Jurassic Park

All aboard the S.S. Steven Spielberg Summer, because we're getting Jurassic this week. In addition to bird sequels and velociraptor fights, this week we discuss summer blockbusters, upcoming superhero films, and appropriate workplace emoji etiquette. 

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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.046)
Life finds a way. Was that a good Jeff Goldblum? Not really. Life finds a way. That was really good. Okay, we're going to use that one. Oh, hey, hi, this is The Swamp. It's our podcast and it's an acronym. Stay for some whack ass movie podcasting. Here, my name is Dara. And my name is always Dara. I'm not just here. Do it in places. I'm Dara and I'm here with my lovely co-host, Emily, who you're Emily. At work recently, you're the daytime Emmy.

I'm the daytime Emmy. I'm the daytime Emmy at work. It's my favorite. Shout out my coworker. I won't name names, but shout out, know who you are for giving me that nickname. I, well, I can't even say that because I don't think you have a lot of nicknames in your life. You're stella. No, it's a four letter name. It's easy as fuck. If anything, people try to lengthen mine. They think it's a nickname. They're like, what is that short for? And I'm like, Darlan, bitch. Yeah. Dorito. I don't know.

Yeah, I'm the daytime Emmy and I'm proud to be it. And we do a theme every month here. We'll pick a theme. We cover movies based on that theme. We just talk about them. We shoot the shit. If you're new here, hey, hi, what's up? We're going to have a Spielberg summer. We were thinking that it was just going to do like summer blockbusters, then we made our July. We made our pitch list and we're like, these are all Steven Spielberg movies.

does own the genre. He's the king. He's the king of the blockbuster. I mean, I dare say he he nearly invented the blockbuster with Jaws. He is the goat. wrote Jurassic Park 1993, directed by Goat Steven Spielberg. Well, yes, of course. Goated for this one. He's been goated since E.T. Yeah, well, he's been goated since Jaws. Since Jaws. Yeah. So here's the thing, though, is that

You hadn't seen this before, which was wild. There's actually a lot of Spielberg's I have not seen and there's like some weird deep cuts that I have that just like don't check. Well, like the Fablemen's. So not to... Okay, well here's not to talk about the Fablemen's too much, but I didn't like that movie when I saw it. I'm sure. And now I think about it so deeply every time I watch a Spielberg movie. Now I'm watching Jaws and I'm like, this is about the divorce.

The SWAMP (02:20.598)
Like literally the Fablements I did not like and maybe has like stuck with me more than any movie from that like Oscar cycle. Maybe I'd have to relook. I saw it for the Oscars and I was like, this is stupid. I thought Paul Dano was going to really kill it and he was good, but I just didn't really, I was like, I don't need a biography about Steven Spielberg, but now I'm like, maybe I do because now I'm watching Indiana Jones for the first time. And I'm like, wait, I know who that is supposed to be.

So that's what I'm saying. we have to have a school group summer. ever seen Indiana Jones? I've seen the one where he rips the heart out of the chest, but I was like 10. Oh my god, it's the worst one! That's what, yeah, right, so we're gonna cover some holes, but hit some high points as well. Kicking off with Jurassic Park. Upsettingly, I have only seen, I think it was like the 2015, the first reboot with Chris Pratt. Yeah. With Chris Pratt and-

Bryce Dallas Howard. Awful. And now I believe they're on the third installation of that reboot. there's three original. There are three original Jurassic Park movies. This a sequel called Jurassic World, think. And then Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 3. And then they rebooted it again and they did Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Jurassic World, World Dominion.

and Jurassic Park, whatever this new one, this is the third one that they're on. I am not shitting you. Did they do three with Chris Pratt? I feel like this is a new one. feel like this is like a new- this is the fourth? I think this is, okay, I think this would be the third trilogy. So it's like the original three, which are, I would hardly call that a trilogy in itself, but did Chris Pratt do two or did he do three?

I think he did. Wait, let me let me Google how many Jurassic Park. How many? Six. OK, so this one coming out is the sixth, whether it's in relation to the other two crit crap ones, I couldn't tell you because I'm certainly not going to go see it. But we thought it would be of timely. he so OK, yes, there is six. OK, currently the seven with the new one, Jurassic World Rebirth.

The SWAMP (04:39.298)
We'll be number seven. That's crazy. First fact out Jonathan Bailey. I love Jonathan Bailey. See, I'm not mad about this because he's in it. I want my boy to have his blockbuster moment. know he, we sort of already- He's having it. What do you mean, Wicked did fine for itself? Jonathan Bailey doesn't need anything right now. He doesn't need anything. You're right. But he's a big star. He's a big star and I want that for him.

I am really proud of him. I have actually been a fan for a really long time. He was in this Netflix TV series called Broadchurch that came out in like 2015, I want to say. with Olivia Coleman and the Doctor from Doctor Who. And it was like a crime series and he plays a reporter. he's just, he's very talented. We all love Bridgerton. Shouts out to Jonathan Bailey. But like I said, I will not be watching the new Jurassic Park movies because they have lost their way.

so deeply and having seen the Chris Pratt ones and just like being somewhat familiar with what they're doing with the franchise and then rewinding and watching this first film, I am flabbergasted with how far they have lost the plot here. this would not be a hard thing to continue. And it pisses me the fuck off that they lost sight of what the message of the first movie is. yeah.

If they even made a second movie to begin with, it's bad enough. Well, let me tell you, here's what I think is the only way it could be salvaged. Here's my pitch to Hollywood. Here you go. So in this film, we get these dinosaur experts get called to testify to the legitimacy of Jurassic Park, this theme park built by this kind of kooky millionaire guy. God, what's his name? John Hammond. Yes.

And so he's this rich guy, builds this island, he brings them in, whatever. One of our main, so our two main paleontologists, Laura Dern plays Ellie Statler, who's a paleobotanist, so she's actually really more on the plant side of things. And Alan Grant, who is the dinosaur guy, dino expert, we're bringing him in. And then Jeff Goldblum is a math guy, but he's like actually really more into chaos. it's like, okay, shut the fuck up.

The SWAMP (07:05.314)
Well, no, because here's the thing is he it worked on me. It works on me. Yeah. No, if he did the water drip things on my hands. Yeah, girl. Yeah. Take my top off. But where I'm coming to with this is that the way you progress is you lock in with what Dr. Alan Grant was saying this whole fucking time, which was that they were not lizards. They were birds.

And we now know in for every time the sequels have come out, we've known more and more about dinosaurs, dude, and we know they were birds. So you do it so that you just make the same movie again. instead of replicating the DNA sequence with frogs, you do it with a chicken. And now we have Jurassic Park bird mode. This is what you're pitching as a new movie. Yes.

Okay. design, everything. And maybe they're on a cruise ship instead of island, you know? What kind of other attraction could we be doing? Maybe they're doing dinner theater. Of course. Do you... What was even the plot of the Chris Pratt one is they actually made the Jurassic Park and it was like a thing. open. And now the park is open. it's like the corrupt billionaires got their way and they opened the park, but now the dinosaurs are loose and there's the public as well.

Good God. it's all very much this man versus dinosaur, and it's always every time the bigger dinosaur comes in and eats the dinosaur that's trying to attack you. They did it in this first movie, and they needed to fucking lose it after that. You're running from the velociraptor, and then the T-Rex chomps the velociraptor. Okay, done. We did it once. They do it every time, and it pisses me off. And it's always man versus dinosaur.

No, which is that's what I'm saying that they sort of have lost the core of what this first movie is because they're always doing Chris Pratt has to fight off more dinosaurs, more dinosaurs. It's not man versus dinosaur. It's man versus the hubris of thinking that man can control nature. Well, it's the whole that's the whole they literally spell it out for you. Right. So that's like why that great line.

The SWAMP (09:23.374)
of like, your scientists were so preoccupied trying to figure out if they could, that they didn't stop to think about if they should. And that's the whole movie. And I just think that that is lost in these new ones. I can't speak on them too vigorously because I really I've only saw that Chris Pratt one when it came out in the theaters. And I remember being like, this sucked. I'm not seeing more of these. I will say I the only thing that interests me in this new one

Do you know anything about the new one and the plot? Not other than the cast. It's essentially that, and I just watched the trailer right before we came on to do this. It's essentially that you have the one island that Jurassic Park happened on, and there was another research island that all the dinosaurs that were too dangerous for the original island, they left there. And now...

There's some sort of thing that like they could cure diseases with this dinosaur DNA. So they have to go get it from this insanely dangerous island. And Jonathan Bailey is like Milo from Atlantis. So, okay. Sorry. You're going to have to say that again. I was too busy trying to find an ice pick to lobotomize myself with. That sounds awful. That sounds awful.

Also, we get rolling it back to Jurassic Park, your immediate thought is always, why did they even make the dangerous ones? Just make only the chill dinosaurs. Do you think they know? closed. mean, but like, here's the thing is, they pseudoscience this whole thing and they're like, well, we made the dinosaurs by taking the blood from the mosquito that's fossilized in amber.

But how do they, like, in theory, like, taking that blood from that mosquito, you got no idea what kind of dinosaur you're getting there. You know what I mean? But if they were cooking it up, if they're like, throw a little frog in there, throw a little whatever, you don't think that they were like straight up, they were fully just manufacturing these. I don't think that they were, and that's also part of it too, is it wasn't like earnest scientific discovery. It was like, how can we expedite the dinosaur park?

The SWAMP (11:34.636)
Right? And they found the DNA and then they were like, okay, add frog, add, add a little something. Right? I don't believe they were actually finding different strains. I feel like they just used the base model of dinosaur to just genetically build whatever the fuck they wanted. I don't know how that shit works though. I mean, hey, maybe that's why they look like lizards instead of birds.

Okay, but also I'm not going to suggest you do a dinosaur abortion, but you start making one and you're like, oh shoot, baby T-Rex, chop that egg in half. Sorry. Oh, it's a plan eater. Put it in the good pile. You know what I mean? Did you have a favorite dinosaur as a kid? I was never a super science kid. was, I didn't like to be, I feel like science was for kids who liked to be outside and English and history were

for kids who like to be inside. Like generally speaking, you know, and I was an inside kid for the most part. I would say I like the Stegosaurus and the Triceratops as well. The ones that have spines, I think are really cool. Massachusetts, the state we live in, has a state dinosaur that the fossils were discovered here. Which like not every state has a state dinosaur, but.

Yeah, what's our favorite dinosaur? Do you know it? It starts with a D, and it's really long. It's like Diplopopliophimleosaurus or something like that. It's really long. do you have a favorite dinosaur? I did actually, hold on. But my favorite dinosaur... How the fuck do you say it? Dilophosaurus or something like that? was the ones that have like, they look like lizards, like modern day lizards supposedly, but they just have the big fan... Oh my God, you can't see it.

They have like the big fan on their back. Oh, that's kind of cool. So not like I like the ones that have the the cheeks like the one that killed that guy way night in this movie. Like I of like the ones that have like the monitor kind of. Yeah, those are pretty cool. All dinosaurs are pretty dope. I would say I would like more visual representation of the.

The SWAMP (13:39.694)
the feathered, you know, I feel like we are still living in a lizard-based dino world where we need to move forward more with the bird situation. Can I tell you what our state dinosaur is? Yeah. Hodo Chasaurus holiochennis or something like that. And it's known as the swift-footed lizard of Holyoke, officially designated as such in 2012. Which is so funny because anyone...

Anyone from Massachusetts should know that Holyoke is the last place that needs like dinosaur steps or something like that. my God. What you didn't think it was the big chopper from Worcester. No, I'm talking swift footed Holyoke. Okay. But it was a small carnivorous dinosaur that lived during the mid Jurassic period.

Yeah, ooh, and her, the first fossil evidence of it was discovered by Mignon Talbot, a pioneering female paleontologist in 1910. my God, and we're gonna cast Laura Dern to play her in the movie. Of course, well of course. Get her in a bonnet, please. I really liked Laura Dern in this movie. I always liked Laura Dern. Obviously, well I really.

Not that Laura Dern is a baby faced now because she is. But I feel like I interact more with Laura Dern media post 2000s. So when I get some young Laura Dern in my life, I perk up a little bit. She was really young. She was like 24 or 25, I think, when they made this movie, which is crazy to me because I would have picked her, I don't know, maybe like 30. I just I think she doesn't quite look that young. But yeah, super baby faced Laura Dern. Yes.

But I really liked in this movie, usually like a romance or like a side plot or a love triangle will like really set me off. But I actually really liked this dynamic between the three of them because we had this like quietly confident relationship between Laura Dern and Sam Neill, right? Like they were like partners in crime doing their big dig or whatever. But like a life partner.

The SWAMP (15:58.542)
But you immediately kind of know that they're not married, but there does seem to be some life partnership sort of status because we get sort of a conversation about kids and having them or not having them. it's very much established. They do not do any PDA. They don't kiss really ever in this movie.

Do they? They don't hug, they don't touch each other. He's not ever like, this is my wife, the plant lady. Like she is her own entire independent character. Then when Jeff Goldblum comes in, for sure, she's like, you guys can get back on the ride. I'm healing this Triceratops. Let me live out my dream, thank you. She's like, I'm IDing these plants. I'm digging in the dinosaur poop, thank you. Between her and...

Dr. Grant basically she's like, I could see myself maybe liking kids, but you know, Jerry's still out and he's like, not not for me. And then this whole thing is like, I don't know if she's kind of pushing him towards interacting with these children, but there are these two kids. There are these two kids who are also at the function. Why they get to be on like the ground zero testing of this is so problematic. Like because it was their grandfather. No, I know, but that's still fucked.

They're like, we're gonna determine if it's safe. The kids can go. Kids don't go on the OSHA screening, okay? When we're testing Six Flags, they're not like load up with a ride. Yeah, no, grandpa fucked up this weekend. And shame on their parents, honestly. I think whoever.

Whatever parents these kids have, I think they forfeit the right to parent these children now. And now it's up to Laura Dern and Sam Neal. After all that trauma, they're all trauma bonded. So it just makes sense. Give them the kids. Right. They're a family now. This whole time, honestly, I do kind respect no need to introduce two other characters to either just like...

The SWAMP (18:00.462)
kill or not kill or whatever. Like to have their parents be around could have muddied. You know, maybe we would have gotten less screen time from Samuel Jackson, where we would have gotten less screen time from, you one of the other scientist characters who I really liked all of them. So I'm like, we don't need their parents. I loved my, my, my King Poacher, my big, my big game hunter. Yes. though that's inherently problematic. clever girl line too.

I also hate how the Chris Pratt movies have sort of twisted that. It was like this reverence and this respect for this other dinosaur, right? And then you're like getting them at the end and Chris Pratt is rolling around being like, these are my pets. Fuck you. This is blue. this is blue. She's my pet. clever girl. she's like a dog. No, I want Chris Pratt to get eaten by those velociraptors. That's how it's supposed to go. need Chris Pratt to have his stomach.

ripped open and his intestines spill out everywhere. trails. Yes. Yeah. I want them to play with him while he... Sorry, that was about to get too dark actually. yeah. you know who's starting to give me a little Chris Pratt energy? And a lot of people have Rob McElhany. Yes, I knew it. It's not Chris Pratt. It's the name change, Rob Mc.

Rob Hack. I'm like, no, everyone's going to be dead naming you Rob McElhaney. I'm not calling you Rob No, he needs to be shot in the head and put down. Like the way that he, like the Ryan Reynolds symbiosis, I didn't realize they were like friends or whatever. didn't realize that this thing was happening until this whole name change conversation. And I'm like, are you in the sort of like weird, rowy parasitic friendship that your own show for the past?

15 years has been making fun of. Like the Mac Dennis. It's the Mac Dennis relationship, but you're just doing it with Ryan Reynolds. How fucking pathetic. Shout out to Caitlin Olsen though. I love her and I she should leave that man. Literally she put him on blast cause she was like, yeah, I told him not to show our children's faces and he did it anyways. my God. Yeah. yeah. In a documentary.

The SWAMP (20:22.222)
Yeah, not cool. That's not a cute boundary to cross. No, like it's really it's really gross. I mean, both of them are really unsettling to me at this point. They like look like themselves, but not actually. It's uncanny valley for sure. exactly. The uncanny valley of like plastic surgery. It's just but I do love her. So we speak of plastic surgery. I just watched the other day for the first time, Repo, the genetic opera. It's this

corny, corny musical movie from like the early 2000s where they sing like metal music, but it's about in the future when all surgery is too expensive, they start putting it on subsidized payment plans. But if you don't pay off your like heart transfer, they repossess your organs. So it's about like government repossession.

But then everyone, because it becomes this like a financial trap, everyone starts getting plastic surgery because it's like, oh, I can just corner, you know, I can just corner my lip filler. So people start doing crazy shit, but then the repo man comes after you and is like, I'm going to need those 10 milligrams of injections from your lips, snatch them off, you know, interesting concept I think could really be reapplied in like a modern day take. Let's let's reboot repo the genetic up.

bro, I'm here What year was this? Oh, I wanna say like, 08. Oh my God, that's like, we gotta get What's His Name? He does all the gore or the body horror stuff. Oh my God, he just did that one. Cronenberg? Yes, yes, yes. You need Cronenberg to remake that. Right. I don't know if it needs to be a musical this time around necessarily, but that also could be fun. Yeah, but you could get someone really creepy to do the music in the same way that What's His Name did it for Suspiria.

You know, it's its own sort of opera. yeah. Wait, let's get Trent Renzer and Atticus Ross on the fucking repo, the genetic opera reboot. Now we are so far off track from Jurassic Park, but this is what I'm thinking about now. Is that working? think it's a bad thing. What needs to happen is that Sam Neill needs to hang out with these kids, go through some traumatic events, and then maybe he'll think about shooting a load in Laura Dern. my God.

The SWAMP (22:36.878)
Yeah, well, so... You didn't like that transition? You didn't like that? No, I loved it. I somewhat relate to him. I think I'm a little bit better at hiding it, but like when you're just kind of generally not unsettled, but like just not super comfortable around kids. it's like I don't interact with kids a lot. So it's like when I do sometimes I'm like, I forget you're nine. What's what are nine to say to I don't know. It's tough. It's like, but I think this sort of

story of him unfolding basically yeah through like fight or flight trauma response learns to be somewhat endeared to these children. I just actually thought was like a way more interesting use of the character time rather than like him being jealous about Jeff Goldblum hitting on Laura Dern or anything having to do with that situation. I kind of liked that he just went off and did his own little side quest about you becoming a father. First of all

The fact that I'm supposed to, and I don't even know if this was the intention. Am I supposed to hate Jeff Goldblum or think he's a bad guy? I'm nothing but endeared and attracted. No, I think we are supposed to think that he is cool and suave and that we like him. I think that's in his contract always, isn't it? There's got to be an air of like cool jazz guy energy as well. I mean, yeah, he's like in a leather jacket, but I don't think he was supposed to be like douchey or anything because I think the clear

like villain was like the park owner, even he like learns his lesson at the end, even he is like realizes the mistakes he's made. But apparently- that's the thing, apparently they don't because the whole second movie is about Jeff Goldblum filming a documentary about the other dinosaurs that this guy went on to make. The sequels don't exist to me in this canon. I'd like to preserve movie one because I did kind of like that it was like the main villain was able to

change. don't like that Samuel L. Jackson had to die for that. I love his character. The whole side plot about Wayne Knight trying to sneak the dinosaur DNA out of the island and that's the reason why all of the power goes down is because he has to shut down the security system so that he can sneak all the dino DNA off to somebody else who wants to do something with it. But I was like, my guy, you could have

The SWAMP (24:58.87)
not have done this a day when there weren't kids out there. Like, you couldn't have, you couldn't have. Not even on his radar, dog. I could not believe that. He has his side thing. He tries to get the stuff out and then he fails and he dies. So he's sort of like our villain B, I guess. Like he's this other guy we are rooting for. You know, he does the bad thing and then we're rooting for him to fail and he gets murked. He gets murked in his car. And that's.

That's about as violent of a human death that we get alluded to. This movie is very scary and there's a lot of tension, but there's actually not a ton of on-screen gore. No, which is really... I made a note of that as well. They did a fabulous job of scaring the absolute shit out of you without showing you abject gore and violence. I thought it was great. I don't need all the blood and guts. I don't need to see someone ripped in half, put them behind the bushes.

make them scream, show me the big animatronic dinosaur, ripping him up. That's all I use some interesting filmmaking techniques to use light and sound to create tension. Who would have thunk it? Well, exactly. Mr. Steven Spielberg. Let's block our shot in a way that's interesting, right? And that's why that's my man. Yeah, well, even just like, it's already a master class in that from the first opening scene.

with the dinosaur in the cage and they're trying to move it into its enclosure and just the whole, the tasers inside the box lighting up and it's pretty quick cuts, but obviously it's sort of an action scene. You don't see more than a guy waving his arms and screaming, but still I'm spooked. It's a little corny, but we see the cow get lowered.

And then, you know, they claw it back up and it's just like a bunch of demolished straps. that is both like visual humor and also creating that tension. my God, what's that standing right behind you? it's not a dinosaur. It's Jen. With the looming fear of the decisions I'll have to make.

The SWAMP (27:18.486)
with her interim podcast segment, Chocolate or Vanilla, she's going to say two things. We're all just going to say which one we like better. So who it's a holler breaks up the show. Jen, how are you today? And is there a theme this week? I am good. And the theme is kind of things that might be related to summer. Kind of things that might be related to summer. OK, well, it's we are in the swing of summer. We've had a couple of 90 plus degree days where we are with like 100 percent humidity. God.

Everyone loves to complain like their section of the world is the worst like no you guys don't understand England heat no, you don't understand SoCal heat. We get it. We've all been in places when it's hot and it fucking sucks It's not the heat. It's the humidity. It's the humidity I will say though one thing that I learned recently is that like I guess in England They're not really able to open like their windows

all the way. I don't know if that's for like all build it probably not all London. But like, yeah. But like, I think it's some sort of weird, not law, but like building code or whatever that like windows can't open very far. So they just get deprived of fresh air. So no one can jump out? I think so. think that's the yikes. Even the first four homies don't get a full

I don't know. I didn't do too much research, but I think it's like a whole like code thing. Haven't you been to London in the summer? I was, but there was Central AC, so it was fine where we were. Privileged. Yeah, exactly. Privileged in my Airbnb. Jen, is it chime for chocolate or vanilla?

The SWAMP (29:07.982)
Sorry. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Vanilla. Chocolate. Chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry? Chocolate. I'll say strawberry because my strawberries are starting to pop up. Yeah, I'll say strawberry too. I just bought a bunch of strawberries because I'm going to make fruit salsa. Sounds delicious. First one is, I'm going say his name right. So Blockbuster director Denny Villanueva or Ryan Coogler.

Okay, so it is fair because it's French and you're allowed to pronounce French people's names wrong because they don't deserve our respect. I always said Dennis Villamuevla and then that was wrong and somebody's like his name is Dennis you idiot it's Denis and I was like, okay, well it's spelt like Dennis so sorry, but it is Denis Villamuev I believe. Okay. I really like your I like that you committed to it Jen. So you said I don't know how to say this so I'm gonna say it anyways. We were just talking about Michael Creighton and like

That's the way I say it. I don't know if it's right or wrong. know what you mean. I know what you mean. But this is a tough one because they're both really great directors and both have hits and misses for me personally. So it's not like there's one with like a 100 % body of work that I'm obsessed with.

I will say Ryan Coogler's I'm docking him points just because it's a Marvel situation where objectively those were like, as far as Marvel movies goes, those were pretty good. So I'm almost leaning towards picking Ryan Coogler because I'm really interested to see, he's still very young. So I'm really excited with what he's going to do with the rest of his career after he breaks free from that Disney contract a little bit. So I'll pick Ryan Coogler for that. But Denis Villeneuve just took over the Bond franchise, which kind of

tickled my pickle. I'm excited now. I'm not a huge Bond fan, but I'll go see him. I am a huge Bond fan. So here's the thing is I'll pick him for that. And I do I did love Dune. I am horrified though, because it was it's under Amazon's jurisdiction. And I don't know if you guys have seen the people that have sort of been like

The SWAMP (31:21.422)
Yeah, speculated. in, in, speculated. Yes, speculated for Bond. I don't believe any of that. They're all, it's like Jacob Elordi and Tom Holland. that shit. Absolutely not. Harris Dickinson. No way. None of this, none of these men have what it needs. None of them. Some other guys said Will Poulter. Get out of here. Get out of here. I will not rest until Dev Patel is my name, Bond. Yes! Good choice. Good choice. Fucking.

Christ, dude. You backed that up, Oh, he could do it so well. He could do it so well. He's got the accent. He's got the action experience. He's got the body. He's got the face. He's got the charisma. He is suave. But I think one thing that I really liked about what, oh God, what's his fucking- He too good an actor. Daniel Craig's Bond was that he was a lot more clunky. And I think that's one thing that I like. And I could also see Dev Patel

bringing to this as well. Yeah, I don't know. I just think he would be the easiest fit for that. Yeah, I am behind you with Dev and I will say Denny because of Dune. Yeah, Shots Out Dune, Shots Out Dune 2, Shots Out Dune 3, Dune Messiah? Dune Messiah. Dune Messiah starting in there. I think it just started, right? Like production. believe so. It's gonna be one movie, right? They're not gonna break it into two?

Just when I believe he wants it to be a trilogy from what the interviews have said, because they've asked him if he wants to continue. And he's like, no, I don't care for the other Dune books. Also in my mind's eye, this is a three movie situation. Dune one, Dune two, Dune Messiah. Good call. The next one is the sun emoji with the glasses or the beach umbrella emoji.

Does the sun emoji have glasses? I don't think it does. The one on your email does. You know the one on your email? No, no, no. I'm not using team's emojis. You think I'm using emojis during work? I don't want those people to have any frivolity or joy coming from. I hope this email finds us both dead. Okay? That's my energy. I don't dream of labor. Thank you. I also, I do the manual smiley face with, because like to have the nose.

The SWAMP (33:42.99)
And I just think, you know, that's the classy way to do a smiling face at work. Keep it on the keyboard. I'm not trying to open a second menu. So I guess for that reason, I'll say the umbrella because fuck this fake emoji situation. I don't think I've ever used an emoji or like a emoticon in a work email. I'm gonna go with my work is a lot more casual than my work. my God.

I wish, I wish my boss was sending me like the little like poop with the smiley face on it. And you're like, yeah, I have been, I am shooting on company time. Thank you for noticing. you. Yeah. I have been gone for 45 minutes. I bet you wonder where I am. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Come in here and stop me? Yeah, right. Get my, get my team's notification while I'm actively scrolling TikTok on the toilet.

I'm gonna go the sun with the sunglasses though, because that does seem more my vibe. It's also really meta in the sense that like, what does the sun need to wear sunglasses for? Exactly. What bigger sun is there out there? What is the sun afraid of? know. Maybe he just wants to look hip. For that reason.

I'm gonna go with the glasses. Next one is jelly sandals or flip flops? I love jelly sandals. Those were big. I loved to wear my clear jelly sandals with a fun sock underneath in high school. That was very much my look. That was a staple for you. And one time I was at a music festival and I was rocking that look and this trashed woman.

who's standing right next to me. We're about to hear Vance Joy play his one hit wonder song, Riptide. And she turns around, she's looking at me and she goes, no shoes. And she was just so trashed that I was like, I cannot explain to this woman what jelly sandals are. She is not in the.

The SWAMP (35:44.462)
to receive this information. That's funny. Were they like the ones too? Cause they're like sandals, but they're kind of like, they've got a lot of structure to them, right? It's kind of like- Yeah, there's a heel. There's a bottom. mean, depends on the quality you get. Okay. But it goes across like fully across the top of your foot essentially. It's not like a it more as a clog. It's more of a clog than anything. okay. do remember those. of plastic. Yeah. I remember even just like-

I had those for my Barbies as a kid and those were the move to even put on your Barbies. can't say I ever owned a pair, but I would still like to, honestly. So I'll go with the jelly sandals. Yeah, same. I'm gonna go with jelly sandals for the sweet. I'm not a big flip-flop fan.

The SWAMP (36:37.398)
I'll rather the over the top slag type sandal. I also like my sandal to have a heel, a back.

If I'm actually like walking around, I'm just on the beach or my house, I don't care. Slides are fine. But like if I'm out, I cannot risk losing a shoe. I'm not that coordinated. Guys, can my feet. Can I make a statement really quick? Because I feel like this is one chocolate or vanilla that I've probably stood on business for, for the entirety of us doing this, is if I'm pro Crocs or anti Crocs. I know you hate Crocs. I hate Crocs. I recently came into not one, but two.

pairs of free platform Crocs. And I've been using them as my gardening shoe. And you took them? They were free. They fit me perfectly. I'm going to wait to give you my final judgment on them, but I have been wearing them. The platform Crocs are nice as well. Yeah. I like a good sturdy.

base for my flat Are you gonna put gibets in your crocs? I don't know about that. We'll see. We'll see if something really tickles me. I have some Pokemon. I'm not even that girl. Maybe some maybe some floral gibets or something. Or people have the ones that are like bottle openers. The Margaritaville. I do like those ones. Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville has branded gibets and I'm pretty sure they're

I passed the sign for the new Margaritaville on the Cape every day on my way to work and so I might have to make my journey over there just to get some. Your pilgrimage? My pilgrimage. Next one is an Oreo shake or a vanilla cone with sprinkles? An Oreo shake.

The SWAMP (38:25.768)
Those are my only two options. I walk up to the ice cream stand. That's what I'm ordering. I love Oreos in any sort of ice cream context, too. I love a cookies and cream moment. Everyone knows my favorite is the coffee with the cookies and the cream in it. Deer tracks, if you will. Is that what deer tracks is? think so. I don't know. I'm losing all of my Giffords memories. I'll go.

Oreos on this as well because I'm not a sprinkles person honestly, so I'll go Oreo shake. Ooh, I love a soft serve with sprinkles. I'm gonna go with that. I don't like the way they stick in my teeth. I don't like chunky stuff coming up my straw. Okay, you know, fair. And I like a challenge. I like to do a little excavation.

You're getting that clog in the straw and you're sucking it till it flying back and you choke on it. The straw sucks in to like the sides of the straw. Yeah it holds. Next one is ET, Shrek or Lion King? Shrek. Yeah, Shrek. Tough, but it is Shrek. I love ET, but...

Me and my friends would have beat ET with rocks or whatever that hilarious post was. ET is great, but ET is no Shrek. Yeah, Lion King is fine, but it's no Shrek. Exactly. Yeah. Case in point. I agree. Yeah. What kind of swamp would we be if we didn't pick Shrek for the sweep? Next one is Steal My Sunshine by Len. Love Shack by TheB52s or Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles. Ooh, I...

We'll have to pick Love Shack by the B-52s just by way of shouting out Rock Lobster, which is one of the greatest songs ever written and is a complete summer vibe.

The SWAMP (40:23.98)
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go love shack as well because I don't think I get a lot happier than when I get to sing out a hugging and a kiss and dancing and a love there's some shit like that. I don't even know the lyrics. Or when they go tin roof. Rusty. Exactly. Yeah. Catch me on any given day screaming love shack in my car. You are welcome to my one man performance. Yeah, I'm with you guys. Windows down.

sunshine in Love Shack. See, you're doing Love Shack, I'm doing the part of Rock Lobster where they just name an animal and then do the animal noise. It's like, let me hear the dolphin. Let me hear the fish. And they do that for like a minute and a half. It's great. There was something like, I saw some crazy video recently where it was like at a music festival. They had like some ridiculous like lobster.

thing available to buy and someone did. And while they make it for you, they play rock lobster in a lobster costume. And there's a guy like actively playing the the flute while it was happening. I'll send it. Cause it seems very up your alley, Dara. I like, I can see you dancing in a lobster costume. perplexed. Me too. perplexed by this. We're going to take a road trip. Book smart, point break or Barbie? Barbie?

to me feels like the last cultural bastion of like women women's rights before things really got bad. Does that ring true? Like the Barbenheimer everyone the Barbie marketing campaign. Everyone's hyping up Barbie. We're tearing down the stereotype that Barbie is just hot. You know, we're bringing in scientists Barbies. Not that whole thing was just really cool. And now I just feel like we live in hell. So I'll pick Barbie. I'll actually

Go book smart because I feel like that came out like in a time where everything was you know not as bad but simpler and it personally holds a soft spot in my heart because I love watching that movie with my sister so. Nice I will go with point break. Next one is a bucket hat a bucket hat or a hookah shell necklace.

The SWAMP (42:44.362)
Puka Shell Necklace does make a statement, but I have a bucket hat that I love. Puka Shell, not Puka Shell, right? Puka Shell. Smoking that Puka Shell necklace. It's Puka Shell, yeah. But I'm going to the bucket hat. I have a really good bucket hat. I think it's meant for a dog because the label has a paw print on it. But I don't know because it's...

It's a really good, it has Bacardi, like the Bacardi rum brand. And can't be made for a dog. I don't know. The label has like a paw print on it, which is really throwing me up, but it has these little snaps. dogs with a head that is your size. But wouldn't they need ear holes? They would have to put ear holes in it. the sides.

The sides snap up, so there are these little buttons where you can turn the bucket hat into sort of a safari, sort of pseudo cowboy hat. I don't know how to describe it. what you're talking about. My brother used to have one. I feel like I've never seen this hat on you, Dara. It's a new development for me. I'll go bucket hat as well, though, because I think, especially during the summer, need that. I know. My skin is clear. I need...

SPF 150 and a hat and the umbrella emoji, okay? Same, I'll go, fucking hat. Last one, is that white braided sailor bracelet that you wear all summer until it breaks or GIMP? Oh my God, GIMP. Sorry, Jen, you can't just say that word. honestly, I don't even think Jen knows what the.

with the bad, or not bad, but just, you know, the sexual connotation of the word gimp. I think Jen does not know what that means at all. We're just hilarious. you know what? I'm not going to tell you, but I love what she is referring to is this flat plastic string that we use to make friendship. You make friendship bracelets with them. It's called like gimp string, gimp string. So it's like, I'm doing my gimp. So I will pick the gimp. I was a gimper. I was a gimper back in the day, back at summer camp.

The SWAMP (44:51.662)
What was my first option? Those ugly sailor rope bracelets. I'll make a bracelet any day. You put them on and then they shrink a little bit when they get wet so you can leave it on all the time. Sure. Just indefinitely. But they're white so they get rank so fast. nasty. I'll go friendship bracelet or like GIMP bracelet, whatever it is. I'm gonna friendship GIMP.

I'm gonna get some gifts this summer. Thank you as always, Jen, for giving us some summer-themed chocolate or vanilla questions. We love you and we'll see you next week. Okay, I love you guys. Have an awesome night. Bye, I you, Jen. This movie was visually so striking to me. I caught a little bit of an ick because I thought they were gonna really overuse some CGI.

And then I was really pleasantly surprised with the amount of animatronics and robots and what was clearly like actual physically existing in the space dinosaur props. Because we get that first scene with the, what are the ones with the long necks? Bronchosaurus? Bronchiosaurus. Bronchiosaurus. We get that first, they roll up in the Jeep and Laura Dern is looking at something else and we got that iconic, like, she won't turn around and see it and then she sees it.

we're very much capturing the awe and wonder of this dinosaur world. That's the other thing about this movie. This movie spends the first half being in like reverence and appreciation for the marvel and beauty of nature that is dinosaurs. And then the second half is the horror movie about when it turns bad. That's all these remakes and sequels don't have any more of like these sweeping shots of them just existing in nature.

and running through the meadows and the scientists being excited to learn like, oh, they do run in packs and, oh, they are eating this kind of leaf or whatever. You know, there's none of that anymore. It's just like big dinosaur scary. Yeah, exactly. Which is not also not the takeaway. But but when up with those bronchiosauruses were looking crunchy and I was like, oh, and then they we pull out to a wide and then they're like off in the distance.

The SWAMP (47:12.11)
And they look fine. Low-key and oil painting and you're like, this is where you need to utilize the CG because then when we get to those up close shots of the T-Rex, I'm like, I can tell that that's fucking real. Like they built something. absolutely. Yeah, no, I thought honestly, mean, obviously, like compared to what you can produce today. Yeah, it doesn't look fantastic, but I would say it like it looks up. Holds up.

It was amazing for its time. 1993 is the year this movie came out. And I think, let me see if I have this right. That's the same year that Alien 3 came out. 1982, Alien 3 came out. If you've ever seen that fuck ass movie, oh my God. Obviously, like I know it was the beginning of CGI and everything like that, but holy fuck. It's so bad.

And just seeing what the next year someone else did that is just like solid. I'm like, okay, okay. He just didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know what he had on his hands. Steven Spielberg though. I also feel like it's used so sparingly. It's also used in joint, you know, together with the animatronic. It's like, we're using the CG to just help the animatronic or like, you know, to show that the car is flipping without actually flipping a car. But you know, the car was there.

to begin with kind of CGI versus like, okay, this whole thing was filmed in a sound studio and or, know, in a green screen room, we're just gonna post that in like, I don't know, there's just a weight to it. And when it to lighting too, I think that's why so many movies now the lighting looks so flat and terrible is because we're all doing it digitally. You need to crank that up by like a thousand percent. The stark contrast, that second half of this movie is all in the rain, in the dark. We have these striking beams of light, like illuminating certain aspects.

That's how you maintain that beautiful PG-13 rating, because you can only show just a little bit of the scary thing and then leave the rest to the imagination. And that's how you make that work, which I feel like, again, more current movies are not doing it like that. don't know. I will say, though, on the flip side of that, I am very excited for the new James Gunn Superman. Are you? It is. I was like a medium level of excited.

The SWAMP (49:38.03)
Because I just don't really care for it. I like that Nicholas Holt is there. I like that Nicholas Holt is there. I do really like David Corn sweat though and I do think he is the perfect progression from- What's wrong with that? You lied to me! That's just what I think every time when I see him. I'm like, Pearl?

think that he is the natural progression from a fucking Henry Cavill in those fuck ass movies. I can't wait to see his nerdy little ass as Clark Kent. It's gonna be awesome. But there- You'll have to let me know, because my stance was that I wasn't gonna see it unless somebody I trust told me it was good. I'll see it and let you know. But they used a lot of real sets.

and things like that and you see it because they've well they've done a lot of promo like sort of on the set and everything like that which is something you can't do when your whole entire set is a green screen so it got it's gotten me very excited i'm a fan of james gunn's previous work with the suicide squad sequel yes and what he did the guardians of the galaxy movies actually which did have their merit at the time a little

a little exhaustive once the fan base really took to it. speaking of Marvel, though, similarly on the summer blockbuster topic of superhero movies, I do have my pre-sale ticket for Fantastic Four, which every passing day is looking bleaker and bleaker to me. It's coming out later this month. Pedro Pascal said he wanted to do a transatlantic accent and they wouldn't let him and that they legit

had a dialect coach to help him do transatlantic. And when he showed up to set being like, I'm gonna do a period accurate 1960s transatlantic accent, they were like, no, we wanted you to just be Pedro Pascal. He's like, why'd you get me the dialect coach that I'm super into this? Also Sue Storm's hair is so sad and flat. Vanessa Kirby has these like beachy waves. It's the 60s bitch put her in a beehive. Like a lack of commitment to the aesthetic.

The SWAMP (51:51.118)
which early on is what got me excited about the movie, is now just seeming to be fizzling out into Marvel nothingness. So I'm losing a little bit of steam, but I am gonna go see that one. So I'll report back to you. It comes out the 20 something. 20 something, yes. I'm seeing it the 27th. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, we'll cross reference each other.

for our superhero movies. Speaking of summer movies, I don't think that a blockbuster truly needs to be more than two hours if it's paced well and if it's a well done movie. I could have watched three more hours of Jurassic Park. yeah, it's a solid two basically. Right on the nose. And it almost just functions as like a two act film where you have the first hour and then the second hour. Which, which.

Considering that like two weeks ago we were talking about The Hunger and that was a two act film which was not done well. I was like, okay, this I can get behind. This I'm here for. Oh, but I've never wanted to complain about a runtime because I love to be at the movies and I love to movies. you know, initially I will have no issues. Another thing about Fantastic Four,

there was all of this complaint about a two 10 runtime. It was published like on IMDB that it was going to be two 10. And there was such an outcry that there was like some like cutting room stuff that happened. And now it's less. Now it's like an hour 40, an hour 50. Because people were complaining about the runtime. People were like, I'm not going to see it now. So I think they shortened the movie or, or, or it was like really strong or something, but everyone complaining about a two 10 runtime.

for a superhero movie, grow up. Tennis is nothing. Okay, don't get me wrong. I am so pro 90 minute movie, okay? Everyone knows it, you know it. Anyone that's listened to this podcast for more than one episode knows it. But I think if you're gonna make a big, fabulous blockbuster movie, it needs to at least be two hours. What? Right. Where's the time for the action?

The SWAMP (54:04.654)
I don't understand. I just worry about the shortening attention spans and if the general public just continues to complain in this way. We're afraid, What are we going to lose? What's going to get left on the cutting room floor that could have been really cool? But because now everyone has to have the 90 minute film, can't do, come on guys, we can't do a 210 Fantastic Four movie. I know you bitches that sat through the fucking brutalist. Come on.

Well, the same bitches sitting through the brutalist are not the bitches complaining about the 210 runtime. That's true. That's true. But I will say that being said, a bad Marvel movie that's like pulling teeth 210 could easily feel like four. And, know, when you're watching the movie and you're like, I'm cutting this in my mind, I'm doing an edit that that is a terrible feeling. And I will I will say there's always a place for the 90 minute film. But I just I hate this. I hate this discourse about I don't know.

complaining about long run times. What else are you doing? You want to look at your phone that bad? Roll Just don't go to the movies. Just don't go to the movies if that's what it is then. There's no. Or no, or do or do or learn how to sit still for a period of time and focus on something. Yeah. Yeah, no, I and I, I know we talk about it a decent amount on the podcast, but I feel so fucking lucky that I got out of school.

before the AI apocalypse came on. Oh, everyone's talking about it like it's we're getting on the last plane out of Vietnam. That's genuinely what it feels like. No, I a great TikTok that was like, I got out of high school before vaping was a thing and I got out of college before chachi pechina was a thing and it straight up is like being us. But I don't wanna, I don't like that rhetoric so much because I don't wanna undermine that all young people are stupid, illiterate, vaping babies. that's not.

necessarily true. you're right. I don't love that. But I'm glad that I personally am not in the situation where that is the norm. Like where that is, you know, that vapes and Chad GPT are being pushed at me so aggressively that you're in the minority if you try to avoid them. Like very scary times. Just read a Wikipedia page for fun. Like, please. That's what Tim would have done. That's what Timmy in this movie would have done. my god, Tim. Tim?

The SWAMP (56:30.466)
who plays the bassist in the terrible Bohemian Rhapsody movie. He plays John Deacon. That's him. What's his name? He's like a working actor. He's in stuff. No fucking way. That's awesome. Joseph Mazzello. that's awesome. He played Tim. He's booked. He stays booked. And these two kids, the younger boy is really into dinosaurs and he like admires

Dr. Grant and he's like, I've read your book and I'm going to be an annoying, you know, eight year old. I'm going to be a kid. No, no, no, no, dinosaurs, dinosaurs. Yeah. And then his older sister is named Lex and she's a little bit more like aloof and we don't learn too much about her other than like she's kind of scared of the dinosaurs and she's not as into it as her brother. She's kind of like, whatever, this is your thing. Yeah, she's a hacker. She calls herself a hacker.

She's a computer girl. this about her until like the second half of the movie. Yeah. Where he's like, she's a nerd. And she's like, I prefer the term hacker. And I'm like, so when is this going to become relevant? Of course. then it's when they finally get into the main area or whatever. And Wayne Knight's computer, nobody can get in it to put the...

locks back on the doors and she's like, oh, this is a Linux system. I know this or whatever she says. And she basically just does the hacking thing where she's like, I'm breaking the mainframe. then bunch of lines are connecting, a bunch of boxes. But yeah, this teen girl or this young girl, she's the coder who saves the day and cracks the impossible firewall that even Samuel L. Jackson couldn't.

Of course. Well, of course. I love that for her too. It wasn't like a... I felt like this movie did a really good job with handling gender and these female scientists. I they did a great job. Existing in their own space and having autonomy and stuff. There was just the one, one line that I felt like shined a little bit too much light directly in my eyes being like, I'm not sexist. I'm Steven Spielberg and I want you to know that I respect women. You know what I'm talking about.

The SWAMP (58:48.078)
I just know that in 1993, the line, dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth, hit so hard. that's what I'm talking about. What one were you talking about? That was amazing. There's just one point where they're going back out. They've come back, Jeff Goldblum is like injured and they're to go back out. And she's like, get me the map. And then Mr. Hammond, the old guy who owns the park, it's like, well, shouldn't I go? Because I'm a, and you're a.

Yeah. Basically doing like, I should go cause you're a woman. And she, she says something like, I'll teach you all about, you know, genetics or whatever, like sex characteristics when we get back or she has a quippy fun mind, like that brushes it off and it's fine. But I just like, I didn't need to be reminded that it's like, yeah. And she's a bad-ass woman who can take care of herself. Like up until that point, that's all I had felt about her. You don't have to prove it to me again. We were on the same page. And she looked incredibly hot doing it.

Once the pink blouse came off and the tank top was on full display, I just about bit my knuckles. Yeah, she looked great in my. Fantastic, fantastic. I love her hair too. Her bluey sweeping blonde hair that's just like, it's wet and it looks good and then it's dry and frizzy and it looks good. And then it's like got mud in it and it still looks good. Exactly.

But yeah, no, I mean, this is a sexy movie. Obviously. And it is inherently kind of sexless. Like I said, there's no kissing. There's like some flirting and some surface level, you know, sexual attention, I would say. it's the cut to Jeff Goldblum leaning with his shirt unbuttoned and his injured leg. my God. Like, give a girl a fucking warning, please. Sir.

In his prime. I don't know, though. If a guy starts trying to talk to me about chaos math, it would have worked on me. I'm sorry. My barber is dead. Dead. It would worked on me. if he did that... thing, maybe. Come on. The line, I'm always looking for a future ex-missus whatever. Malcolm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, getting just talking about it. I'm like, can we talk about how Steven Spielberg...

The SWAMP (01:01:11.426)
did PETA hitting the forest field before it was PETA hitting the forest field? my God, with the zappy, what do you call it? Electric fence, the electric fence. I'm sorry, okay, I know this has been said recently, but we need to bring back rag dolls. Because watching that rag doll fly off of the fence had me screaming.

Yeah, back in the argument for practical effects, throw a rigid dummy across the screen and then cut to a real person on the ground. That shit is so funny. And no matter how seriously you're trying to get me to take this action sequence, I will suspend that for a funny dummy cut scene. Like, you can let us have that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I don't care what movie you're making.

Throw a dummy in there, cut the CGI, use a dummy. Throw a rag doll across the scene for no reason. Be like, let me just sit down on this chair. And then it's like a person starting to sit down and then it's a dummy crashing into a chair. And then it's just cut of the person sitting on the chair normally. Like, do that, please.

Should we get into our regularly scheduled programming? I feel like we barely talked about this movie, but at the same time, you haven't seen Jurassic Park at this point, even Dare is ahead of you now, so get on it. It was, I also felt like through cultural osmosis, I basically knew what was gonna happen, but I was still, I still delighted with the wonderful filmmaking of Mr. Spielberg. He ceases to let me down. Yeah.

Yeah, no, that kitchen scene with the two velociraptors and the kids. I remember seeing that as a kid. Master class. And that scared the shit out of me. Yeah, master class. That's like, mean, putting the dinosaurs in a manmade environment and having them still behave like apex predators. Oh, it was very sick. that. Watching the watching the raptor ram its head into the reflection.

The SWAMP (01:03:19.598)
Right, outsmarting the dino using mirrors. Genius. But you said let's get into our regular scheduled programming. If you're having a little Jurassic Park party, you're having the girls over, maybe you're going to go see the new one. What are you going to eat and drink? I... Okay. This is a boy movie to me. Shawn? I want to act like a... Not act, but I want to...

I want to get into that like 11 year old boy mentality for this one. And so immediately my mind went to like appetizers, wings in particular. Mozzarella sticks? Mozzarella sticks, sure. But I don't think any of that really cut it, honestly. So I got a little crazy with my suggestion. I was stuck between wings and fries or nachos.

So I say, why not do both? I think that one of my favorite ways to consume buffalo chicken is on a chicken bacon ranch pizza. I think you make your own chicken bacon ranch nachos. know, cheese, like a ranchy sour cream, bacon, of course, buffalo chicken, jalapenos, onions, whatever other nacho fixes you CBR nachos. This is elevated. Thank you. This sounds like something that they would serve at Guy Fieri's restaurant where...

You're shitting up your back after this, that's for sure. Yeah, you leave in a diaper. Exactly. And you have a Miller Highlife with it because King of Blockbusters deserves the King of Beers. That's beautiful. And I think that we're at the same function. But my suggestion is for the children and picky eaters. that is some dinosaur chicken nuggets, baby. There we go. There we go. Easy.

You know, make the argument all you will that they get crispier because they have more ankles and that therefore they are the better chicken nugget. And I'll just refute you with, I think you just wanted to eat a fun dinosaur and that's okay too. And that's okay. What are you gonna drink? I want one of those juices that comes in the barrel. yes. A barrel juice. We really are at the same function.

The SWAMP (01:05:35.086)
Yeah, want dino nuggets and barrel juice and that's served for, yeah, the babies. And then the adults can have the Miller High Life's and the CBR nachos. I'm loving it. We can use some of the dino nugs. We can coat them in the, in the buffalo sauce and we can put those on the nachos. Actually, instead of, we're making chicken bacon ranch nachos, but we're using dinosaur chicken nuggets as the base instead of chips. And then this sounds like actually you're just melting a bunch of shit on top of.

chicken nuggets and making them like, I don't want scalding hot cheese on my chicken nugget on the outside of it. I take it all backward. said these need to live separately. Okay. Fair enough. and then what are you, who are you fucking after you shit up your back and leaving this function? God. Okay. So it's obviously between Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neal. I think I'm going to marry Laura Dern. Obviously I'm gonna fuck Jeff Goldblum and I'm going to kill.

Alan Grant, duh!

The SWAMP (01:06:37.294)
See, I don't want to kill Alan, honestly. He did. He's not the obvious choice, but he did really win me over with the Brachiosaurus call hanging in the tree with the kids. found him very endearing. I also just really liked, I respect a man that does not need to like get aggro over his woman. He's like, I know where we stand. was like, Jeff Goldrume was like, oh, are you two together? And he said, yes.

And that was don't need to be doing all that PDA. I like that. That's my that's that is the marriage I'm in. Not quite as severely, but I I appreciate the platonic. Of course. Front. Yes. With that being said, I will still kill him. Marry Or Chan. Yeah. Easy. Yeah. And then opening it up to the entire cast. well, I'm going to marry Samuel L. Jackson. Obviously.

I'm gonna kill the unseen parents of these children that we do not see. I'm gonna hold them for sport on this island. That's another, have we never done the hunting for hunting people for sport aspect or have we ever done that in the Jurassic Park sequels? Do they ever get around to like letting billionaires hunt the dinosaurs for sport and then they like really get their comeuppance? That would be a good take.

Honestly, yeah, that would be. I like your thinking. It's all about man's hubris. Man's hubris that he can take the dinosaurs down. And then, if I could, okay, I'm going to marry Sam Jackson. I'm going to kill the parents. And then who am I fucking? Oh, the guy who gets killed by the Raptor. Yeah, exactly. And that's right. Safari guy, the Raptor trainer. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I agree with you there. I'm also going to fuck him.

I'm still gonna marry Laura Dern, but I'm gonna kill the scientist that we meet in the first half of the movie who's like, no, you idiot. They're all females. They're all females because we're so smart and we genetically engineered them like that. I don't know, like his Oh, BD Wong? Yeah. Is that BD Wong? Yeah, I'm killing him. Wong, yeah. He also appears in the sequels, which means that he... He made it out. out. No, not in my story.

The SWAMP (01:08:56.878)
Yeah. like using the robot arm to like engage with the eggs. nasty. But what are you gonna, okay, so hypothetically you have this party, you leave with your new wife Laura Dern, you fuck for days and then you're gonna pause and watch a movie together in bed under the covers on the laptop. What are you watching?

I think she's going to love it because I'm going to make her watch Planet of the Apes with me. She is going to love that. She she's going to love it. Because that to me is almost like, you know, a franchise, if you will, that kind of did a better job at evolving and changing the story while still keeping at the core of, you know, the, the Ape Shall Not Kill Ape, Man, The Hubris of Man, Science, Altering Science, all of that, you know.

I feel like, are the later ones great? Like, no. I don't think it's incredibly successful, but I do think the Planet of the Apes movies are worth checking out and would maybe stand higher to me ranking than the Jurassic Park franchise as a whole. If I'm looking at the whole thing and what they've done with it. Like, I just think Planet of the Apes takes that kind of similar concept and does it a little better. Mm-hmm. I can't say I've seen.

any Planet of the Apes movies, so I will take your word for it. I'm also going with a franchise though. I brought it up earlier, but I think you pivot and go to Alien. I think it's similar plot. You're dealing with this sort of unknown species. You are being actively hunted. And it's got the same sort of sci-fi action that I want. It's The same sort of cigs inside sci-fi that I love. Exactly!

I wish Samuel L. Jackson as his character in Jurassic Park would have been there on that spaceship. Yep, absolutely. Things would have gone differently if I was on that plane.

The SWAMP (01:11:05.85)
Sigourney Weaver, you're now part of a larger universe. And what are you gonna rate this movie? I give it a 9 out of 10. Easy. I was gonna give it an 8. Yeah, like timeless, classic, solid, you know. Could we remaster some of those chunky brachiosauruses a little bit? I think maybe. Sure. But, you know, I'm not gonna hold that against it too much. Definitely up there for me as a Spielberg great.

for sure, really showing his eye for filmmaking and how innately good he is at all that shit. and that kicks off our Spielberg summer. Thank you for listening. Thanks for joining us, guys. We'll covering probably some Indiana Jones, probably some Jaws. If you have any other Spielbergs, I was going say that we haven't covered before. We've covered ET. But what else of a Spielbergs have we've covered? we could do Hook.

No, I'm saying what have we done so they don't suggest it to us. What have we We've done ET, but other than that, I you can suggest almost any other Spielberg to us. Yeah, I don't think we've, I don't think we've done Catch Me If You Can. We did that, right? We have done that one too. Yep. Other than that, really. But let us know what your faves are because he's, he spans across generations. Yeah, if you guys want us to do the BFG. Hey, and who's to say maybe there's some merit there.

But probably not. Probably not. That seems like one of those end of career cash grabs, you know, I could use a new jet ski kind of situations, but he had to fund the fabled men somehow, you know, he to some low work for Disney to earn his points. goodbye, good night and have a lovely rest of your evening, week, month, summer and get your ass to the movies. Go see something.