The SWAMP

SWAMP: Some Whack Ass Movie Podcasting. The brilliant, dazzling, and entirely unqualified Emily and Dara will talk your ear off each week about a different movie. Movies they love, movies they hate, and sometimes movies they love to hate, and hate to love. Pour yourself a drink, grab a carb-based snack, and tune in to hear some hot takes on all things movies.

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The SWAMP

The Hunger

June 19, 2025 • Dara Valcour and Emily Kievra

Happy Pride to Bisexual Vampires Everywhere! Covering the 1983 arty erotic vampire thriller The Hunger this week.

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The SWAMP (00:00.226)
She's just that kind of woman. She's European. Happy Pride to all of my European bitches out there. my God. I wish that people would say that about me. She's just a little European. She's a little European. She doesn't wear a bra, she's European. Which is so funny because canonically she's supposed to be Egyptian.

Yeah, what the fuck was going on there? Anyways, we'll dive into that. What's up? Welcome. We're diving into the swamp. It's our podcast. It's an acronym. Stands for some wack ass movie podcasting. Happy Pride, you bitches. We're talking about gay vampires this month. And my God, I didn't even really know that this movie was actually gay. Seconds before we start this, Dara's like, I didn't even know there was actually going to be gay sex when I suggested this. I just thought David Bowie was in it and that basically counted.

No, real, I was like, it's gonna be a highly stylized vampire movie with David Bowie in it. That feels like it qualifies as being gay vampire. But then there's like, like we get like minutes of scissoring. I'll tell you what, I, cause I wrote about this in my notes. I wrote about this in my diary. I about this to my therapist. I wrote about this. I posted about this on my blog. My second blog, my secret blog and my secret secret blog. Okay.

knew it was gonna get really gay when she said, I don't like Sherry and she goes, I think you'll like this one. How about I come everywhere? Yeah, right. Wait, so I want to know, did you know anything about this movie? Because I knew I knew David Bowie was gonna be in it and that it was a vampire movie. And that's really it. knew what you told me, which was that.

Nothing else. I also told you this before we popped on. I had no idea Susan Sarandon was in this until the main title cards pulled. Oh yeah. What a pleasant surprise. Love it when her and her gorgeous breasts just pop right up. I'm sorry, but you know it's supposed to be a good movie when Sue shows up with that tucked in white t-shirt and the best jeans you've ever seen. Ah, fitted Gays shit incoming.

The SWAMP (02:11.234)
Fit it up, nipples hard. then she like triumphantly takes off her top and reveals her breasts to us. It's the slow motion throughout all of it that really did it for me. The slow mo nipple was, you know, really brilliant. But I think there's honestly in terms of a lesbian sex scene, this was very tastefully done. It was sexy. It was prolonged, which I feel like we only get if it's really disrespectful.

Right. You know, like the 10 minutes of scissoring from like Blue is the Warmest Color. Yeah. It was that, but not at all gross or disgusting or what's it called when you like use someone for sexual gratification. What's the word I'm thinking of? Oh, exploitative. I thought it was rather respectful and obviously beautifully shot because this entire movie is beautifully shot. Seven out of 10 on the lesbian sex scale, though.

cannot speak to what the actual final cut was because did it go too far? We'll never know. But this movie, the MPAA said this is X rated. You can't show this. This is an NA X rated film because of this prolonged lesbian sex scene. And this was the cut version that made the R rating. There is what was originally the original first pass of the movie was deemed too much.

which I found this to seem quite uncompromising. So that's, I'm almost wondering now that you bring up like maybe it did go too far, but I do know in interviews, both the actresses said that there were body doubles. It was a closed set and that it was very comfortable. Like when, know, like, Susan, that must've been crazy. She's like, it really wasn't.

She's like, was very professional. was very- an actor and it's my job. It's nothing crazy. But yeah, no, I thought that was awesome and I wasn't expecting it. Yeah, so I literally didn't know that this movie is legitimately about a bisexual queen vampire who pops off and lives forever and then her little partners don't live forever. And so if you've never seen The Hunger, basically the premise is that Miriam is our head main vampire.

The SWAMP (04:25.612)
and that she has lived for a long ass fucking time. Like 2000 years. Because her origins, her origins are Egyptian, which is not fucking ringing true to me. ass Catherine Deneuve is playing an Egyptian vampire who does not have fangs, but uses an ankh pendant to slice the victims. god. Okay. Just put Elizabeth Taylor back in the Egyptian makeup and throw her on my screen if that's what we're doing here.

They did that for a second. They put her in a headdress and they did a flashback for a second and I said, whoa. When this was just an implied lore, I already was not with it. I don't think I even recognized it until I had to. I'm sure you fell down the rabbit hole of afterwards being like, I need lore because this movie gives you nothing in terms of background. Right. Well, and vampirism is incredibly different in this universe, almost to a point where I was like, wait,

is this even a vampire movie? But then it's like, yes, they're feasting on blood. I think if you're eternal and you feast on blood, you're vampire. That's sort of the baseline. Well, they're refined vampires, you know? And the lore is so different. silver or the sun, or they don't have fangs. Right. And so they do lie in the coffins, but that's more of like the end of life vampire thing. Also, like the vampire spawn are different than the main vampire, which is also true of vampire lore.

generally speaking, but this one is incredibly nonspecific and is far more concerned with showing us like dancing shots of people in a nightclub than it is like telling us what's going on, which honestly, I didn't really mind. I didn't really mind that they didn't dig too deep into it because I honestly don't think there's much beneath the surface. think that they just went with I wish they gave me a little more, I will say, because I was very confused sort of in terms of like, my whole question is why do her lovers

die and she doesn't. I didn't understand that she was a queen vampire. And it's very much like the same ideas last week with the Lost Boys where it's like, oh they're vampires. You gotta kill the head vampire, but you have to also like, like all the other ones are just half vampires right now. Like David Bowie is a half vampire or something. Yeah. He's no queen.

The SWAMP (06:44.352)
Yes, that was immediately apparent to me, but maybe because I've been like balls deep in vampire lore for my Dungeons and Dragons campaign. I've been more tuned in to the science. But yeah, she's the head vampire and she is eternal. But then when she turns someone, they live for like only 300 years. So a long ass time.

but they do live forever, but they don't retain their youth. So their youth goes away after like 300 years. And then they just have to eternally rot in their own corpse in her fucking attic. So her cycle, I guess, is that she finds a lover, hangs out with them for 300 years. They get old and she says, sorry, I didn't warn you about this. I did say forever. And I did just mean 300 years, get in the box. And she puts them in a coffin. She puts them up in the attic and she collects them. And then she finds someone new.

And she seems to be a pathological liar in the sense that she always uses the term like eternal life, eternal youth to these people while turning them and then does not mention the inevitable 300 year birthday surprise. Like, yeah, was David Bowie was like, hey, I know this did happen before. Can you let me know what's going on? She's like, I'm aloof and so classy.

I will never answer your question. And then it's just like, okay, so we as the audience also don't get to know? No, exceptionally manipulative. And then it becomes the whole thing of, this movie's kind of broken up into two parts where David Bowie is your main character until he dies halfway then Susan Sarandon. And then Susan Sarandon becomes the main character. But how we get there is basically David Bowie is looking for essentially the substance. He's like, please, anything to make me stop aging someone.

And Susan Sarandon is like working on like fast aging monkeys in this biomedical lab. This is how you know that she is doing legitimate research that is so important because, she wrote a book, okay? And she's doing signings and that means that she has hit something big. She's also doing shit with monkeys. They do not let amateurs fuck around with the apes, okay? No, that's just the mice. So you know, you know when they show you

The SWAMP (08:56.47)
a scientist in a lab coat standing in front of a monkey that they're the top scientist. And that's what we know about Susan Sarandon. It's amazing. It's amazing because we get this intercut scene of David Bowie. His character's name is John, but I am just going to call him David Bowie. Yeah, exactly. And Catherine Dillon, the main vampire. Her name's Miriam. And they're like a couple and they like to have like hot, sexy vampire, like four sums where they like really feast on them. But it's like they go to the club and they do a like,

making eyes at you from across the club, we like your vibe, kind of deal to this other couple. But then we get this very erotic, this movie's categorized as an erotic horror, because there's a lot of fucking in it as well. I didn't feel, I mean, it was hot, but it was not anything crazy to me, but it was also the 80s, so. We say nip, we get some nippy, we get titty action. think that least two different people's nipples, so.

But then it's like intercut with this like footage of a monkey like screaming. like ripping another monkey apart. It's like it's like people fucking and then like like a rabid apes was an incredible way to kick off this movie. I was like, I think I get what's going on here. Like this is like student art.

film, but I wasn't mad about it. Yeah. so Susan Sarandon is in charge of the wild apes and she's making them age. She's bringing them to the lab that makes you old. Literally. And so her whole research seems to be like, we can speed up aging. So now we have a handle on the biological clock. So now that we know that we can progress it, now we should be able to slow it down, that line of thinking

girly pop is not really ringing true to me. Yeah, I feel like you kind of just wasted your time. You kind of just wasted a monkey. Exactly. They're like, aged. He aged 100 years in 10 minutes. I'm like, for what? The way they aged to that monkey was diabolical, too. It so upsetting. So deeply upsetting. yeah, like just watching this monkey become like old and decrepit. And I'm sure it was a puppet or something like that.

The SWAMP (11:14.018)
But Jesus Christ, when the skin starts to fall off its bones, I was like, all right, guys, we can really, we can reel it in here a little bit, but you know, it is a horror movie. And as soon as it gets to be like too much, they take a step back and you get to see the aging monkey through the monitor. So through Susan Sremming's grainy monitor, so you get this grainy footage of like a decomposing monkey corpse. It was a lot for a vampire film. I gotta be honest.

All of the action, which there is very little in this movie, that was one more just- All the action was fucking action. Exactly, literally. Literally. Clam on clam. Happy Pride. She's European, honey. She's European, honey. my fucking God. What the fuck was I gonna say, Dara? Yeah, I just think there was literally a fucking vampire movie. It was-

exceptionally slow and I get it, it's like a goth movie. It makes sense. a- 90, 97 minutes and this movie felt three hours long. I had to go, I watched the first half of this. watched David Bowie's half at my house. And then I had to go to the gym and watch it on my phone because I couldn't like stop getting bored and scrolling. And I was like, I need to walk on the treadmill while I do this. Wow.

I just needed, I needed the halfway point break, which I actually did pause at the perfect exact moment once David Bowie has laid to rest and then we enter. It's like, honestly, there should be a title card, like act two. Yeah, exactly. It's about Susan Sarangin, right? But no, I was like, I need to take a minute. Pacing was really fucking weird. Awful, like really bad. Yeah. But did you know that this movie was made by Ridley Scott's brother, Tony, who also may top them? didn't

Top Gun. didn't know he was Ridley Scott's brother. this is his first film. That makes sense. It's funny that he started with this and he ended up being like the action movie guy. yeah. Because like you said, this movie is like sort of severely lacking in that category, especially coming off of like Lost Boys, which was like board motorcycle motorcycle, you know, gang fights and stuff. This one, it's like all of the violence was like just incredibly like.

The SWAMP (13:30.03)
specifically upsetting. it wasn't like a vampire fight. You're talking about the child murder. I'm talking about the child murder and the decomposing aging ape. I wasn't even mad about the decomposing other lovers or anything like that or the mummy mummified lovers. Like whatever. I was impressed that for 1983 they did blatant child murder.

Yeah. Well, so what happens is that David Bowie, if you've never seen The Hunger, David Bowie is this vampire, vampirist. He's her lover and he has his 300 year clock is up and he's like, OK, I'm going to age like a ton in a day. So he's like, I better go to the hospital. Wrong, wrong move, my guy, because they make you sit in a waiting room until you're literally 100. He shows up and he's like 50 or like 60 looking maybe. He's got the wrinkles on the neck.

He leaves and he's haggard. He's not ready for hospice. Yeah, yeah. You can see, he looks like in, my God, what was it? Revenge of the Sith, when Palpatine gets zapped and all of his, like, he gets really fucked up and scarred. That's what he ends up looking like as he leaves the hospital. And so then basically he uses his final moments to take out who he believes Miriam wants her next companion to be, which is incredibly weird because

This, it's this teenage girl, this young, younger teenage girl who lives across the street and she like comes over for music lessons. and he accuses Miriam at one point. He's like, that's who your next person is going to be. I can tell you like her. And Miriam's kind of like, stop saying words and just shrivel up already. None of your business, honestly. before he tries to accost her with his shriveled up dick?

Maybe not with his dick, but they start making out, or I mean, he starts making out with her. Yeah, this is, no, this is before. Okay, okay. But yeah, I think that was the intention though, is like that was Miriam's. Well, yeah, and he's like, I can tell, so I'm gonna kill her first. grooming her. Yeah, like I'm gonna, you know, kill her so that, you know, I'll take her out with me in the end or whatever. He also drinks her blood thinking it will maybe help and it just doesn't, so, duh. Yeah, last ditch effort.

The SWAMP (15:50.478)
But like the very prolonged exasperation of like, oh, this underage girl who you teach music lessons to, oh, you're going to groom her to be your vampire companion. And it's like, like really tear it into that. then then the whole the setup, because you know something's going to happen and he makes her.

play the violin, you're like just waiting for it to get awful and gross and then, you know, and then he gets her. And that's like, yeah, that's like the big main kill we get other than we get the sexy vampire, Susan Sarandon becomes a vampire and then she like eats her boyfriend, but that's also not like that wasn't too graphic. really on screen. feel like the most like other than that, we get the main kill in the beginning, which like is exposition. I will say though, have you, you were an American Horror Story person at one point in time, right?

Yeah, we were of an incredibly pivotal age when that show first came out. I would say- 15 years old watching like a coven. That was huge. Yeah, I definitely was super into it seasons one, two, three, maybe dropped off a little bit. I watched the clown one and I remember thinking this is really taking a turn for the worse. And I remember getting reinvigorated by the Lady Gaga season. But then after that, I just didn't.

because I was like, only liked the parts that she was in and I don't really care for this. And at that point, he was coming out with the OJ Simpson show, which was really what was tickling my interest. And I was like, maybe Ryan Murphy, you just need to be doing something else at this point because the show is not getting any better. Well, down the tubes. And you could tell because the intro scene of this movie, beat for beat, Ryan Murphy ripped it off. And that's how we meet Lady Gaga's vampire in the hotel. It's the exact.

the same. she's also the club and the yeah, she's also very like, you know, European. European, you know, like, arrest or something like that. Didn't they call her the count? Yeah, like very like, posh and well done up and all and you know the whole thing. I mean, if you haven't seen Hotel at this point, you really should but

The SWAMP (17:54.902)
Yeah, I know Ryan Murphy every now and then has a crumb of gold on his hands, but I do forget that at the end of the day, that man is a hack. Yeah, I mean, yeah. can't, it's tough because Glee exists. Of course. Thank you, Sarah, for your service. yeah, early American Horror Story is so good. I liked the American Crime Story OJ season. I think he's got something, but yeah.

Definitely It's once he's too foreign, you can tell he just loses inspiration. He can't let go. He can't let go. Like, he to leave. loves money, which, hey. That's true. Like, Glee season, I think three is the last time it was good. I didn't go past that. It shouldn't have gone past that. think that, said... I think a lot of people disagree with you on that, but three seasons. You thought there should have only been three seasons of I think it got bad after that. But it did get bad in a way that brought us all together. That's true. But same with... But same.

Yeah, same with American Horror Story. American Crime Story, would dare to say the same thing. think that one with what was the name of the twins that he just did? That it was like a whole I don't know. It was like, wait, the one with Cori Savigne. Yeah. Can I entirely pivot this conversation to talk about Karen Reed? Yes. Big day for any Massachusetts person.

Hey, murderinos, it's a true crime podcast now. And we're going to tell you about the Karen Reed case. No, actually just we're in Massachusetts. So this is something that has been happening, a trial that's been going on in our state since 2022, I believe. And it's this that's when the incident occurred, yeah. This woman was being put on trial because her boyfriend, who's a cop, got murdered by other cops and they tried to pin it on her. And it's basically all this evidence has just continually come forward over the years of like...

all those cops, their phones were like, how to get rid of deadbody.com. Like literally they were all so stupid about it. They got rid of the dog that obviously attacked him. Yeah. If Google it, but today she is free. She walks free with only a DUI for whatever reason. They peppered that in somewhere throughout the trial, but she, she's not going to jail for not murdering her boyfriend. She definitely didn't do. And now also hopefully we can get on a path towards

The SWAMP (20:16.574)
fucking cops being held accountable for their actions. is like one crumb, but I'll take it. give it maybe six months until Ryan Murphy sticks his little fingers into that and makes the series about this. I mean, the current dramatization of real life events is feeling so dystopian to me. Like opening up my HBO and seeing the Luigi Mangione documentary, that should be illegal. His trial should get thrown out now.

That doesn't make any sense. How is that not interference? Like it's wild to me. crazy times we're living in, but if you're interested to read about the Karen Reed case, it's just wrapped up. So you can kind of get the beginning to end story. Listen, once she writes that book, at least she's going to be a millionaire. So she's probably riding high for the rest of her life. She'll get her bag. It exceptionally traumatic, but I'm happy for her. I'm super happy. Happy for everyone in Massachusetts today. Yeah.

What was I gonna say though? Taking down some pigs. Yeah, for real. But basically we're talking about the movie The Hunger. Can I do another hard pivot? Yeah. While we're in hard pivot city. Did you clock the jump scare in this movie? Did you clock Mr. Willem Dafoe? Willem Dafoe? Mr. Willem Dafoe. I literally like paused and I rewound it and I was like, I know those teeth. I feel the honey. I know that jaw. It was the jaw.

Mm-hmm. I was like, I know that man. And yeah, I was like, what? And then I Googled it and then I got the whole little fun factoid that I guess I just keep wanting to call him Ridley. Tony, Tony Scott. Tony Scott like really fought for Willem Dafoe to get this one line role in this movie and they like didn't want him for whatever reason. probably also like on his way in terms of acting at this point, 1983.

Yeah, right? So, I was like, was he just on set? I was like, was he filming something next door? And they were like, hey, get over here. Do you wanna do a line? Like, you wanna do a line in this vampire movie? And he was like, yeah, sure. He looked sexy to me still. I was glad to see him pop up, you know? I'm not mad about it. It couldn't get any better after Susan Sarandon, and yet they gave us that too. Exactly. Exactly. I didn't think it could get hornier. And there's big swinging Dick Willem Dafoe on my screen.

The SWAMP (22:33.422)
my god. They should have had him get all shriveled up. I bet that would be a sight. I wish. I wish. No, I love... I don't know that I'd really seen anything else with David Bowie in it before. Have you watched? He only has a couple of movies. Sure, The Man Who Fell to Earth. I know that one. Yup. There's also one that is just like a Ziggy Stardust movie and it's primarily his music. And I think he's in something else too, but Labyrinth, of course.

Of course, well, yes. We covered that on the pod if you'd like to rewind and listen, but... He's not only in Crossing Over Willem Dafoe in this movie, but apparently he's also in The Last Temptation of Christ. Didn't you know? I did watch that movie recently, actually. Did you actually? Who does he play in that? I have no idea.

I didn't realize how many. Yeah, he's in the Basquiat movie. I forget that he plays. Wait, he plays some fucking Alan Turing, think in. no, no, no. He plays Nikola Tesla. He plays Nikola Tesla in The Prestige and the Christopher Nolan movie The Prestige. That's what my most notable David Bowie discography pull. Hold on. Let me find. I can't believe you watched he was in Zoolander. How was that?

I guess he was in Twin Peaks Fire Walk with me. Oh, The Last Scentation of Christ. I definitely just wanted to watch Willem Dafoe be Jesus. He plays Pontius Pilate, dog. That's crazy. He even clocked David Bowie as Pontius Pilate. I guess not. Yeah, I also watched that as a thirst swatch, but I don't think I got further than an hour in.

I couldn't take a Harvey Keitel as Judas. That was a lot wait, I love that. I love that boxed dye they put in his hair. That was hilarious. It was hilarious. Why is Judas a ginger? Wait, let me Google David Bowie in as Paunch's pilot. I bet it looks sexy. Obviously. they also gave him some boxed hair dye. That's kind of crazy. Yeah, he does look good. I'm pulling him up. Whoa.

The SWAMP (24:41.454)
I actually probably wouldn't have even clocked him. Yeah. He looks so He looks really different. I mean, he's just, he's got, he's got a crazy bowl cut. That's what it is. David Bowie as an actor, I'm going to say gets a pass on the pass fail system, but overall does not impress me, but I'm not mad to see him. Right? Like a soft, soft neutral stance. I thought he was good in this, because it was mostly like,

He may be like 15. Like right, was kind of leaning into his aesthetic as well. And then it was just like old man makeup on him. So it didn't really matter. was like very, you know, cool and musical. you're come in, we're gonna put you in some cool sunglasses. then we're gonna aid you. And then you're gonna pee your pants and we're gonna put you in a box. Right. And then that's the first half. And then we're, it's a wrap, honey. And that's it. You don't see him again until like the very end skin it blows. comes out of the box.

until they all come out of the box, which is how the movie ends. Of course. Susan Sarandon says, honey, I don't want to be a vampire. I'm getting my blood tests done. And they do the blood test, and they say, this is weird. And she says, well, I don't want to be a vampire. And Susan Sarandon says, or then Miriam, it's like, you hungry? And she's like, I actually am. And she's like, here is a prostitute, because society doesn't care about them. So we just get to eat them. And Susan Sarandon's like, please, no. And then she's like, well, here's your boyfriend. And she's like, I could have a snack. And then she eats.

She eats her boyfriend, question mark? Her boyfriend was like being incredibly- shitty boyfriend. I was being so hostile towards her at this dinner and basically was like, why did you have a three hour conversation with this woman? Which is such an incredibly pointed- He could smell the pussy staying still on her mouth. And she keeps being like, say what you mean. And he's like, I just don't see what you could have been talking about for three hours. And she's like, say what you mean. And he's like-

pissed me off. But so yeah, then she eats him and she's like, okay, vampirism, I get it, but I still don't want to be under your thrall girlfriend. And so she's not really into this whole arrangement. And so then she unks herself in the face and dies. because Miriam like also gets some of Susan's Redden's blood like in her and on her like during this dispute, it undoes her.

The SWAMP (26:59.818)
eternal vampirism and all the ex-husbands get to rise up and like- queen bees essentially. Right. There can only be one. And all it took was, I don't understand what was so specific. Because they drank each other's blood before. No, because I don't- Is it the Ankh? Is it all about the Ankh? Is it all an Egyptian thing? Because they did not explain that well enough. No, so it was-

Because she drank her half vampire blood or something like that, they now switch or some shit like that. This is all based on a book, apparently, which I think did give you more of the lore behind it. But you get none of that here. You don't even realize that Susan Sarandon lives until, you know, essentially like this tacked on afterthought of a scene.

But essentially it's, yeah, so she becomes now a half vampire. So she's able to die. And I think what it is is that David Bowie has managed to get out of his crate upstairs and unlocked everyone else and said, girl, we're gonna get you. Missed And a zombie vampire hog onto her and that's the end. Yeah, she falls six flights of stairs down, smacks her fucking pelvis on the ground and rapidly ages and dies.

quote unquote, dies. But essentially what happened was they that should have been the movie. That was the first cut. Essentially what happened, this tested really well with audiences, but the studio wanted the option to do a sequel. Sequel.

that. Exactly. that's to leave it open ended. that's why you Susan surrounded in her penthouse in London with her two little vampire slugs. Yeah. So lame. Whatever. Yeah. Apparently it's a lot better if you just stop it right there and don't technically finish the movie. But yeah, apparently a lot of the people that worked on this movie were pretty pissed about that whole thing. I feel like as they should have been.

The SWAMP (29:05.112)
Especially if you're under the impression that the story you're telling is one thing and then they were like, actually, some testing said we should do it this other way, so that's what we're gonna do. And you're like, the testing, what the fuck do they know? You know, I'm the person who's been making this thing for a long time. I could see how that would be really fucking frustrating. Absolutely, absolutely. One of my favorite like sequence of events in this movie. Please. I think it's like right after he gets, he leaves the hospital.

And he's like, I have been aging so fast and I'm so hungry. And so David Bowie, old vampire David Bowie is like stumbling around town looking for a snack. And he like at first is like in a men's bathroom and he's like, ooh, I'm gonna get you. And then he's like, just kidding, maybe not. And he like stumbles out and he's like hungry. And this is what all ends up leading to him killing the violin student, which is.

Sort of weird because it's like he has several opportunities to kill people he doesn't know. And then obviously then he's like, I'm going to do the strategic thing and kill this child. Which is like, fucked. But there's this intermediate section where we get, we get this like music number with this roller skater. And what is being intercut there? It's like the roller skater is getting like overlay shots of like maybe Susan Sarandon doing science or something. for some reason. like that. it's just. of overlay shots. That's for sure. It's this.

empty warehouse and it's like this cool 80s person with like a boombox like doing this cool like roller skating dance aerobics routine. big hair, tiny shorts on this man. Fitted up just like so cool. Then David Bowie just like shows up and it's like, I'm gonna kill ya. And then he gets him but then he just slashes him and then he runs away like they have a scuffle. They just like leaves him and I'm like, I love.

but they worked backwards so hard. They're like, so how do we find a reason to put like a cool roller skater in for like nine minutes? David Bowie gets him. Ah, no, well then people are gonna be sad. So David Bowie doesn't get him. He just kind of gets him and we leave him. Cause then we can all imagine that he's roller skating forever, you know? I love that the roller skater didn't even go after David Bowie. David Bowie just runs off and like he's essentially like kind of A hundred.

The SWAMP (31:22.318)
David Bowie's old as fuck. I'm like, you could chase them. You're on wheels. You're beat his ass, dog.

The SWAMP (31:31.298)
think I'm hungry for some chocolate or vanilla honey. Let's get hungry for some decisions. I don't know, Jen's here. She's gonna do her interim podcast segment, chocolate or vanilla. You don't know who Jen is? What, are you fucking new here or something? She's my mom, duh. And she invented this game, which is just a decisions game. She says two things. We all just say which one we like better. Hoot, holler, grand old time. Jen, is there theme this week? There is a theme and it will be a recurring theme because...

This is summer of 76 versus 84. Ooh, ye olde debate. So, years. This is between you and my father and the prompt is objectively or personally? Like, your personal opinion or do you objectively believe that this is the best year? Which one is it? Personal opinion. Yeah. So he claims that 76 is best. Comprehensively, what is the best year for music?

Right. For all music. The entire year had to have come out that year. What's the best year? And you, you say 84. And Gary, my dad says 76. 76. So and you tasked us, you said send me a playlist with 10 songs. So I immediately made a playlist with 10 songs. But then

Gary won't make a playlist with 10 songs because he's like, I can't pick the right 10. There's too many. It's more about how many there are and like the different genres, which he's not wrong. But I came to a big life. What's it when you figure out something about yourself? Epiphany? Yeah, an epiphany. If someone gives me an assignment, I am going to finish it.

I don't care if it's not the best. like, I'm just going to, I have my 10. I was going to send it out, but he didn't make one. So I'm just going to, so anyway, I'm going to do that. is actually, that is true. That is an aha. That is genetic. have that. was discussing with a friend who was talking about asking for an extension on a paper in his graduate program. And I was like, I have never done that. I have never asked for an extension. think I,

The SWAMP (33:38.958)
to take a final late because I had a kidney infection. So I've had like a medical bump, but I've never. I know you struggled with like asking for that too. You would have gotten it done. I would have gone and I did one of them. And that's why I knew I had a kidney infection because my professor was like, you need to leave. You're like vomiting on the floor as you handed it. That was the last night. They were like, girl.

Your Latin 103 exam is not that important. But I was like, yeah, I've never done that. Like that is just something that I will always rather it be done than good or like having the feeling, I don't know. I'll finish, I'm gonna finish the assignment. Even if it's not entirely correct, I'm gonna finish it. I'm gonna hand it in. Oh, you two made Better done than good. Maybe you it's still good though. A great team on the Amazing Race. think with that kind of attitude. Not physically. Or emotionally.

could see you doing fine, but you would have like a really fucked up accident like the pumpkin in the face. Would be like, both of us would be too nervous to ask anyone for help. Like we were just discussing how Jen got a coffee that was so horrendous. It's like neither of us would ever send anything back, but it was like so bad they almost wanted to be like

just so you guys know, please don't serve this to anyone else kind of levels of bad. And both of us just like awkwardly sat there. We're like, what do we do? What do we say? So yet the amazing race would not go well. We'd be at the airport. We'd be like, wait, I don't know. I think could do it. But back to the, so I am going to do this a few times and then I'm gonna see in the end who scores better, 76 or 84. Can I? Okay. It would be a recurring theme.

I have a question for you. This blends perfect. Can you tell me about Bruce Springsteen? Yeah, this is really important. biopic trailer just came out. Go watch it if you haven't, Jen. Like a biopic. Boring. He sounds just fucking like him though, it's crazy. He's just soundless fucking like him. Who's playing him again? Jeremy Allen White. The bear. Yep, the bear.

The SWAMP (35:49.13)
he sounds just like him. The album Born in the USA came out in 1984. sure did. Yeah. So I'm assuming we're gonna touch on that again later. But is he as big of a deal? So that he needs his own biopic like I've seen. he's still living. Exactly. Like I've seen Bruce Springsteen. He's great. He still could get it. And he kicks ass still at like 70 whatever years old he is running around that stage. But

as a young person don't feel like I have the same amount of respect for him in the way that like a David Bowie or like a Queen or you know Elton John or something like that which mind you I know he's more on like the rough and tumble rock side of it and he's like I don't know.

closer to fucking Dave Matthews band in my head. Yeah. Like, listen, not Elton John, but way better than Dave Matthews band. At that time, he was the guy. He was the guy. He was the boss. Yes, it certainly was. I have a friend who was really, really big Springsteen fan, but yeah, he was it. was like MTV and the videos and the live performances. And oh my God, RIP to my dad, greatest guy ever. Loved the song, Dancing in the Dark.

Mm-hmm, that's a good one. And he would just like at weddings, he would go absolutely crazy dancing to it and stuff. So but yes, he was he was the deal. He was the real deal back then. So OK, OK. Because it is starting to feel like have we run through the discography of iconic musicians like I he's iconic, but I'm like, we can just stop making biopics. We don't just need to find people who are literally still fucking alive. I'm like, he could do something. He could really.

pop off in his final years and then your documentary won't accurately reflect that. maybe wait. There was another movie like kind of based on his work at one point and I can't remember the name. was a book and that was a movie and it was like quirky and like about some kid who coming of age, know, but Bruce Springsteen themed or something. And then what else? E Street Band, Clarence Clements. Of course. Best saxophone player ever. Ever. Yeah. Okay.

The SWAMP (38:02.818)
I needed to thank you. He's one of those ones where it's like, I felt like I knew him because my mom and that was it. Yeah. I don't feel like he's made his way into my life in the same way that like other iconic artists from the 80s have. Like I feel like Pat Benatar had more of an effect on me than Bruce Springsteen did. I would put them at the same level. Yeah. Okay. For sure. So chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Vanilla. Chocolate. Okay. All right. So I did one that was

two versus two. So I'm going to say chocolate and chocolate chip or vanilla and strawberry. So these are two things that pair together. So you're going to give us two choices, but it's really four, but I'm going to say chocolate and chocolate chip. Ooh, I'm going to go vanilla strawberry. That's an iconic duo. I'm going to go vanilla strawberry also. So I also had another epiphany. I say chocolate every single time. And I know I've brought this up, but every time there's cupcakes at work for somebody's birthday, I take the vanilla one instead of the chocolate one. What? think

Cupcakes is a different ramen itself. Okay. So I think that's a lot in one bite of anything. I'm going to say I'm going to agree with you. All right. Afternoon Delight by Starlight local band. my God. Starlight vocal band or For the Longest Time by Billy Joel.

I really like Billy Joel. So I do think I will be picking Billy Joel. I just think of that, you know, Glee, obviously. Afternoon Delight is like, I'm closing my eyes and I'm watching that episode of Glee right now. no, Billy, Billy Joel. I was at a show recently and the guitarist's string broke in the show, so somebody had to restring it. And so they were like, what do we do? You we have to change the set or whatever. And she's like, would you guys mind if I did a Billy Joel cover? And I was like, I was like,

think every artist should have to do a Billy Joel cover. Honestly, that's how I feel. I think I'm actually gonna go, don't get me wrong. I love Billy Joel. That's not my favorite song by him, even though I think harmonically it's gorgeous. But the joy that I get from hearing afternoon delight play in a public space, just on a random Tuesday.

The SWAMP (40:11.95)
just doesn't compare. I'm to go- does make it onto like the Marshall's playlist and it's like, y'all do know that this song is just about fucking, right? But I guess we all just accept that. I love it. I love it. It's like everyone's in on the joke, but no one's going to say anything. I'm going to, yeah, I'll go, I'll go after no delight. Okay. These are all going to be really hard for me, but I will, and I'm not going to pick 84 every time just to make my point, but I will pick Billy Joel on this one. And that's fair. All right. Next one. Take the money and run.

by Steve Miller Band or Glamorous Life by Sheila E. Glamorous Life by Sheila E. I love that song. you need to, you do not listen to the Prince version. Listen to the Sheila E version that is seven and a half minutes long. Seven and a half minutes is the perfect length for any song. I'm putting my foot down. That's correct. I want the five minute drum solo. Give it to me. That's what she's there for. It's Sheila E.

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you, Dara on this one. Yeah, same. Same. I love both these songs, but I love Glamorous Life. Okay, the next one is a two-pack. So, You're My Best Friend and Somebody To Love by Queen or I Wanna Break Free and Radio Gaga. Also by Queen, I feel like I'm gonna pick the second one, Radio Gaga and I Want To Break Free. I think those songs just excite me more. I really love I Wanna Break Free. I do love the video, of course.

Mm-hmm. But I love Radio Gaga. And then what was it? I honestly think the song You're My Best Friend really irks me. Really? I don't know why. I just find it like really annoying. But somebody to love is so, so, so good. Shit, Jed. Especially good when Anne Hathaway is singing it at the end of Ella Enchanted. With the Giants. That's what I always think of when I hear that song. I think I'm going to go.

the first option with somebody to love and best friend. Best friend. Yeah. Because I think somebody to love trumps everything. I thought this one was so hard, but Radio Gaga is my favorite Queen song. It's really good. I'm gonna have to do that. Next one is Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Reflex by Duran Duran. I mean, it's kind of a Duran Duran era, but I love Rhiannon by...

The SWAMP (42:28.268)
Fleetwood Mac. I've actually, I Tusk has been my Fleetwood Mac song of the moment. That has been my go-to. That's one of my all-times from them. I fucking love Tusk. Great for a drummer. Of course, which is why yeah, yeah, exactly. I'll go Rihanna on this one too though, for sure. That's iconic, obviously. All right, I'll go with you guys, but it is hard to go against Duran Duran. Next one is Fox on the Run by Sweet or 99 Left Balloons by Nina.

I don't know if I know Fox on the Run by Sweet. do, you'd know it if you heard it. But I know I know 99 Love Lover. Love that song. I love when that one comes up in a movie. I'm thinking specifically of Boogie Nights because we watched it pretty recently, but I feel like that's in a couple of iconic movies for sure. For some reason, I feel like that song is connected to Bill Hader for me and I love Bill Hader. It's not from anything. Like I always think of the intro to the Skeleton Twins movie, but he's not even playing that when he's playing.

What's that song? Danny, no, I can't. I'm I don't know what you're talking. What's skeleton movie? I don't know what you're talking about. The Skeleton Twins with Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader. they both play like Bill Hader just had a suicide attempt as Kristen Wiig has like a failing relationship and they're just two weird sets of twins or one weird set of twins. Anyways, I've never heard of this. Not even little.

It is, it's really good. But yeah, 99 Lift Balloons, I think is the correct answer here. Yeah, same. Bum ba dum, bum ba dum. Next one is She's Gone by Hall & Oates or Out of Touch by Hall & Oates. I'd like to pick the third. I can't go for that. I don't even know, like neither of these really like pop into my mind. You know, She's Gone. And then what was the other one? She's Gone or...

like that one. I like that one because that's from the album with the blue behind them and the two and their heads. Yes. I know I listen to that one a lot. Yes. I like that one. Sorry girls. I'm playing things because I have to be for myself. Wait, I already like She's Gone. Yeah. I really like that funky dance beat. Yeah, I'll go for that one. Yeah, I'll go for that one too. Next one is Shake Your Booty by KC and the Sunshine Band or Give It Up by KC and the Sunshine Band.

The SWAMP (44:45.038)
Shake your booty for posterity. Yeah, absolutely shake your booty. I'm gonna go with give it up That was my favorite Casey and sunshine band song

The SWAMP (44:57.55)
Give it up, give it up. that's actually that is their most streamed song on Spotify. I would've guessed Boogie Shoes. Yeah, but I think that's just my Boogie Shoes. Yeah, that's just me. That's our experience.

Daris said that Casey and the Sunshine Band was a one-hit wonder and Gary proceeded to play every Casey and the Sunshine Band song on the way home. leveled me. I said one-hit wonder and he said, you're sitting here for the next 20 minutes with Mr. Sunshine and his band. And that's, you know. And they're robust to discography, okay. Next one is You Should Be Dancing.

by the Bee Gees or Footloose by Kenny Loggins. I am gonna pick the Bee Gees. Yeah, I like the Bee Gees more. Out of principle, I'm going Bee Gees. Yeah, Bee Gees for sure. Next one is Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult or I Want a New Drug by Huey Lewis and the Newts. Blue Oyster Cult. Yeah, I'm not really a Huey Lewis guy, but I do like Blue Oyster Cult. Yeah, I'll go with Blue Oyster Cult too. Last one, Fernando by Abba or Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar.

Love is a Battlefield covered by Jordan Sparks on whatever season of American Idol she won. That was on my iPod shuffle. No, but I'm definitely picking ABBA. I'm Pat on this one. I'm going to go with... What was the ABBA song? Fernando. That's one of my least favorites, honestly. I just think of Cher singing it. So yeah, I'm going Pat. Yeah, I'll go with Pat also. So like I said, more to come, but that was...

First song was 74, 76, second song was 84. Okay, well, what's the tally for? I don't know, I'm gonna have to go back and listen to it. perfect. I do think 84 is winning though, from the vibes of this conversation. I think so. I agree. I would have to fully tally, but let us know if you're listening and you have a rival best year in music argument just for whatever.

The SWAMP (47:02.03)
personal or objective. I still haven't landed on mine. It might be like 2001. I mean, obviously you just pick something from a time when you were alive that was like very influential. girl, it be 2015. It would need to sit on it. Absolutely not 2015. There's some heat. I don't know. I have no idea exactly. But yeah, let us know if you have any musical thoughts or chocolate or vanilla themes for the future or if you want to listen.

to Jen's playlist. I don't know, just Google 1984 playlist and you can probably find it on Spotify. Jen, thank you for being here. Thank you for providing us with some musical decisions to make. We love you and we'll see you next week. I love you guys. Have an awesome night. Bye, Jen. Bye. Did you get down? One of the things that really stuck out to me during the title credits, besides Susan Sarandon's name, was the fact that they credited the makeup artist with makeup illusions.

Makeup illusions. Okay. Which I think, I do think for 1980, what do we say three? Yeah. The makeup in this was fantastic. Really good. Amazing. I really liked the effects of the aging and like him pulling out his hair and stuff. thought it was all, it didn't take me out of it too much, but it was also not like, I don't know, so real that it was upsetting. Like, you know what I mean? It still looked kind of hokey and like rubbery and, I don't know.

added to the texture of the scene, cause all of it was very stylized. I loved it. I loved the costumes as well. I thought that the outfits were so cool, especially. Well the sets too. Miriam on her gorgeous house. Yeah. So cool. I was less impressed by Miriam's house. I did like Miriam's house, but it was kind of giving the ghost effect to me. Like girl, what are you doing with all that space? What the fuck? But Susan Sarandon's house. my God.

That shower scene with her, first of all, obviously, Susan's running in the shower. But she's getting out and it's like all these blue lights surrounded by this giant panel of mirrors. And it's so hot and sexy in 80s, dude. My God. There are also several scenes or like shots of somebody like in front of a really cool bar cart. And it happens twice in two separate locations of like a lit up like swivel bar cart of the martini supplies or whatever. Yes. Yeah.

The SWAMP (49:24.564)
So cool. And then it happens again with a different cool bar cart in a different room. We just needed to point that out. Yeah. Capitalism was alive and well in 1983. Yeah. Gorgeous though. did really, I do sort of wish we got, this is very much like a goth cult classic, I guess, from what I read about it. I wish we got a little more goth in it. I feel like it starts off really strong with the club.

and everything like that, but then it takes it to a very aristocratic sort of place. Yes, and then the music lessons, we get all these flashbacks of David Bowie in this Mozart ponytail. Yeah. And yeah, definitely vibe shifts and it tonally still keeps the kind of creepy and I think the music does have a good pull through. and the lurking aspect. I wanted more, I think that they should have swapped out, take out the whole...

Violin child scene and have it be like the DJ at the club. Yes, please. The saxophone player at the goth club and that's who your next bitch is gonna be. I don't know. Bring the conflict back to the club, please, because I'm trying to get there. It was a really cool intro. It was really sick. People don't stay in cages anymore. I mean, I guess I'm just not going to clubs that have cages. I I actually went to a club the other day, also a goth club.

And they had go-go dancers. No cages. But there were go-go dancers, which I love and respect. And you know what? I shouldn't be over here saying such pro cage rhetoric when maybe the go-go dancers want to be freed, okay? Exactly. They've got to move their arms, you know? You can't be boxed in. You got to let them move and groove. It is really impressive to watch, though. Like, I don't know. Like, I can maybe dance for like 20 minutes.

or something like that before I'm like, okay, I need a break. Those girls go for hours. Right, and like hard. Yeah, because you're putting on a performance. Yeah, professional dancers of all sorts are like athletes. learned recently, I was learning about stripper classes and you'd go do like the stripper pole classes. The pole spins. I didn't know that the pole spun. I didn't either. When a dancer is on the pole, the pole,

The SWAMP (51:42.496)
it's on like another pole and you grab it and it spins and that's why they're spinning. They're not just oiled up. I thought that they were just greasy and that they were so strong and that they were just greasy and that's why they could spin on the pole. But the pole is spinning. I never knew that. I didn't know that either until just now. Which makes sense. makes so much sense. Because you do just have to hold yourself up and then use momentum to swing the pole. I thought they were slithering their bodies. Yeah, that's what I assumed as well. Huh. Yeah.

Learn something new every day. Yeah, learn something new every day, I guess. Shows how often the two of us are at the club. Engaging. Yeah. At the strip club. I'm going to a drag queen is hosting like a thing at a club and I had some friends who wanted to go, but the theme is beach sluts. And so I was like looking at the bathing suits I own and I'm like, I don't think any of these could be categorized as beach slut. I was like, what am I going to wear to the beach slut party? I'm like, I dress like a grandma. I don't know.

Yeah, and it's tough, because I feel like especially if it's a club thing, you kind of want a one piece, because it's basically... But I'm also not just gonna wear a swimsuit out in public either. You have to wear a normal outfit. You have to get a bodysuit. I'm just gonna wear shorts and a tank top or something. I'm gonna be the least slutty bitch at the beach slut party and that's okay. I know myself. Fair enough, fair enough. Who's the queen though?

Morphine Love Dion. We love Morphine Love Dion in this house. She is a lip sync diva and she's from Florida. So she's very, very beat. She's over Miami. Is this a Boston show? Is this Providence? No, this is Providence. It's one of the feral parties though. A of Dinkoff. Yes, yes, yes.

I'm going to take a moment to shout out one of my favorite drag queens, Tara Dickoff. You guys should go follow her. She's from Boston. She's local. She's not been on the shows, but you should follow her social. She's so funny. She bikes like to the gig. I love it. full drag and her full mug. She's like on her bike. It's amazing. She takes these videos. She's just amazing. You should give her a follower. She's also like activist. She's a community organizer. She's really fucking cool. Shouts out Tara Dickoff. Link in the description below.

The SWAMP (53:54.466)
My coworker lives like right next to her too. So I know she's hauling We should show up. She's hauling ass over that Cambridge bridge. You know where she lives. We should show up and ask her to be on the pod. Honestly, she just might. at her house. She just might. Shout out. Well, we have a mutual friend who was actually on the pod. Nervous, who real name David James, but drag queen nervous. This is our labyrinth episode. Yes, literally our labyrinth episode. It's perfect.

I'll also put nervous, our friend David who is now nervous, David James who is now nervous the drag queen, I'll also put their drag queen stuff below. please go follow them, amazing, amazing queen. Some of the coolest events that I've been to is totally done by them and they're also like actively in drag doing the event besides just running it. So really impressive stuff.

If you're from Massachusetts, get into the drag scene over here. Or anywhere, where ever you live. Like I always have so much better of a time going and watching the local, like I don't really like the club and I don't like to go out, but going and seeing live drag is so much better than anything on TV. Like I love Drag Race. I'm more than the next bitch probably, but it's, I don't know. It's something very cool about going out into your community and meeting real people and watching people perform.

in real life and it's very moving and cool and fun. And you should try it because the world is really scary and sometimes you don't want to do those things. I know, I know, but then you do them and you're like, I'm glad I did that. So. Exactly. Yeah. Support local drag. That's what. Exactly. Speaking of not quite local anymore, but have you seen the new casting for Mary? Miss Jakes Monsoon stepping into the role. Yes. So we're going to get tickets. Titus wasn't in it for very long.

It was- Did Titus do it? It was Cole Escola and then it was Titus Burgess. And now it's James Monsoon. I feel like the show is getting a rapid turnover of really like big stars. sure. It's a huge role that I'm sure a lot of people- It's not a musical, right? It's a play? It's a play, I believe. It's a play. Yeah. I think that opens up a lot of opportunities for some really amazing queer performers to go on and do it. So yeah, that doesn't shock me. I feel like that'll be one that-

The SWAMP (56:15.162)
gets rifled through just a train ran on that roll. Yeah, I would love to go see it. It looks phenomenal. The last time I was in the city, it was just a little out of my price range to see, but that was still, you know, I think when it was. you're fucked. Yeah, exactly. Right. So like now we got to wait until it comes like an off Broadway tour or we got to just like put on a community version in Worcester. Exactly.

Yeah, at the, oh my god, the Hanover Theater. course. Shall we get into our regular scheduled programming though? Fuck Mary Kill. There's an easy three. Miriam, David Bowie, Susan Sarandon. Yes. Ooh, okay, I feel like I gotta, do we gotta factor in like the vampirism of it all?

because I'm like, do I kill the head vampire, but then do I have to become the head vampire? I don't know if I wanna be the head vampire. I think I It's only if she makes you a vampire as I wanna be one of Susan Sarandon's 300 year bitches, because I feel like she's gonna be a real one and she's gonna be like, hey.

Here's the heads you're gonna rot. And what was the whole thing that they couldn't die? Because David Bowie kept being like, please put me out of my misery. And she kept being like, I can't. Was that just because she was selfish and wanted all of her it's because they can't die. The corpses, they can't die. That's the whole thing. Because essentially what you do is you become so fragile and brittle that you can barely move or whatever, which I mean plot hole because they all sort of attack her But is there, even, even, I was gonna say even.

destroying the body. Like there's no way, you're telling me there's no way. I think it's the idea of your consciousness lives on for eternity even without like a physical being. Sure, I guess. Maybe I don't want that then, but I feel like Susan Sarandon, we're gonna use, what is it? A hypothesis? We're gonna use the scientific method. My hypothesis is that we can figure out a way to get the old vampires to die.

The SWAMP (58:11.534)
just destroy the body or burn them or something. And you have 300 years to figure it out. Right, I'm like, let's hang out for 300 years to figure it out and then ask me when it's time. Not that modern medicine is gonna come into play here because you know it's vampires, but do know how fast medicine evolves? I we've only had it for like 100 years, maybe. When did we even know that germs were a thing? Like the 30s, we haven't hit 100 years on germs yet. And you're telling me you've been around since ancient Egypt?

And you couldn't figure out lazy bones. you what? don't need a selfish lover. I'm gonna kill Miriam. I think I am too. And then I think I'm gonna marry Susan Surrendon and I'm gonna fuck David Bowie. Obviously. And even I would prefer to fuck young David Bowie from the goth club. But when he was old and shriveled and if he was like, please one last time, please, please.

I'm gonna age 10 years in the next 10 seconds. Will you please just make me know it one more time? And Miriam was me some sloppy. She like gave him, she like went for it for a second, but then she sort of is like, this is not, and then she like- And then she like carries him to the attic. I feel like I'd be like, I'll bounce on it crazy style one last time for you, John. Like Ray, It's the least I could do. the least I could do. If you can't actually kill him and put him out of his misery, let him fucking nut it out.

before I put him in this box forever. That shit's coming out like dust. Yeah. Yeah, obviously. It's like dry. It's like scabs. my God, no, literally Nosferatu style dick. my God. Well. I would love to see those two get together, really freak it out. I've been wanting to rewatch that one again.

That's already, I've been coming up. I've already seen it three times. took Beowulf out at the library and I was like, do you know? And they had no fucking clue what I was talking about. I was like, this director is gonna make this movie and he's gonna do it so accurately. And they were like, I don't know what you're talking about. was like, you wait, just you wait. There's gonna be the best Beowulf movie. Keep it on your radar, 2029, probably it'll come out. And then if we open it up for the...

The SWAMP (01:00:25.612)
whole movie. Not that there's a whole other lot of options, but I would like to suck the soul out of Willem Dafoe in this one. real? Phone booth youth number two, or whatever he's probably said. by me. I'm a him and then I'm still gonna marry Susan and I'll kill. Who am gonna kill? Actually, I'll kill the cop. Because he's a cop. I don't want to get tangled up.

in this vampirism business because this brand of vampirism is not really seeming like I'm gonna, I don't like this. It's not all that glamorous, honestly. they can't eat regular food. Some vampires can eat regular food. These vampires seem to retch and I'm like, but they can drink sherry. You can drink sherry, but you can't, she can't eat her steak. I'm like, that's, that's Yeah, her bloody steak, come on. That's where I draw the line. But I, in real life, am married to an animal research person. So I feel like I gotta just stick with what I know.

I'm gonna marry Susan Sarandon's coworker. Rippin' cigs inside. They were studying those monkeys. the one with the glasses? Yes. I'm gonna marry him. feel like we're gonna vibe. He had good swag. And so then I'm gonna fuck Susan Sarandon and then I'll kill... Maybe I'll kill that FBI agent too. Sure. Or... The child.

No, the child gets to live. Because that was my whole bothersome point of this movie is that I was like, that didn't really need to happen. No. Yeah. I'll just kill the FBI agent to fuck them. Fair enough. Speaking of Sherry, what are you going to drink with this? Like it is tough. I don't really like Sherry either. But this movie does make me want to drink it because she's like, got to try it. And I'm like, maybe I She said, you'll like this one. like it. And I said, my pants are already down.

Do you have a better solution than sherry? don't really, this is a- Not really, I found a cocktail that utilizes sherry and I think you'll like the sound of it actually. okay. It's called a London Calling and this is circa likable cocktails on TikTok. But I think since we end up in Sarah's London flat, I'll take it. But it's pretty simple. It's a half ounce of simple syrup, lemon juice and Fino sherry.

The SWAMP (01:02:46.28)
dashes of bitters and you're a gin girl, ounce and a half of London dry gin. Shake it with ice and strain it and it sounds pretty nice. Sure, I don't see why not. I'd certainly try that. And then to pair with it, I wanna sort of reference the movie at least because there's that one scene, the dinner scene where he's like, you're not eating your steak and you sent the clams back, obviously.

but I think keeping it simple with some garlic steamed clams sounds like a really nice idea. You get the clams reference, you get to watch them dike out with their own clams, of course. And it also is very much like, at least to me, and I'm not a seafood person, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, it feels kind of like a well-to-do dish, know? It's like nothing fancy, but rich people would love it. And like, yes, you said classy. It sort of gives me the posh vibe that we get from Miriam and John.

And also it's covered in garlic butter, which apparently wouldn't even affect them because they're the classy vampires. Other than the fact it would make them wretch because they can't eat food. I'm so hung up on that. So I think you should just, when I'm having a hunger, when I'm Susan Sarandon up in the billowing canopy bed, I hope doubled over because I'm having a hunger. I'm like, what do I have? just think you should. No, I'm excited to hear what you have to say. Oh, I think you should just make like the most

gluttonous sandwich that you can conjure up. Whatever your heart desires. I love, you get a good bread going, you get your meat component, and then just go from there. You can really fuck around. I would wanna do maybe some sort of cured meats. So maybe a prosciutto, but also a bacon. We're getting gluttonous as fuck with this sandwich is what I'm saying. A jam in there maybe. A jam and a mayo, fuck it. Toast the bread with mayo, fuck it.

Knowing you, was really interested to see if you were going to say a baked ziti because I know that's your... ziti? That's your word. When I'm having a hunger, I need... No, that's more when I'm having a depression stoop. make a baked ziti. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Because then you know it'll feed you because it's like a comfort meal in the way that's also kind of like autism meal when it's like I can't eat something that's not this exact food. I need to the same thing for the same meal like nine days in a row because I can just sense that about myself.

The SWAMP (01:05:08.846)
You know, I'm like, need ZD for every meal for the next couple of days. I can feel it. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm personally, I really love, I love a crispy prosciutto on my sandwich, honestly. Yeah. I'm feeling real bougie with it. I ham in a sandwich. I always crisp it up in the pan first. feel like ham and prosciutto are both too like, the softness of it is. I just, I, yeah, I don't love it. It's better crisped. It's better crisped. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. So I agree with you there. Any drink that speaks to you? I liked what you just said. I was honestly just gonna say you should watch drink sherry. that's really all it comes up in I don't think I've even had sherry before. Pisces, like a fruit punch. I don't know, blood. Yeah, from the McDonald's tap. Mm-hmm. Yeah, one of those. Okay, and what are you gonna follow it up with then? Part of me says The Hunger Games, but that is kind of stupid. I did want to watch

I immediately really wanted to watch the movie Daybreakers, which is Ethan Hawke is a vampire and it's about that the vampire race has succeeded and that there are now predominantly far more vampires than humans. they're like hunting the last humans. that sounds good. It's like a vampire food scarcity movie. Yeah. I'm really interested to see it. So I was watching the end of this one. was like, I kind of want

I should watch Daybreakers, so that's kind of where my mind went too. It's funny that you bring up Ethan Hawke because with the science in this and everything like that, it was giving Gattaca to me for a minute. Not that that's what I recommend. I think, and I don't know if I even recommend it, I feel like I recommended this last week, but I can't say. I think this, especially with the like, you belong to me sort of aspect of it, I think you watch Interview with a Vampire.

And it's very classic. It's very classic vampires. You know, they got the fangs, they got the wonky eyes, know, can't go out into the sun. I think, yeah, you go back and you reclaim the vampire. And I think it's the whole thing of like, Lestat is like decaying, but oh, no, he's not. He's back. There's enough through lines there that I think I could get behind it. And another There's some 80s in there too. There's Brad Pitt with his low pony going to the cinema in the 80s. He loves the cinema.

The SWAMP (01:07:22.35)
Yeah, interview. I gotta start the show. The more- I think, I will say- This month has just reinforced that I gotta watch the show. The show does give me more of the vibe that I think I would be looking for post this watch. Because I think Listaw is a lot more controlling, I guess. Okay. from what I've, from like the handful of episodes that I've seen, but- Wait, did you see that they're gonna give Tom Cruise an Oscar? They're just giving him one.

He's getting an honorary one next time. They already announced it. They're he gets one. just announced someone else is getting an honorary. Next time we do one of those, you can just have one. That's they said. so fucking stupid. I almost feel like this is because they're starting the stunt category this year. Oh yeah. I feel like they didn't want to make it seem like they made the category for him. So they're going to give him a separate award so that they can award somebody else in the stunt category. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, that's my that's my theory. Mm. Yeah. I don't know. Like, sure. Whatever. An honorary Oscar. Like, I'm sorry. mean, anything for what? A lifetime achievement award can be a separate thing. But an Oscar lifetime Oscar, they're just delegitimizing your whole institution. Not that they were ever very legitimate. They've given honorary Oscars before.

Or is this the first time? No, I think it's a thing. I think it's Because I know they the lifetime achievement stuff, but... All of it is stupid. Awards are stupid. But we should have our own awards show. I would give this movie award for best roller skater. Yeah, I think that's a good one. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Or maybe like most accurate portrayal of a hospital experience. Waiting. Yeah, honestly. And feeling like they forgot about you. Being like, should I ask someone if they forgot about me? You're like, my appointment was an hour ago. Uh-huh.

I have aged a hundred years. I'm going to give this movie honorary Oscar for God, honestly, for its lesbian sex. Yeah. Honorary lesbian sex. Yeah. Solid. We give them, we have our gay movie award ceremony and you get a little rose toy as the, we're like Susan Sarandon. You get a B'Lessa pocket vibe. Here you go, Diva.

The SWAMP (01:09:35.566)
Use promo code SWAMP, Blake. Susan Sarandon. And she would. Those triumphant titties of yours, Literally, And a hats off to that. Well, it's the whole thing of, they're still iconic. Have you seen the- Of and she knows it. And she knows it. She steps on another carpet. They get better with age. She pushes them up and they look phenomenal. think her daughter's tweeted, like, stop talking about my mom's boobs on my timeline.

I'll never stop. can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love this movie. It might be peak. I didn't even know it, but this movie might be peak Susan Sarandon. I think. Titty. Yeah. Honestly, just an honorary Oscar just for Susan Sarandon. White shirt, no bra. Yeah. Yeah. It's in her contract. Exactly. Yeah. Best performance by a white t-shirt. Yeah. And then the actual movie, I'm going to give like a six out of 10. I liked it. Yeah, it was good.

I enjoyed it. did think like some of the weird lore about Egyptian, like that all needed could have been taken out. I just would have loved something to be a little more Pick something more centric, yeah. And then the whole like grooming the child, we're gonna talk about it without ever really addressing it and then she'll just get murdered so it doesn't matter kind of thing. whatever. Pacing, weird as fuck. But ultimately, like a pretty cool movie to look at. Yeah. a pretty different take on vampirism that I was at least somewhat interested to see.

this world building that they were doing because it was somewhat unique. We've a really good variety this month, I would say, in terms of like types of vampires. And so if there are any other gay vampire movies that I didn't know about, please let me know about them because we're trying to fulfill them this month. And I honestly thought this one was just going to get the pass because of David Bowie, but it turns out we did get bump and clamps. So if it turns out Bram Stoker's Dracula,

actually has like docking or something. Like I'd love to go see it. I've actually, I've seen that movie. It's not gay, but let us know about Gay Vampires, what you think. Also what we should do in the future. Month, themes, movies, whatever. Let us know. You can reach us at places and that's all I've got to say. Happy Pride. Go get yourself a baked clam honey and goodbye. I see everyone out here with clams casino. Goodbye and good night.