Free Birds

Are we? Traveling back in time to the first thanksgiving to take turkey off the menu? Well yes! Covering the 2013 fever dream that is Free Birds this week in a short little holiday episode.  

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Transcript

The SWAMP (00:00.13)
We're going back in time to the first Thanksgiving to take turkey off the menu. Well, sounds like a lot of work, honestly. Wow, wow, wow, we're gonna go back in time. see, I've said it once before and I'll say it again. If you can do an Owen Wilson, you can do a Jennifer Coolidge, you can do a Heath Ledger Joker. They're all...

Interconnected. Interconnected on such a deep level that I often lose myself. I often, I shoot for Owen. You shift, yeah. I shoot for Owen and I land on Jennifer, you know? I mean, I think it's really where you feel most comfortable. Right. Where you kind of end up. And I'm like so dark and twisted, and I'm like always sounding like the Joker. my God, this movie made me feel like the Joker though. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, but like... Can you explain? No, that I want to go, that I would just want to go on TV and kill Jimmy Fallon.

well fair enough. Okay, sure. Where's the Jimmy Kimmel? I always forget which one I don't like. You told me that you are less offended by Jimmy Fallon. No. You don't like Kimmel. You don't like Kimmel. Who's the one who's dead behind you? You don't like Kimmel. I don't know. Fallon's the one that had beef with Young Justice and No, he's the one I don't like. He had no respect for the Rizzler. I don't either, but...

I saw a great- I don't like Jimmy Fallon. I got beef with him. I saw the best tweet that was like, Ellen was an apex predator. Yes, yes, Who used to wring these people out, spit them out on the curbside. The hop to a girl would not be coming out with her own bitcoin if Ellen was still- It's true, it's so true. You're mean to a PA one time. No, I'm not an Ellen defender. I'm I'm a kia staunch Ellen hater. Yeah, fuck Ellen. Fuck Ellen. You know what-

is like the proto next evolution of Ellen that is a successful iteration in this movie. think Amy Poehler. Amy Poehler has the Ellen sauce. She has that same, she's got the Ellen Riz, but she uses her powers for good. Yeah, yeah, actually. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. I think everything we seem to know about Amy Poehler definitely checks for me. Like, she's all right. Absolutely. Stick around. Absolutely. Big fan of Amy Poehler.

The SWAMP (02:17.07)
2017 girl boss feminism for me? I'm just talking my mouth about it. White women could do a lot worse. Exactly. You know what? Well, yeah. She was one of the only redeeming parts of this film as well. Yes. I was giggling at the little eyeball bit. The lazy eye. So we'll be talking about the 2013 movie Free Bird. Yes. The theme is bad, right? The theme this month is bad. The theme this week is Thanksgiving. Of course.

I don't know if you like, did you know anything about this movie before I texted you? No, and I'm not sure that I ever watched it as a kid, because this is very much one of those ones that you watch in the car. Right, yeah. You know? We were rattling off a hoodwink to an open season. at the barnyard. exactly. The very, yeah, your friend's mom has the Toyota. Yeah, No Meal and Juliet, something like that. Right. Exactly. This very much falls into that category, but...

It was 2013 and I think I was too far gone at this point. wasn't watching. wasn't watching this. I wasn't touched by then. Exactly. I was making playlists and I was staring out the window longingly. know. The tail end for us, we were just aged out, I think. Exactly. Because I had never seen this before, but I had certainly seen like Hoodwinked. Right. And I had not seen this movie, but I had only seen memes. Sure.

There's like one meme in particular, it's like girls with a time machine and it's like her visiting her grandmother and it's like those like poorly drawn bits like boys with a time machine and then it's a clip of the turkey saying we're gonna go back in time and take turkey off of the menu or whatever. They say the tagline of the film and the post really popped off and I think there are a bunch of like YouTube analysis videos of like what the fuck is going on here. But I had never seen the actual movie but I knew it was like

a meme, upon starting the movie, seeing that it was a Nickelodeon production, I assume, did have a theatrical release in some capacity, given that it was probably a holiday movie in 2013. They were probably putting this in theaters. I believe that they were, but it was probably intended to be straight to TV, a made-for-TV movie, essentially.

The SWAMP (04:29.262)
And so I was like, what better of a thing to do on this Thanksgiving We might as well. Then just give you guys a short little cute episode. We're not really going to get too deep into the lore about free birds. There's actually a link in the description below. I think there is a really popular YouTube essay that goes through what is going on here. Because you could, I mean, this is a movie that you could really use one for. Right. If you would not go there, we just. Well, this movie's a lot. It's a lot.

Starts a new movie every 10 minutes actually yeah until it ends Almost every 10 minutes. They're like and you know what and you know what this calls back to cats Well, yeah, it's a new cat every 10 minutes. It's a full circle. Yeah, we're ending where we start exactly start with cats ends with turkeys exactly You know what they say? Enlighten me one in the cat is two in the two turkeys Do you have them thoughts or feelings about turkeys in general though?

So we grew up in an area where there are like wild turkeys. Very big population. There's a lot of them, so they'll be like in the rodent shit. They're just about as common as like, I don't know, not pigeons, but they're- Deer? Yeah, but I'm just, well, that's not a good comparison, because people who don't have deer probably also don't wear a monkey. But they're-

You know, you'll have to see them, they'll go in the road. They're ugly motherfuckers. That's what I was hoping you were gonna say. are ugly. Turkeys are so fucked, dude. The way that they try to facetune these fucking turkeys for this movie. You're not fooling me. The way you little gizzard is like a smooth, it looks like Not fooling me. That's a ball sack. Those are not gawgs. Dehydrated nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just as foul as you could.

Yeah, they're really ugly. They're big. And I don't think that's very good as far as my poultry. No. I'm just sort of like, it's just a cumbersome chicken that tastes worse. Yeah. I didn't realize that there's not, people really don't have turkeys around them. all over. You know what I mean? I thought it was a pretty common thing. It's just. No, it's just us. I mean, at least coming from my friends that are from the Midwest. Right.

The SWAMP (06:43.726)
horrified seeing turkeys for the first time. really they had no association of what to to the actual thing. No idea. Exactly. Yes sorry that yay I didn't set that up very well. No. Yes the the jump scare of seeing a real turkey IRL. What's it because only in cartoons and they're always facetuned. Yeah. Who see and and like where are you that you're seeing a turkey IRL? Not at the zoo. Exactly no one no one's going and looking for a turkey you're not interacting with a turkey.

on an everyday span unless you live around them. We need to- So the jump scare of like being introduced to a turkey is rather frightening. I've seen it. Which I feel like maybe the only context in which a turkey is really like the face of something in reality is getting pardoned. And that was one of the many, one of the beginnings to the They truly are so ugly that they shouldn't have to be poor. They should be alive. We're not pardoning you.

First of all, I'm sorry, maybe I should just Google this, but what is the beginning lores of the turkey being pardoned? don't know. What's the crime? Why aren't we calling it pardoning? It's like all turkeys are born with sin. Like, what are we saying with this? It's just so, like, typical white people bullshit. I mean, I'm sure that it came around post Groundhog Day, you know what I mean, where they love to, like, bring...

another festive animal out. Right. And do the whole thing and make a show of it and show we're all country. Love you guys. Is Turkey safe? I don't know. And maybe PETA. Maybe. Maybe PETA has to do with it. They're need to, they're like, be pardoned one. And they were like, yeah, okay, sure. they were like, Maybe should have asked for a bit more, huh? Yeah, I don't know. So that's a great question for someone who does like

video essays on TikTok. Right. Yeah, Explain the turkey to me, please. Well, explain the turkey pardoning at least. Because this film actually, for all of its faults, for all of its jarring beginnings, it does do a good job setting up. Owen Wilson narrates to us. He says, people love holidays. Americans. We're speaking to an American audience. It's a Nickelodeon direct-to-TV movie. Absolutely it is. middle America here. He says, people love holidays.

The SWAMP (09:07.266)
They love Thanksgiving. Food, meat, we're establishing a theme, okay? Yes. Right, we're setting it up. The shit is for children. Sure. Great. But then it just keeps like setting shit up that he's the outsider turkey and the other turkeys don't like him. And the other turkeys are stupid. You mean turkeys are dumb and he's the only one who's smart. He was born with a blue head and not a red head. Yeah, he's different. He's different. He's skinny because he refuses to eat the corn because they're all like cornflakes. Yeah.

And then there's like a religious- basically wearing his tin hat. He's kind of- he's kind of a- But the whole thing gets undone in reverse when the turkeys are like, wait, you're right, we believe you. Then he gets taken away to be the turkey who's parted by the president. Special turkey, He's gonna be parted by the president. Okay, what the fuck? He's like getting- He he's made it. He's hanging out in the White House, he's pulling pranks? You think maybe this will be a silly film about how he gets to be the parted turkey? No. He gets kidnapped.

by what I only assume is supposed to be like a communist rebel flunker. Like sleeper agent basically. You know comrade and he's like we're the- I don't even know his name but- The turkey liberation gun. It's Woody Harrelson. It's just Woody Harrelson and it's only him. They didn't even him the script. Yeah it's basically two turkeys wearing two different tin hats. Link up to maximize their joint sleigh. Exactly. To go pack in time to the first Thanksgiving and take turkey off the menu.

Yeah, yeah, because apparently crazy turkey Woody Harrelson has caught wind that there is an operation to actually send someone back in time. That the government has a time machine that will rip open the space-time pussy continuum. Jodie Foster's space-time pussy continuum. It's so- To contact so fast. So contact coded to make- And then they get into this like egg orb. Yeah, well they commandeer it from the president.

the astronaut that they're sending. Woody Harrelson-Turkey and Owen Wilson-Turkey hijack the mission to travel back in time, which is happening the day before Thanksgiving. And they go back in time. They tell George Takei, who plays the space... Space Hal. Hal. Steve. Steve. Well, sorry, Steve, yes. Steve Hal. And he bring us to the Thanksgiving. And so they go back in time. And this is only...

The SWAMP (11:29.134)
20 minutes into the film. my god, you're right. He's like, wow, I've watched six whole movies at this point. It's absolutely mind-boggling. And then it just continues because he meets Amy Poehler turkey who has titty. Yeah. And a lazy a. Yeah. How could you not love her? And they link up with the- Well, the Native American. The Native- Native American turkeys. Yeah, the indigenous coated turkeys whose feathers are all precariously placed so that you know.

what they're trying to represent. It wasn't like doing anything with that in a way that was... Yeah, that was actually meaningful. was really weird. It was just that the turkeys from... that lived in America back in those days were... Were the native turkeys. ...also like them. Yeah, because they didn't bring those on the go over with them. Yeah. But so basically Owen Wilson turkey, Husta...

set up a plan with Amy Poehler turkey because they're the two smart turkeys and then Woody Harrelson turkey has to link up with Keith David turkey. my god it really was he the one who died who's wearing the George Washington wig. I think that was really yeah but then there's the basically the two buff the two buff turkeys chief turkey the chief turkey and Woody Harrelson and they're both like the operative guys and they like have this really homoerotic dizziness of like masculinity or they

They out their ballsack. Like literally what the fuck. Their neck ballsacks, yeah. A of chase sequences. The townspeople are angry at the Burgamaster because he hasn't given them food but he's saving the food for Thanksgiving. And then Amy Poehler, Turkey known Wilson Turkey go into the spaceship and he shows her the earth and that like knocks her into consciousness.

And so then they have to, and then there's another part where he goes back and then there's time travel and there's like 10 Owen Wilson. He redirects his time travel plan to be like, no, you have to go back again. And then again, it give a magical doorknob to the baby version of Owen, of Woody Harrelson. He can be a prophet later than in the future deliver.

The SWAMP (13:36.288)
The plan, it's really absurd, but in the end, quite frankly, they do what they set out to do. They went to the first Thanksgiving and they took turkey off the menu. And they put pizza on it. put pizza, specifically pizza from Chuck E. Cheese, which is arguably one of the worst pizzas you can get. Yeah, that was a choice. They didn't even animate it to look good. No, looked like shit. It looked like shit, bitch. Like, I wonder if that was on purpose. Was that supposed to be a joke? Like, we got you the shittiest pizza.

that we have in America today and they're like, wow, this is great. This is gonna save race. It might've just been that this was also made for children and children are familiar with the place that serves- Chuck E. Cheese. Pizza as Chuck E. Cheese. Yes, and get that sponsorship. Get your book, Owen Wilson. Of course. Let see you. Can I just think about the way pizza looks in the very goofy movie?

With the drippy cheese and it like- Bringy. Makes you salivate or like teenage- This looks like chunky greasy pizza. It's like the- Congealed. The congealed cheese. The saddest possible thing you could see when you open the pizza box is like yeah, the sad congealed cheese. The one that- It looks cold. The one that like you can tell came from a pre-made, like with a pre-made crust. You know what I mean? And they just slap it on. Ugh. It's so sad.

And then that's the end of the movie and then what? He decides to stay in the old time so he can be with Amy Poehler? I don't even know. We watched this movie and it was like, we ended this movie 10 minutes ago and quite frankly- It's left my brain. And then there's like a post-credit scene where Woody Harrelson Turkey goes back to the future but then he keeps time traveling I guess. It's like we gotta do Turducken. They set it up for a cute little sequel.

Not that I think one ever happened. certainly hope not. I'm sure that everyone got the money that they were due from this and then ran. Well, I think it was kind of a flop, but it had a $55 million budget and it made back like $110 So it made back its money, but I don't think it's not a success as far as I'm No, I can't imagine that it would be. No, no.

The SWAMP (15:47.106)
But it's really giving 2013, it's giving back at the barnyard to me, that animation style. find nostalgic. For sure. It's so crunchy that I kinda like it. Yeah, I wish it was weirder. There was definitely some things in it that had me giggling. It wasn't weird in the way that some of the ones we grew up with were. Yeah, like unhinged. And unhinged and bizarre. It was just... It was taking itself a little too seriously.

My issue with it was it felt like, okay, obviously it was a new movie every 10 minutes. It felt like it was made to overstimulate me. Almost. Right. I mean, like, I don't know too much about all of that and the way that sort of content and media affects our brain or killed kids' brains and... Yeah, but you can only assume that it's getting worse. Yes, well, I know that,

They say, Coca melon is like really, really bad for your child's brain developmentally. this is they're not saying words. It's just sounds. That is not absorbing. Yeah. Yeah. Where like, Ms. Rachel is like really, it's really great or something like that. This is one that feels like it would be on the bad side of something to show for your child. The beginning of a dark path. think. Yes. Yes, exactly.

could be potentially brain rot. I still think a feature-length film with any sort of narrative composure is still a win. feels like in the creative process, they kind of just like shit into their hand and threw it on a wall and then picked out from there. No, they made a mind map. They put the words in the middle, we're traveling back in time to first Thanksgiving to take turkey off the menu. They put that in the center and they said, okay, let's mind map this.

and then they picked the 15 best sticky notes of Mium in a chronological order and let a different person write each scene and that was the fucking film. And that, you know what that is? That was the precursor to AI. Well, but at least it was. Somebody had a stupid idea. Sure.

The SWAMP (17:51.822)
and they just made this whole movie around this one kind of dumb idea and yeah. Sure, okay, and then time travel and then why not make him the turkey who got parted? Okay, it's a creative writing exercise. Like an improv or something that they just happened to get a 55 million dollar budget for. Still think that that as a concept is a lot better than a lot of shit.

10%. It does feel a little AI-generated to me, though. yeah, yeah. Like I said, in the first step down a bad path, but it's still only like the very first when media started to get really brain-rotty. Exactly. Like, it's just fucking stupid. But the striking difference between, like, our perspective in 2024 right now and then, I'm sure, when they made it. Yeah, this is about a decade. In 2013.

Like we were cracking up at the fact that the president, the animated president in this movie was like a young, he was like a 45 to 50 year old man. He had like a daughter who was probably like six or something. Like a comic relief moment daughter or something. Like a normal aged man to be the president. And we're like, how sweet. How sweet was that? That in 2013, they thought that that was still a possibility. That that was something that might potentially happen. Like now I'm like, can we get them?

Under 70. That's the goal. Yeah, ideally. Ideally. A 60 would be good. Yeah, in the 60s and you're like, literally when Kamala is like the cool young option and she's Yeah, yep. It's so dire. It's so dire. It brought a tear to my eye, truly, that I'm like, this was the comical future that they...

Yeah, that they could've come up with. Yeah, I go, my god. But I think I wanna make a reel of Owen Wilson's voice as Lightning McQueen in Cars, as the polar bear in Fantastic Mr. Fox, and then the Sim and Miss. Yeah. And just like put it together like an audition reel, but it's like him saying wow in all of them in the same fucking inflection. hire me, Owen Wilson, for your next film. We're all talk like this. Like every fucking time. I wish I could be that naturally.

The SWAMP (19:56.93)
The way you- the cadence of your natural speaking voice is so captivating that they're like, don't do anything. Yeah, just come in and read the line. He's booking this guy to go, Brilliant. Mm-hmm. He cast a spell or a charm on us all, I think, cause- cause how does he get away with this? I guess Woody Harrelson too, just to always me. If you really find your archetype early on Hollywood, I guess you can really get your bag with that. I'll never say no to Woody Harrelson.

Love that man. No, I think he's problematic. Yeah, I think he's a bastard. Yeah. The milk truth. Unfortunately. Not the raw milk. We a raw milk truth-er. Not an RFK raw milk. Zin popping. Good news, you guys. Mango Jolpugs are about to be legalized. Yeah, my god, it's the worm in his brain that's gonna run the fucking Food and Drug Administration.

Jesus Christ. No, we're so fucked. I also wanted to promote that we have an episode, if you're still listening 20 minutes in, here's a little nugget of free wisdom for you. We just posted an episode up on our Patreon about the new movie, Anorah, and we actually just made it so anyone can listen to it. So even if you're not a Patreon member, if you don't pay our $2.86,

fee, $.86 fee to be a member of the Swamp Patreon. You can still listen to our episode on Enora, because we just decided to put it... It was like a shorter one. We just sort of did some... I assume this episode will be a little bit shorter as well, because it's Thanksgiving week. We're going to the Charlie XCX brat party. Right? Yes. I need to bleach my eyebrow. my god, stop, should we? No. But, you know, if you want some more swamp content this week, you go over there. Always on Patreon. We're hopefully going to be doing...

a wicked, a wicked episode in the coming weeks. We were gonna do Gladiator. But fuck Gladiator. So we're deciding not to cover, we're gonna fucking Gladiator because we were both ripped to get-

The SWAMP (21:57.08)
Yeah, the theater, obviously, yeah. For everyone. Obviously squirting in the seat alongside my girls. Except it turns out, who would have thought it, that an old man is a Zionist. no, Ridley Scott. I don't know enough to say it about Ridley Scott, but I know that whoever, what production company is doing Gladiator? Whatever, whatever production. I don't know, Hollywood hates. Well, Hollywood is just full of Zionists crawling with them.

And they basically cut out this actress from the entire film because she's an Egyptian Palestinian actress. Yep, and she was like wearing Kofiha's promotional stuff. they just cut her out of the movie almost entirely. She's still in it, a very small-

in the background. name is Mae Callumway. I know Pedro Pascal has been posting a lot of photos of her, which I feel like is an incredibly low bar. People will be like, wow, he's really doing his part. I'm like, he hasn't said anything. I think he's doing the sneaky PR thing, but it's still such a low fucking bar. It's so obvious what happened here, that she's Palestinian and was openly speaking about the genocide that's happening. And they were like, we're going to...

She was the love interest, the main love exactly. Yeah, and they were like, let's cut. Which is a huge part in a ginormous blockbuster movie. They're like, well, cut this part out. Yeah, so, so. Yeah, fuck you Ridley Scott. We'll be pirating it now. Yeah, exactly. So, so, but we will be talking about Wicked because apparently it's the new fucking Citizen Kane. Everybody loves Wicked, my boss. My boss, he's like, yeah, my eight-year-old daughter really wants to see it. I guess I'll take her this weekend. And I, on Monday, I was like, how was it? And he was, it was amazing.

Yeah. was like, my god, great reviews. Everyone I speak to. I'm really excited to get it thrown back into my face. Yeah. Yeah, I love to be wrong. I guess people, some people are still holding up on the criticism that the directing is not great. Sure. That the color grading is an issue. Sure. And that there are not enough like group scenes where you call them like chorus on soft lines. yeah. That there's really only the one at the school.

The SWAMP (23:59.726)
that they keep showing with Bo and... Yeah, yeah, yeah. scene looks really good because it's the only time in the movie they ever do that. So it's like, hmm, interesting. But I'm gonna reserve my own opinion. I'm gonna hold space. I hear that Ariana Grande might be getting a best actress nom. I'm gonna hold space for the lyrics of Defying Gravity on this one. Absolutely the fuck not. We'll see, we'll see. Crazy. I listened to the soundtrack. We'll see. I don't know. Apparently she really made it her own. V hit the notes, but she was breathy.

I'll say it. I'm very excited. I'm actually pretty stoked about it now. you like a wicked, like did you grow up listening to that a lot? Definitely had a phase of it. I wouldn't say it was ever on my top, you know, list. But I think that once I listen to it, it's all gonna come rushing back to me. I had a big wicked- I bet you fucking did. Yeah, growing. Yeah. Like, cause I went to see it. Of course. Of course. My friend was way more into it than I was. She had like read the book and shit.

She was really into the book. Anything I have heard from the soundtrack I've heard through TikTok and No one mourns the wicked I will say I am very impressed with her. No, she hits the notes. She's a good singer. I'm not saying she sounds bad. I'm saying I think I'm excited to see her comedic timing and everything like that. I mean, it's also funny. That's us. Exactly. I think she's got it. I think she's got it in her

So I'm excited. Bob the Drag Queen had good things to about it. I saw that. his opinion as well. Bo and Yang and her are also good friends. Like, I think that she's, I think she's a funny person. Like, remember, we have to remember her roots on Victorious. God, Truly though, I mean, it does come in handy. God, I literally, I showed my hairdresser a photo of Ariana Grande in 2014 and I said...

One day I'm putting you on blast. Give it to me. Young, young redhead dara. I had a hair dying phase for quite a while and I think, what was it, like seventh through like tenth grade. You have bright red hair. to my waist length, fire truck red. Yeah. It was a lot. Yeah. It was a lot. It looks good. Thanks. Yeah. It was a lot of upkeep.

The SWAMP (26:18.318)
I could imagine. Yeah, I have a lot of I could imagine Jen's credit card bills, supposed to be in the fucking room. Like my hairdresser would be like, hey, can you, you have to make appointments like early because we have to pre-order the dye. Because we use so much that we don't, they're like, we don't carry much this red dye 40. So like we don't even put this much in stock. Like we need to pre, we need to special order. Yeah.

That shit fried my hair, because I was also I'm fucking bad. was bleached blonde for years, and there was also hot pink for a second, and I looked like the main bitch from LazyTown. And that's when I said this needs to end. Yeah, and now you've been pretty brown for a while. Yeah, I just have rat tails now, which is my way of- Expressing myself. Yeah, without putting coloring in it, because I wish that I could do that shit without it, totally damaging it. I know, that's why I shaved my head to dye my hair, because I didn't want to fuck with it that bad.

and I wasn't, yeah, but anyways. If only, only a hair dye that was all natural would sponsor our podcast. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. but what else were we talking about? fricking Ringo Starr casting confirmed. my God. Yes. Mr. Berry. there have been speculated in rumors they're going to make four separate biopics for each member of the Beatles.

Yeah, that's what they say. this is what the plan is. that confirmed? This is what I've... This is all the speculation. Nothing is confirmed confirmed, but this is the speculation is that it's a four separate biopics directed by different people, question mark? Maybe check me on that. But that will all come out on the same day in 2027. So all four Beatles biopics will be out and available at the same time. Best day of my fucking life. I don't believe it.

That would be, I mean, would be a fucking bear of an undertaking, but I would- There's rigmarole over who is who and some speculative things, but we've got the first- Barry Kugin. Information in an interview with Ringo Starr. Yeah, he said he believes Barry is taking drum lessons, so it is all but confirmed. He believes Barry should be, hopefully. Hopefully. Hopefully taking drum lessons. Ringo. Well, yes. You don't really- You need to unlearn.

The SWAMP (28:36.948)
Yeah. Take drumming lessons and then you need to do some unlearning to be be Ringo. Or maybe just to like a fifth. No, I think you just need to learn how to do drums when you're on drugs. while you yeah, while you figure that out, it's got to be simultaneous. But.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm a huge Beatles fan, and I'm a big fan of a lot of the boys that have their names in the ring for these roles. So I've got a lot at stake here. And you're a Paul? You're a Paul? I'm a Paul girl. I love Ringo, obviously. I'm a drummer. I'm heart. I love Ringo. But you're a Paul girl, and Mr. Paul Meskell is rumored to be playing Paul. So that could be like... I Paul basically just...

shot to your chest. I mean, I'm gonna turn into like, Goopy Elisisu, one of the new stories. My god, literally my face, I'm I'm for the log. Exactly, exactly it. I don't know how I feel about Barry, honestly. I'm not convinced. You think, I don't have anything against Sabrina Carpenter.

I think her music is a lot of fun. I think her top 40 hits don't annoy me yet. Whatever. Agreed. People who are like, why is she being sexy on stage? It's like, shut the fuck up. I'm like, let her do whatever she wants. She's so hot. She should be able to wear a little, a cute outfit. She should be able to go pussy out. think she should be able to like, do you know that? I'm just, I just feel like she should be able to squirt on stage onto like the audience.

if she so chose. It honestly about all of that. I think there's nothing wrong with that. So I like Sabrina Carpenter just fine. And I really, really love Barry Keoghan, specifically leading up to his casting in the Marvel's Eternals. Yes, yes. That's kind of one of his big first, like,

The SWAMP (30:33.422)
into the big block. Yes, and he started getting hot. Started popping off because he got that Marvel training. Yes. To get the body. Yes. I was a fan of him before the Sure, sure, sure. Then, of course, from there, he's now going to be the Joker in the new Batman, which is kind of big and popping off, and especially Sultrond. That was like the big thing, right? Yes, I don't love that. Did you think once the world learned that he had a hog, he'd act indifferent?

Swear it, cuz I find him so charming and now I just like see him in his fucking fuckboy outfits at Coachella cheering on Sabrina Carpenter and I'm like that's great and everything but no no it's not you're no longer for me exactly sorry exactly also learning about the whole wife and kid thing also not my favorite really jugs that speculated yeah yeah yeah that's not yeah

I just don't know if he he doesn't give me a Ringo energy. I don't get Ringo energy from him. I mean, I think anyone that really wants to get into this go watch the Beatles Not the help movie that one's a little bit questionable, but they What is it hard days night or something like that? That's the that's the good Beatles. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. I believe hard days night. Hold on. Hold on. Let me let me make sure I'm getting this right

Fuck is it? Where's my diary? You watched it recently? Yes, I did watch it recently. Fun watch. Yeah, it just really gives you an understanding of who these young men will have to be playing to a certain extent. Yeah, pregame the Beatles cast announcement by watching A Hard Day is Night. Well, I think it's just like, there's, I... Okay, the thing about these movies, I'm not worried about...

the casting choices for these men for the later periods, like Sergeant Pepper's era and afterwards. But them playing, like, the young, I'm a little skeptical now. I'm a bit skeptical. almost wonder, though, if each different movie will focus on a different part of each of their lives. Maybe. So if you want, because to me, there has to be some sort of buy-in to see all four.

The SWAMP (32:52.558)
because if you're like, okay, I'll just go see the John Lennon one, right? But if that's only a little piece, they only show John Lennon in a specific, know, in the later years with fucking Yokohama or whatever. But then it's like, if you want to get the earlier Beatles, you'll have to go see- Like George. The George movie. Yeah, right? So I feel like they are gonna have to spread it out to keep people interested. Yeah. So- We'll see. I highly doubt they're doing a beginning to end Beatles career full recap movie of each Beatles.

I bet it's gonna be like, vignettes or like a snack. I think I agree with you there and I think that would be the more tasteful thing to do for sure. And I think that I think that everyone with their name in the hat would do a really good job. Honestly, I could see Harris Dickinson doing a really great job at John Lennon. And I think obviously that

these are all coming at times in their careers, which makes sense. Yeah. Certainly for Paul Meskul. Right. Certainly for Harris Dickinson, especially with Baby Girl on her way. OK. I've seen some actually good criticism, of that. Those, movies, I'm going to go see Baby Girl and I'm going to like it. And I'm going to, well, I don't know if I'm going to like it, but I'm going to. I'm certainly going to jerk off to it. I'm going to be excited about it, you know, right? Yeah. But I.

did see a lot of good criticism about how those movies about those power dynamics are always that situation. And it's just because she's an older woman and he's younger man does not change the fact that it's always a male domination. You're right. Right? And even, it's power switch. She's us. No matter what other power struggle, it's always like a different thing. And it's like, can we just move beyond? I'm hoping that it surprises me.

And that there's something about it that flips it on its head and it's not just that and that there is a bit of, you know, something a little bit more than that. Harris Dixon, I will say, has impressed me more as an after than Paul has. I've seen normal people though. Dara. I'm unlike Ridley. Have you seen Aftersun? No. Yeah, well. Yeah, yeah, and you've seen like Triangle of Sadness. Yeah, yeah.

The SWAMP (35:06.414)
Yeah, okay. I think there's some homework that you have to do that. I got a podcast with my full media. Yeah, but I mean, and can I know about, because of Quinn as George. So you've had some other guys? I saw that. And now- But it's still, it's like a 50-50, every other show I see, the or the other. That's the thing that I just don't know yet. I cannot tell if this man can really act.

I have yet to We have to see Gladion. I have yet to see it. Well, he's hardly in it. He's hardly in it. Really? It's him and another, and they play twins. I know that. The twin emperors. And they're basically like a Beavis and Butthead comedy relief moment that is very, very scarce. It's not in it. They're not in it a lot. They are not the primary villains of the film. Even though the trailer makes them out to be, I think their appearance in the trailer actually might be about it in the film. But what are you going to eat and drink with this?

I'm just gonna keep it simple. Let's get into our regular scheduled programming. I would fuck the turkey, eat the turkey, kill the turkey, marry the turkey. Yes, yes, exactly. Which turkey? Well, that's a brief that is I... no, I don't think we can play fuck, marry, No, I don't think so. There was like the fucking mayor of the town, the turkey hunter. Turkey hunter was kinda hot. I'd let him hit. Marry the Chuck E. Cheese pizza delivery guy whose goatee turned into a rat tail. I think it's actually...

It's gonna like connect that way, yeah. think so. yeah, I'll fuck the turkey hunter. Sure. And that's it. I'm not getting involved anywhere else. The only woman billed on this entire film is Amy Poehler. Eat and drink though, I'm gonna... You should have a Thanksgiving sandwich. Of course. I'm gonna make a vodka crayon and keep it really fucking simple because this movie is a goddamn mess.

then- Do not have pizza. No, do not have pizza. I liked my breakfast option today, which was our, shout out the coffee house. Just the coffee house. The coffee house. Shout out the coffee house. They do this thing called, what is it, like sweet and salty, where it's like a cinnamon, cinnamon bagel with bacon and like some kind of fun cream cheese.

The SWAMP (37:22.062)
and an egg but I don't like eggs right now. It's like basically a bacon egg and cheese but with sweet cream cheese and sweet bagel. Yeah. And the bacon, I don't know, with the bacon and the sweets like really salty and sweet. Exactly. It's really good. honestly. But I am not in an egg phase of my life so I got that. I took that right off. I said no thank you, no egg so it was basically just...

a bagel with cream cheese and some bacon on it. was fucking fire. Fire and an iced coffee Yeah, exactly. To prep you for your Thanksgiving meal. Exactly. So, yeah, I think you're right though. A Thanksgiving sandwich is gas. That's the only way I ever really want Thanksgiving turkey is like in a sandwich with a bunch of other shit. Yeah, yeah. turkey's ass. Thanksgiving's a bullshit holiday. I know. I was gonna brine a turkey this morning and then I, you know...

It just wasn't even fucking worth it. Because I mean, all you do is slather. The way that you eat turkey is that you put it on your fork with the other stuff. Yeah, yeah. So that you sneak it in your mouth so you're still eating it. But you don't have to fucking taste this shitty ass turkey. I actually had the first good turkey of my life. Yes. Our friend Rachel, shout out.

friend of the pod, Rachel. Shouts out, Rachel. Made a fire turkey. Covered it in Cajun butter. My God, it was amazing. Nine sticks of butter. Yeah. Flothered all over that turkey. Yeah. It was amazing. That's a turkey that I would raw dog. That's the first, genuinely the first turkey in my life that I've been like, wow, this was worth the effort. Absolutely, absolutely. So one in a million, you know? Yeah, yeah, truly. I don't have that kind of effort in me though. I mean, I am in charge of the Thanksgiving meal. You're in charge.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. That's a huge responsibility. I don't mind it. I don't do shit. I like it. I bring a bottle of wine. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I've got it down to science at this point, basically. So I'm not too worried. That's a great skill. Yeah. That's a really good test of your organizational management. I actually think if put on your resume, my family fully puts me in charge of Thanksgiving dinner and I hire you. Yeah. Like that is a good sign of like managing your whole experience, organization.

The SWAMP (39:26.37)
Everything you want and like I'll have like my mom held me out with a couple of the things basically, but you're delegating tasks Yeah, but but yeah, but I I know that I start off with my cranberry sauce because that can just sit there and get reheated and you know mashed potatoes I'll make the cranberries. Yeah, do homemade the homemade. Okay much better and super easy super easy You just throw some cinnamon sticks in there some Grand Marnier a little sugar a little brown sugar.

some orange juice, call it a day. Yeah, not bad. I love that gelatinous shit. It's disgusting. I love it. Yeah, it reminds me of my childhood. Again, slathering everything in cranberry sauce so that it's edible. Exactly. It really doesn't matter at the end of the day. I also grew up eating boiled vegetables. Disgusting. Sick. It's fucked up. Sick. No, I do that. I do a bacon Brussels sprout. Yes. That one's like... Fire.

And then, what else? I love a sweet potato casserole. See, I'm big fan of that. I do not want marshmallows in my dinner. I do, I want something to sort of palate cleanse the savory everything else. Somebody made a good point recently that that is way better with ham than it is with turkey though. I would bet, that makes sense. sweet potato casserole with the ham, because it's way saltier, that makes way more fire. I feel like I would like that. That makes a lot of sense. I'm stealing your husband's...

salad for my Thanksgiving dinner though. Hank makes a fire salad and he brought a fire one to Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I know hearing everyone was like gassing him up and I'm like hell yeah I get to eat this salad like

Every f**k I Yeah, like anytime I want. Yeah. It's pretty great. F**k you bitches. But, and then what what else do we have to do? What movie are you gonna follow? you absolutely watch the Peanuts Thanksgiving. That's one of my favorite things. I love doing that with my family and... Like having the pretzels and the...

The SWAMP (41:21.996)
the jelly beans and the popcorn and all that. Yo, that's classic. Post-fine. Yeah, I love that. And I think it's fun. And I like that they do like the Mayflower episode too with it. And that's a bit close to us because we live near- Very New England. Yeah. How many times have you been to the Mayflower? More than I'd fucking like. Yeah, I walk by her regularly. You know playing with rock, the rock they've stepped on when they came to the country? It's so lame.

It's this whole pagoda built around this lame- It's just a- just a boulder. It's about the size of like a couch cushion. something like that. You'd think it would be massive. No, it's- it's pretty small. Pretty... Yeah, just- just a rock. And, you know, fuck the pilgrims, fuck colonialism. Yeah, exactly. Goes without saying, fuck Thanksgiving. Exactly. but I'd say that this was like just short of being a vegetarian propaganda movie until they replaced the turkey with-

pepperoni pizza. Yes. So it's like, okay, so it's all about how like each turkey has a soul and we're going to save them. But it's like, just replace it with a different animal product. It's like, okay, well that kind of just gets rid of the point, you know? Some great vegetarian propaganda, I think is okja. So I watch Bong Joon-ho's Okja. That's a great, yeah. without gutting.

meat off the menu. You're right. You're so right. I'm always... I also saw some... After Mickey17 got pushed back, I saw some Bong Joon Ho slander on my Twitter time. Hey! Of people being like, why are people even excited for this movie? looks lame. rubs and dupes. I'm like, why do you hate fun? Yeah.

I'm is your problem? I'm sorry you have no whimsy. Literally, what the fuck is your problem? Yeah, when being like, yeah, y'all pretending to like Okja just because it's from the same director as Parasite, and I'm like, no, I fucking love Okja. I'm like, just, I need to take a back. And speaking of Mr. Bong Joon Ho, speaking of Mickey 17 getting pushed to-

The SWAMP (43:16.75)
till April. Now you will all have more time to do our swamp book club. We're all going to try to read Mickey 17. I need to honor it still. I know. We're like, we'll do it really early in time so we'll all have like a really long time to read the book. And then they did us a favor by actually pushing will be even further.

because they knew how slow of a read- Yeah, because our dumb fucking asses. So thanks, thanks Bong for pushing that back just for the small book club. Steady Bong. But we'll probably do some sort of like fun episode about that once that movie comes That's probably on the Patreon. Well of course. Which you can go listen to it in Nora or you know go through and see what other news stuff we've covered. I can't, hopefully soon. We will be holding space until then. Until then, yes. Happy holidays to those who celebrate.

Thursday to everyone else. Goodbye and good night.