put enough cheese on anything and I'm on board. But you said, so you're not a wine drinker, but you are a root beer drinker. you-

The SWAMP (01:13:46.062)
You made the incredible point. is a root beer movie. Yes. I have no, I don't know how to describe it, but Indiana Jones as a franchise is a root beer film. It's giving root beer. giving root beer. Yeah. We were going through trying to assign other sodas to other Spielberg movies. Like what did we say? Like E.T.'s kind of giving Sprite. like Sprite or like orange soda somewhere in that. Jaws is like lemonade. Jaws More like barks iced tea. Like an iced tea.

And then what did we say was Coke? I think we said Schindler's List. No. No, no, Oh, Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park is giving Coke. Jurassic Park is giving Coke. It's even giving like diet Coke. Coke. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's hard to not just say you should have like, you know, wings and beer. Yeah, I just think boy all month. I think we're going to be eating like boy snacks, you know.

But I would also say if you can find Egyptian food, they are in Egypt for most of this movie. The Egyptian food fucking slaps. So, yeah, there's a place around you that does any sort of, you know, Middle Eastern food you could find, but specifically Egyptian food is very good. Yeah, get a tabbouleh, something like that. agree. I think that's definitely the move for it. But yeah.

I think for now, you mentioned sweet tea and I think a spiked sweet tea sounds really nice for Yeah, refreshing. Especially like they're in the sun for 90 % of this movie. Yeah. You want a sweet tea, man. Yeah, with some lemon. Yeah, like,

Something like that. Have you ever made sun tea? No. It's like when you put a bunch of tea bags and stuff out in the sun, but it like makes it seep more or something. Oh, that sounds so sexy. Sun tea, then you ice it at the end, know, something. I like that. That's really earthy crunchy. I can get behind that. And then I mean, do you follow this up with anything other than more Indiana Jones? Yes. you have to go...

The SWAMP (01:15:51.278)
Um, you got to follow us up with Last Crusade or Temple of Doom, sure. Last Crusade. My, if you want to stay with Harrison Ford, my pick for follow up, uh, is the fugitive. Okay. I've never seen it. What's it about? Oh, it's, I, I have to remember my, I think it's a cop gets framed for, for killing his wife. And he's the cop? And he's the cop. All right.

And he's a fugitive, so he goes on the run. On the lamb. I love it when they go on the

That also be a good follow-up, Thelma and Louise or something like that. I like that. My Dark Horse. My very, very Dark Horse pick for when you follow this up with. Sure. I'll take Inglorious Bastards. yeah. You knew the anti-Nazi, anti-art thief movies. Yeah. That's a good pick, actually. That would be a good one. Yeah. I like your style. Shout out BJ Novak. He's in that movie. I always forget.

Jump scare, BJ Novak in Inglorious Vaskards. My tune, I immediately was like snakes on a plane, duh. Indiana Jones hates snakes and he sees one on a plane, on a plane. But that's not actually a movie I would want to watch. So National Treasure, just another action adventure movie. Same sort of sentiment, same, you we're discovering, we're learning about history. We're maybe stealing. That one's more like stealing from America, so I care less, you know? Like you take that declaration of independence, Nicholas Cage.

And that's probably like my, you know, action adventure movie I've seen a thousand times. I think I'm going to go ahead and say sort of in that vein of early two thousands, I'm going to go ahead and say Journey to the Sound of the Earth. Oh, the Rock? No, Fraser. No, Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutcherson. Josh Hutcherson. Yep. Yep. Yes. I think I haven't watched that since I like saw it when it came out. Yeah. Which checks. Yeah. But yeah, I think that something, something just...

The SWAMP (01:17:51.438)
Do you also add the mummy onto that? Ooh! Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, actually, that's a really good one. Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. And I feel like Rachel Weitz's character in that movie is giving what I wish Marianne had a little bit more in this. Just a little bit more agency. can be the damsel in distress, but you can also be knowledgeable and participate and help.

Not a bumbling idiot. Not just like a woman who's in the way all the time. She did look fantastic though, I will say. Yeah. Those red pants really did it for me. For sure. And that wedding dress too. What do you rate this movie? Out of 10. I'm gonna give it an 8. Solid. I'm gonna go, yeah, I'm gonna go 8 and a half with you. I'm taking a 10. 10. Yeah, this is your movie. This and Last Crusade are my movies. These are my favorite movies of all time.

group them together because they kind of feel right to group together. Absolutely. This is one I could envision myself rewatching a lot too. I'm sure there was a lot of little stuff I missed and even watching with you, you were pointing out a lot of little Star Wars Easter eggs and just little details. know that they put so much thought into this as Spielberg and Lucas often do. Of course. So I'm...

Thank you for giving me an excuse to finally fucking get around to watching some of the good Indiana Jones movies. Thanks for coming on my podcast, Ryan. No problem. I'll do it any time if you ask. I was gonna say, you're very knowledgeable about a good chunk of movies specifically, so we'll have to get you back on for your expertise. I know, I love when people are like, hey, if you ever do this one, get me on there. Yeah, yeah. That's I know it's gonna Yeah, I like having people that call dibs.

But yeah, thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you all for listening. Have a lovely rest of your week in your summer. Try to get out in the sun if you can. Maybe plant something like Emily would or eat something that somebody else planted or something or I don't know, touch grass. It's basically what I'm trying to say. And we love you all. Goodbye and good night.